This Is Why We Can't Have A Podcast!

Jen rolls into the mic fresh off an emergency root canal—half-numb, fully committed—so Ashton has to carry the chaos 😂. First up: a listener confession from Jen herself, featuring “Widow Rella,” the headstone business meeting from hell, and a married man who got WAY too comfortable sending after-hours texts (including a midnight “thinking about you” that sends the red flags into orbit). Then the...

Spring is springing 🌼—the weather is perfect, daffodils are popping up everywhere, and somehow that turns into a full spiral about tornado anxiety, storm shelters, and why our brains refuse to relax 😩😂. This week, Jen and Ashten go from “coquette ruffles and naked lady flowers” to 10 dark, lesser-talked-about psychology facts that hit way too close to home: being addicted to stress, why your br...

This week’s episode is giving chaos, confession, commentary… and full unc status energy 😌🎙️ We kick things off with a listener confession that takes us to a muddy cancer benefit parking lot, a golf cart, a dark rainy night… and a dent that may or may not have been confessed to. 👀🚗 Is it karma? Is it survival? Is it community service credit? We debate. From there, we spiral (naturally) into: The...

In this chaotic (and completely on-brand) episode of This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast , Jen and Ashten launch their brand-new segment “Jen’s Fever Dream Jukebox” — where they react to iconic (and slightly unhinged) music videos from the past. First up? The 80s one-hit wonder “Into the Night” … and let’s just say 👀 things get awkward fast. Between payphone serenades, magic carpet rides, and que...

Love is Dead, The Dog Ate My Jewelry, & The Lottery Husband Ritual Buckle up, chaos gremlins, because this episode started with a plan and ended in a full-blown existential crisis. We kick things off with our absolute favorite new segment, Listeners Confessions, and let’s just say some of you need a priest, a lawyer, or at least a better hiding spot for your browser history. We also announce o...

What starts as a simple debate over pineapple on pizza 🍍🍕 immediately spirals into Weight Watchers trauma 🧮, big-hair nostalgia 💇‍♀️, diet culture lies 😵‍💫, and the deeply unwell beauty standards of the 90s/early 2000s 👖✨. In this episode, the hosts unpack everything from zero-point mushrooms 🍄 and post-weigh-in sabotage lunches 🌮🍟 to perms, bangs, and the emotional damage of low-rise j...

This week’s Listener Confession Friday takes a sharp left turn into private-investigator territory 🕵️‍♀️ when an anonymous listener admits just how far they went to get the one thing no one would give them: a straight answer. What starts as unanswered texts and vague replies spirals into church livestreams ⛪, Instagram sleuthing 📸, and the kind of detective work that would make the FBI say, “oka...

This week we solve absolutely nothing… but loudly. We start off by discussing unresolved beef with people who don’t even know they’re in beef with us. You know the kind. No fight. No argument. Just vibes. Bad ones. And somehow we think the best conflict resolution strategy is walking up to someone and saying: “What’s your problem?” Which, historically, has never escalated anything. Ever. 🙂 From t...

This episode starts exactly how you’d expect from two Texas women personally victimized by ice: road rage, sliding vehicles, and what we are now officially calling VEHICULAR IRRITATION. If you’ve ever white-knuckled a steering wheel while judging every other driver’s life choices, welcome home. Then we hit a Listener Confession that is so diabolically organized it honestly deserves a filing cabine...

This episode starts innocent enough with a simple question: If you could only listen to ONE movie soundtrack for the rest of your life… what is it? And somehow… SOMEHOW… we end up spiraling into a full psychological breakdown about super moms, sleep schedules, and why it is deeply offensive when their husbands admire them too. Like sir??? You see her packing organic lunches at 5:12am and you’re im...

🎙️ Episode: “Say Something Nice or Remain Silent (We Spiraled Instead)” 📅 January 24 – Compliment Day This episode is sponsored by movie rentals, emotional damage caused by the 90s, and men who will never live up to Patrick Swayze. 🕯️💃🫠 We kick things off with a Listener Confession from Tina Green, who bravely admits that every time she listens to us, it directly impacts her husband’s bank acco...

