This Week in the Ancient Near East

The discovery of an Iron Age pot in Jerusalem with an inscription in a South Arabian language has us flustered. We knew there was an ancient spice trade between the Levant and Yemen, but does this mean that Solomon and Sheba were real? It’s a spicy discussion with breathless notes of labdanum. Come for the world systems theory, stay for all the aunts in a cloud of Shalimar!

A 52 foot long Book of the Dead sounds like a super deluxe edition, but if you’re traveling from death to judgment and into the afterlife you can’t be too careful. But did anyone in ancient Egypt actually believe this stuff? What about the non-believers? Where did they fit in? Our contestants slide effortlessly into Spinoza mode, but still worry a little about Ammit, devoureress of the dead.

In 1923 Cecil B. De Mille made The Ten Commandments on a huge Egyptian set in the California dunes, which archaeologists have excavated. So obviously we’re asking, what’s the deal with Biblical movies? Ripping yarns or morality tales with Nazi punching? And would a picture about the backbreaking scientific tedium of real archaeology be a crowdpleaser? With a special shoutout to our friends Donny O...

Fingerprints on ancient pottery? Like from the potters? Ok, we’re not cops but we are a little curious. Who are these potters at Byzantine Moza, Tell Leilan, Tell en Nasbeh, Tell es Safi, and other Bronze and Iron Age sites around the Near East? Who's producing what and why are they using child labor to decorate pottery? Maybe we really should call the cops. 

Central Asian tin in a Late Bronze Age shipwreck at the bottom of Mediterranean raises questions like, “who brought the tin thousands of kilometers west from what’s now Uzbekistan,” and “who’s tin was it when the boat sank.” Ok, they’re not questions like, “what is best in life” or “are you going to eat that sandwich” but they’re what we’ve got.

The discovery of a 26th Dynasty mummification workshop has shown that exotic ingredients came from as far as India and Africa. Is this just an early version of Goop, rich people getting sold on weird ingredients just because the poors were catching up? But then how do we explain the sun dried crocodiles? Go ahead, we’ll wait.

This is the city, Uruk. I was working the day shift out of the Eanna Temple when the call came in about a missing sheep and tunic. We picked up the perp pretty quickly and he started to sing, so we rolled up 39 of his pals. But word came down that the great and the good were putting up bail. That’s when the king got involved and things got interesting.

In the Middle Paleolithic dinner included plants like bitter vetch and mustard. The problem is these plants are toxic. So who figured out that you had to soak, pound and char them before eating? More importantly, what happened to the folks who didn’t figure it out? Come for the helpful cooking hints, stay for the incisive comments on wraps!

New Biblical era inscriptions allegedly by Hezekiah are making waves in the newspapers. They raise many questions like, where’s the full scholarly publication, and, how about a decent picture at least? Is that how we do it now, just talk about stuff in the papers before producing the goods? How do we know if something is real and spectacular if it isn’t reviewed by a jury of one’s peers? Our conte...

Ancient Apocalypse on Netflix has been watched like 25 million times and archaeologists are up in arms. It’s worlds in collision! It’s an unsolved mystery! But really, what’s the big deal? Is crazy talk about a vanished civilization dangerous or ludicrous? Our contestants disagree amusingly on many issues. THAT’S WHY THEY SHOULD HAVE A NETFLIX SERIES! With a special guest appearance by Simon McCor...

An ivory lice comb found at Iron Age Lachish is actually from the Middle Bronze Age and contains the first complete Canaanite sentence. It talks about lice. Didn’t see that coming. So obviously we argue about hair care products and the connection between literacy and nearsightedness.

New data shows that cities in southern Mesopotamia were often islands in the stream divided by canals with lots of open spaces. What does it mean for early urban life if you have to take a gondola to work? Did kids learn to swim at Sumerian YMCAs? Who knew that urbanism was such a splash? 

The discovery of cheese in a 25th Dynasty Egyptian tomb made us realize, everybody loves cheese. But what is cheese, really? And whether a spreadable chevre or a squeaky halloumi, how did people even survive it before pasteurization? Our panelists stand proudly with the cheese.

A little smidgeon of a papyrus has returned from Montana to Jerusalem. Does it date to the Iron Age? Is it real? Does it contain the word Ishmael? How did it get to Montana? Our contestants are confused, as usual. Maybe more than usual, which is saying a lot.

The find of ivory decorations for furniture in Iron Age Jerusalem raises many questions. Where does the furniture come from and why does it look so uncomfortable? Were these diplomatic gifts or local knockoffs? Were there really elephants wandering around Syria in this period? Isn’t that what we should really be talking about?

A recent article on a button-like toy has us wondering, what are toys anyway and what are they for? Were there actually children in the past? And what is playing, really? No, really, what is playing? And that’s where things started getting sticky for us.

The upcoming 100th anniversary of the discovery of King Tut’s tomb has us talking about the discoverer, Howard Carter, who seems to have had sticky fingers and a propensity to fudge the story of his find. Ethics? Morals? Does it matter? Look at all that nice stuff!

New research shows that certain Late Bronze Age pots from Cyprus really did contain opium, which isn’t too surprising since they’re shaped like opium poppies. What’s going on? What was all this opium for? Was everyone in the past on drugs? Sure looks that way.

A new article on Neolithic skulls raises questions, like just how did all those skulls get separated from the bodies? Were there human sacrifices in the Neolithic or were there “ancestor cults,” whatever those were? Our contestants must dodge the ick factor to get to the Truth.

New data that show the chicken was domesticated vastly later than previously thought have shattered the poultry paradigm. Moreover, chickens were elite pets for centuries before someone decided to toss them in a pot. The myths of the archaic bird die hard in this fast moving and delicious episode.

A new analysis has shown King Tut’s knife was made of sky iron, that’s right, iron from the sky, you know, like from a meteor, the kind from outer space. What’s so special about iron anyway and what’s the deal with diplomacy and gift giving in the Late Bronze Age? And why are we talking about bellbottoms and personal computers?

The underground cult site at Başbük in southeastern Turkey has us wondering, why depict Aramean deities in an Assyrian style? Is this an Iron Age cult site or a rich guy’s rec room? Or is it both? Mukīn-abūa of Tušhan, you sly dog.

The discovery of oysters and crabs at Nabatean and Roman caravan sites in the Negev has us thinking, what’s going on here? What do we learn about trade and traders from food remains? Have we been too focused on the exports and not enough on the imports? One thing is for sure, you gotta eat.

The giant stone sculptures of boxers found in a first millennium BCE Sardinian cemetery have our contestants puzzled. Are these protective deities or just slightly oversized sports heroes? And why does every culture around the world first pile stones and then carve them? Didn’t they have anything better to do with their time?

New research has begun to reconstruct the smell of ancient perfumes from Egyptian tombs. But rich folks always try to smell better. The bigger question is what did the past smell like as whole? Our contestants detect zesty notes of burning dung and a cloying variety of herbs and spices.