This Is Why We Can't Have A Podcast!

🎃 **It's Halloween at This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast!** And while Jen is dressed as Sebastian from *The Little Mermaid* and Ashten is spreading the love in pink hearts, the conversation is anything BUT a fairy tale! 🦀💕 We're taking a trip down memory lane with our best (and worst) Halloween costumes, including questionable '80s plastic masks, handmade princess dresses, and some seriously u...

What do lottery tickets, Starbucks drive-thrus, Cleveland airport security, and Halloween costumes have in common? THEY'RE ALL TESTING OUR PATIENCE! 😂 This week on This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast , Jen and Ashten are back with another episode of completely unfiltered conversations, questionable decisions, and the everyday situations that make us lose our minds! Ashten has officially entered h...

Would you pay $350 to bring a FAKE BOYFRIEND to Thanksgiving dinner? 😂 Because apparently that's an actual business idea, and Jen and Ashten have QUESTIONS! This week on **This Is Why We Can't Have a Podcast**, we're diving headfirst into the ridiculous world of modern romance, questionable dating decisions, and the things that give us the absolute ICK. Ashten takes us on a people-watching advent...

A murder trial involving a former American Idol contestant turned pastor, a reported execution attempt that left everyone asking WHAT HAPPENS NOW?!, AI scams, TikTok investigators…and one husband whose love story nearly broke us. 😳😭 Welcome back to This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast , where Jen and Ashten somehow manage to go from true crime to Kiefer Sutherland, quilting, dating, catfishing, t...

Would you tell your best friend her outfit isn’t working? Jen and Ashten start with that dangerous question, then somehow end up revisiting “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board,” Ouija boards, cemetery scares, and the mysterious “black dog” stories truckers keep telling. Jen also brings a stack of stories involving a shopping scam, a roller coaster, and true crime. Add in a little AI panic and a...

Ashten has discovered that she may not be an empath…but she is definitely an anxiety empath , and TikTok has handed her the ultimate nightmare: explorer Ash Dykes preparing to take an inflatable kayak through the Congo surrounded by hippos, crocodiles, disease, and approximately 47 other ways to die. Then they bring us back to the important things in life: Sister Wives drama. Janelle is dating, Me...

We start this episode on a more serious note as we remember September 11th, talk about what it was like to actually live through that day, and wonder whether younger generations can ever really understand how much it changed everything. Then Ashten gets very real about grief, widowhood, and the comment that sent her over the edge this week: “You shouldn’t waste your life.” We talk about why being...

Jen is officially on probation for taking more than 24 hours to answer Ashten’s text , and apparently being busy building an empire is NOT an acceptable excuse when you’re on someone’s emergency contact list. 😂 After the friendship intervention, we get into the disturbing Mica Miller story and The Death of a Pastor’s Wife —the red flags, the allegations surrounding JP Miller, stalking, manipulati...

This week, we honor Dolly Parton the only way we know how: with questionable facts, a debate about who she ran to first in heaven, and the horrifying realization that Jen once thought she was married to Porter Wagoner. Then things take a darker turn when a prison nurse falls in love with a convicted murderer, moves him into her home, and gives us yet another reason to stop treating red flags like...

This week, we’re defending Ashten’s dirty socks from anonymous internet cowards, declaring a code-red financial diet, and celebrating some much-deserved Sister Wives romance news. Ashten adjusts to Emma leaving for college—until a perfectly timed FaceTime call proves she still loves her—and Jen gets extremely petty about Ashten’s love for Jay Shetty. Add trad-wife debates, Hollywood rabbit holes,...

We recorded an entire episode—and lost every ducking minute of it—so welcome to Take Two, where we attempt to recreate the magic while becoming increasingly unhinged. Ashten terrorizes two children who won’t stop predicting a plane crash, Jen blames Colorado’s lack of air conditioning for its murder rate, and ChatGPT accidentally kills off the wrong podcast host. Plus: Denver Airport lizard people...

Why does enrolling your child in the same school require 16 million questions—and exactly how incarcerated are we talking? This week, Jen and Ashten debate top sheets, freshly made beds, suspicious vines growing through light fixtures, and whether Brian Kohberger acted alone. Then Ashten takes us deep into her wildly specific TikTok algorithm, featuring Pentecostal fashion, true crime, dangerous o...