🚨🎙️ TODAYS EPISODE: PURE CHAOS, ZERO ELEVATION REQUIREMENTS 🎙️🚨 On this episode of This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast, Jen and Ashten start by asking the hard-hitting question absolutely no one needed answered: what is the actual difference between a mountain and a hill 🤔⛰️ Spoiler alert: ChatGPT gets involved, feelings get hurt, and we decide it’s less about height and more about ✨attitude✨...

🚨🚨 WE DID IT. Our very first Listener Confession has entered the chat… and BABY, IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. We’re still recovering. Emotionally. Spiritually. Legally. From there, we spiral (naturally) into the Top 10 Reasons People Get Divorced and honestly??? We are CONFUSED how some of these couples even made it to the altar in the first place. Like sir… you hated her dog, her laugh, and her entir...

🚨 MONDAY’S EPISODE: ABSOLUTE CHAOS 🚨 TikTok decided to personally attack us with a trend that claims your entire year is predicted by the song that was #1 on your 10th birthday. Jen? Blissfully skipping through life with “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Ashten? Emotionally assaulted by “One Sweet Day.” So… that tracks. 🎶🫠 Then we spiral straight into a brand-new TLC experiment where normal people are...

🎙️ Episode Description: Well friends… YouTube put us in time-out and honestly? Rude. BUT WE'RE BACK!! This week we spiral (professionally) about our ongoing YouTube troubles, why scammers and catfish are thriving in 2026, and how technology has officially made everyone suspicious of emails, DMs, AND basic human interaction. We deep dive into generational communication differences—why some people c...

🎙️ NEW YEAR, SAME CHAOS 🎉 New year… new resolutions… same unhinged hosts. This episode Jen & Ashten absolutely spiral over our own New Year’s resolutions (spoiler: accountability was not invited). We break down the most common resolutions everyone swears they’ll keep (working out, saving money, drinking water 🙄) and then dive headfirst into the MOST unhinged resolutions we’ve ever heard—incl...

In this episode, the hosts discuss a variety of topics ranging from beauty trends and personal experiences with Botox to the significance of vision boards and journaling. They share their thoughts on the importance of handwritten letters and personal connections, before diving into a shocking kidnapping case that raises questions about parental abduction. The conversation also touches on the influ...

In this episode of 'This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast,' Jen and Ashten discuss the joys and challenges of Christmas traditions, the importance of friendship, and the dynamics of their relationships. They share personal stories, explore unique holiday customs from around the world, and reflect on the significance of maintaining connections with loved ones. The conversation is filled with humor, w...

🎙️ This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast — Episode Drop 🎙️ In this episode, Jen & Ashten spiral immediately and never recover. We start with a very serious adult problem: why windshield wipers only have “too slow,” “panic mode,” and “I guess we’re hydroplaning.” From there, we dream about luxury cars we absolutely do not need, complain about the audacity of car payments, and announce that in a p...

In this episode, the hosts discuss a variety of topics ranging from the excitement of new kittens to nostalgic millennial music and the emotional connections tied to favorite Christmas movies. They share personal stories about family traditions, holiday preparations, and the sometimes scary realities of the holiday season. The conversation flows into deeper reflections on music's role in processin...

Welcome back to the podcast where logic comes to die and chaos pays rent. This week, Ashten admits that crime scene photos have ruined her life because now she feels morally obligated to keep her house spotless in case she’s murdered and doesn’t want to be humiliated post-mortem by dusty blinds and a rogue Chick-Fil-A cup. Then we deep-dive into the existential true-crime crisis of: When someone g...

A snowball of chaos hosted by Jen & the perpetually over-caffeinated Ashten Hold on to your Santa hats, because this episode has everything no one asked for but desperately needed: • ❄️ The weather is colder than Ashten’s heart before coffee • 🐈 Jen’s cat pulled a “surprise! I’m knocked up!” plot twist • 🚗 Road rage confessions that will have the DMV reconsidering our licenses • 🔧 Car maint...

Hold on to your hats because today we are all over the map!  Our video is blurry and we're barely on the rails but we are here ready to entertain!

In this episode, the hosts engage in light-hearted banter about football, share amusing anecdotes about a cat attack, and delve into the emotional rollercoaster of planning a surprise birthday party. They reflect on personal milestones, discuss the significance of December for engagements and breakups, and explore the complexities of family dynamics in relationships. The conversation wraps up with...

Don't expect much from us today - we are in full self-care mode!  Get your face masks and lavender ready and laugh along with our ridiculousness!