This Is Actually Happening

“It’s just terror, it’s just fear with no object…It’s so purely guttural and instinctive it’s almost like the prey of a tiger…the moment that it knows it’s about to be ripped apart.” Today's episode featured Neil Woods. You can find out more about Neil by going to neilwoods.net, where you can also find links to his two books: Good Cop, Bad War and Drug Wars, with more about his own experience...

“I felt like I went through a portal into this evil place…and I immediately knew that we were in a whole different world.”   Today’s storyteller requested to remain anonymous. However, if you’d like to contact her, you can reach out through email at foundatsea9@gmail.com   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Sara Marinelli   Episode Summary: Growing up evangelical in the Purity moveme...

“Because so much of my life when I’d seen things happening I’d been told that it wasn’t really happening, I think my brain kind of formed to think that reality was not real.”   Today’s guest requested to remain anonymous, but if you’d like to contact her, you can email at: kbojangles5@gmail.com.   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits   Episode Summary: A woman struggles to...

“What it felt like was - I am absolutely here, but this is not happening to us…This is not happening at all.”   Today’s episode featured John W. Evans. John is the author of three award-winning books. His poems and essays appear in  Slate, The Missouri Review, ZYZZYVA,   Poets & Writers,  and have been listed as Notable in  Best American Essays . He is the Na...

“I would look in the mirror and my eyes wouldn’t focus because it was like my brain wasn’t registering that that was me…I literally saw a stranger in the mirror.”   Today's episode featured Grace Hartman. You can find out more about Grace on Instagram @graceAhartman or contact her through email at grace@hartman.net .    Producers:  Whit Missildine   Episode Summary: Soon a...

“People who are grieving a serious loss, and you’re staring into the abyss, they understand intimately the loss that we are all going to face, what we all will see.” Today's episode featured Frank Vaughan. If you'd like to reach out to Frank, you can email him at  f.vaughan@verizon.net .   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits   Episode Summary: At the peak of his life, hav...

“I didn’t get a chance to know who I was or who I should have become, and I will never know that person.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits   Episode Summary: After a girl is saved from her abusive father, she finds solace in her mother’s protection, but when her mother meets a new man, an even greater menace threatens to take everything.    Social Media: Instagr...

“Now I know that half of me it’s a lie where does that leave me who am I who is this person it’s like you entirely lose your identity and I feel like I almost have to start again to figure out who I am because I lost it.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock   Episode Summary: A woman who always felt different is compelled to hold a shocking secret that could shatter the fam...

“If life is so fragile, death can come to you anytime any day in any place.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits   Episode Summary: A man who always felt like he didn’t belong in his own house wakes up one morning to a surreal tragedy.   Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2...

“All that stuff I went through, the abuse, the physical, verbal, everything was not rock bottom for me….Me realizing that I was being abusive to people I loved, that was my rock bottom.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock   Episode Summary: A woman struggles to free herself from the catastrophic consequences of an obsession with a man she cannot leave   Social Media:...

“I just thought this is not happening, like how could this be happening? This isn’t supposed to happen…I felt like it was my fault.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock   Episode Summary: An obstetrician must find healing and forgiveness after an unexpected tragedy opens old wounds.   Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening This Is Actually Happening Discussion Gro...

“It’s never given that you’re going to be here tomorrow or in the next hour. You’ve got to respect that and you’ve got to live your life accordingly.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock   Episode Summary: A man goes on a duck hunt with his friends, when a freak accident changes everything.    Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappening This Is Actually Happening...

“Is this really happening? Like, is this really my reality? I’m questioning myself as to whether or not I was crazy and had I really seen what I just saw.” Producers:  Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits   Episode Summary: Growing up in a strict, sheltered household, a woman must confront a new reality when her older sister, who was the glue of her family and her identity, begins to fall apart...

“We are not necessarily who we think we are…There are more paradoxes in life than things that make sense.”   Today’s episode featured Kim. You can find out more about her and her writings at her Myth and Medicine blog on Patreon: patreon.com/mythandmedicine    Producers:  Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits   Episode Summary: From the ashes of her own descent into severe mental...

“Time stopped while my brain was trying to catch up, and I was horrified I was confused I was bewildered I was panicked…just a wave of all of that came over me.”   Today’s episode featured Kate Solberg. You can find out more about Kate on Instagram @ka.solberg03 Producers:  Whit Missildine, Matt Volla   Episode Summary: After her first marriage falls apart, a woman has a second chan...

“I was like a walking dead. I was just a shell, but I couldn’t stop…my soul was gone.”   Producer:  Whit Missildine Guest: Kenneth Ginlack Sr.   Episode Summary: Growing up in the projects and a broken home, a man learns survive on the streets through dealing drugs and brutal violence, when a desperate moment leaves him with a choice that changes everything.  Today’s episode fe...

“My life is so much more fragile than I thought it was, and my existence goes beyond this tiny little place that I live in.”   Today’s episode featured Jenna. You can find out more about her on Instagram @jennajacqueline.   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: Breaking away from her childhood, a teenager buries a traumatic encounter in self harm, pushing her t...

“It just got too hurtful to think of him in the ground and me still alive…I couldn’t understand the meaning in it.” Today’s episode featured Hayley Ross. If you’d like to reach out to Hayley you can contact her at kattannie@yahoo.com.   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits   Episode Summary: Growing up in an abusive household, a woman struggles to find meaning in her life, when...

“I had no reference point of how to live or behave or anything….It was like this cocoon had been just ripped away from me, and I didn’t know what my beliefs really were.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A man searches to find love for himself and his family after facing the dark consequences of being disfellowshipped by the Jehovah’s Witness. Social Media: I...

“I honestly think that if the mom I grew up with hadn’t given me such a great sense of self-esteem, I don’t think I would have lasted as long under this current strange mother that I was now stuck with.”   Today’s episode featured Wren Feeney. Wren lives her life surrounded by pets and people who love her, and yet spends her free time writing horror. If you'd like to read her work,...

“I kept thinking there’s no way that God is going to let this happen to me…What could I have done in my life to deserve what’s going on right now.”   Today’s episode features Jessie Bains. If you’d like to contact her, you can reach out at jbains21@gmail.com .   Producers:  Whit Missildine Episode Summary: A woman growing up in a sheltered life with conservative parents is taken fro...

“It was like I was in a whole other universe for like five to ten minutes just walking around, like I couldn’t function, I didn’t know what to do.”   Today’s episode featured Miles. You can reach out to Miles by emailing him at Miles1357@yahoo.com .   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock Episode Summary: A man searches for healing after his father, a disgruntled post office wo...

“Your whole sense of reality has been shaken so much that you question what is even real any more.”   Today's episode featured Melissa. You can find more about her on Instagram @littleredmeli or on Medium, https://medium.com/@littleredmeli   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: Growing up in the Mormon church, a woman follows a structured path to love and ma...

“The best way I can explain how it feels to not be believed is just profound loneliness…To not know where to turn to seek advice or to get a hug, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.”   Producers:  Whit Missildine, Matt Volla Episode Summary: After her parents’ divorce a girl’s relationship with her mother tailspins until a shocking accusation throws everything into chaos. Website for Matt V...

Producers : Whit Missildine Episode Summary : Whit Missildine, host of This Is Actually Happening and The Long Shadow , and Dan Taberski, host of Missing Richard Simmons and 9/12 , discuss 9/11 and their approaches to their respective series honoring the tragedy. Today, as part of our series, The Long Shadow , honoring the 20th anniversary of September 11th, we bring you an interview between...