We’re celebrating one full year of podcast chaos with a $100 giveaway, undercover Disney princesses, and plans for the ultimate villain-themed Halloween. Then Ashten introduces Jen to Should I Marry a Murderer? , which naturally leads to questions about how much crime you can overlook for a six-foot-four Scottish Highlander. Plus, we investigate sanpaku eyes, Charles Manson conspiracy theories, ha...

This week, Jen and Ashten debate whether permanent daylight saving time would make everyone happier—or just force us to start work in the dark. Then the conversation takes an emotional turn as Ashten shares how Tobin is beginning to ask questions about his dad, grief, and why some milestones hit harder than others. They also dive into the wild case of a youth pastor accused of pushing his wife off...

We’re back in bed and officially switching to Fridays for the summer because weddings, college, cheerleading, Shrek and life in general have taken over. This week, Jen demands a ticket to see Garth Brooks while TikTok tries to turn his tour into a true-crime investigation. Then we break down the five types of friends everyone supposedly needs—and confirm that Ashten is less of a “comfort friend” a...

Happy Monday after the 4th! We’re still sipping Kiss on the Lips, still recovering from the weekend, and somehow going from patriotic sewing plans to Netflix recommendations, Yellowstone spin-offs, Little House on the Prairie reboot concerns, and the emotional damage of watching Toy Story across three generations. Then things take a darker turn as we fall into true crime and conspiracy rabbit hole...

We’re back, themed-ish, and kicking off July with a Carnival cruise classic: Kiss on the Lips. This Friday episode goes from social media trends we are officially over, to dangerous TikTok art, OOTD exhaustion, gaming rabbit holes, shallow dating pools, “sup beautiful” trauma, and the couple who decided the Empire State Building needed a little illegal romance. We also talk summer playlists, songs...

This week, we start with a very normal podcast warm-up: canoe near-death experiences, projectile vomiting in a kayak, and a toddler poop emergency that deserves its own hazard pay. Then we somehow pivot into Netflix’s Maternal Instinct , fake pregnancies, burner phones, narcissists, and why TikTok investigators may actually be scarier than the FBI. It’s messy, unhinged, mildly educational, and exa...

This Friday episode starts with post-Scotland jet lag, business catch-up chaos, and the discovery that Jen’s “old lady YouTube” may actually be ahead of TikTok. Then we fall straight into the disturbing rabbit hole of Timber Bowman, delusional stalking, spiritual advisors, baby reindeer vibes, and why technology has made being creepy a full-time job. Somehow, we also cover roller coaster rescues,...

We’re back from Scotland, and apparently all it took was castles, kilts, Outlander locations, confusing accents, and one very honest tour guide to nearly take us out. In this Scotland edition, we recap our senior trip adventure through Edinburgh, Inverness, Glasgow, castles, countryside, the stones that absolutely did not buzz, and the magical people who somehow tolerated us. We discuss our deep l...

Welp...this is why.  If you liked the title last week, you'll LOVE this week's episode!  To recap....aliens, weedeaters, cannibalism, Nancy Grace...need we say more? CONGRATULATIONS EMMA AND CLASS OF 2026!!

This week we start with a hat, somehow detour through quilts, graduation chaos, dirty soda bars, widow guilt, PTSD triggers, and TikTok judgment — then get interrupted by a man attacking the hedges. Honestly, very on brand.

Happy Friday, and welcome back to This Is Why We Can’t Have a Podcast . This episode starts with an alleged wife-for-boat trade involving frozen catfish and somehow spirals into chef-related crime stories, UFOs, AI interview scams, Great Value corn warnings, Taco Bell chaos, Criminal Minds connections, how to gird your loins, and why Anderson Cooper may or may not be an alien.

We’re back after a rough week, and this episode comes in hot with emotional whiplash, Monday morning tequila, widowhood honesty, dating disappointments, and a full breakdown of why adults need more gumption. Ashton opens up about loneliness, vulnerability, and missing the kind of companionship she had with Jake, while Jen brings the chaos with quilting updates, UK podcast dreams, Scotland plans, a...

This week, we’re talking secret-service connections, AI business makeovers, $41 million lottery dreams, what we’d buy if we won, and the old-money families who somehow lost billions. From the Vanderbilts and Astors to George Bush, streaming subscriptions, and our usual accidental spiral into death… this is exactly why we can’t have a podcast.