This American Ex-Wife: The Podcast

For the final episode of the season, I spoke with Eve Rodsky, the bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space: Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World. Eve came on the podcast to talk about money, divorce, marriage, and everything she’s learned about the state of the American marriage since publishing Fair Play . Thank you so much for making this season an incredible success...

When singer-songwriter Laura Benitez got married she didn’t expect to live out a country song. But she did. And she came on the podcast to talk about heartbreak, interracial marriage, and, of course, writing a song about it all. Laura Benetiz is a songwriter, lead singer, and founder of Laura Benitez and the Heartache. She has been making her mark on stage and screen since 2000. She spent several...

It felt like it happened overnight, I watched Rebecca Woolf , a writer and mom blogger I’d always looked up to and admired, go from modeling what seemed like a perfect happy family, to losing her husband Hal, to pancreatic cancer. Rebecca’s twins are close in age to my daughter, and I admit to having a parasocial relationship with her, admiring her, and even envying her a little from afar. But in...

In 1978, Greta Rideout was the first American woman still living with her husband to charge him with rape, which was a crime in only four states at the time. The ensuing trial and relentless media coverage brought the issue to the country's attention, but the fallout — which included an acquittal, a TV movie based on the case, and criminalization across 50 states over the next 15 years — was enorm...

When I first read The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward, my life was ruined. In it she writes, “...people cannot be rescued from forms of suffering that they themselves relate to as badges of honor.” And, “In no way do I intend to imply that couples should spend every minute together, but if we held straight couples to basic standards of good friendship—mutual respect and affection and a sen...

This season, we brought back my friend and the wildly talented author Morgan Jerkins to talk about sex, dating, love, and heartbreak all while reading your emails. Morgan Jerkins is the New York Times bestselling author of This Will Be My Undoing, Wandering in Strange Lands, and Caul Baby . A newly minted Brooklynite, Jerkins has taught at Columbia University, Princeton University, The New School,...

Census data indicates that while divorce rates are not rising, an increasing number of people are choosing not to marry. Some data shows that, in 2021, 52% of women in the United States were unmarried or separated, which is a record high. As more Americans opt out of marriage, what once was the traditional home (one wife, one husband, two kids and a live laugh love sign on the wall of a suburban h...

In 2019, 72% of same-sex divorces were between lesbians, meaning they divorced at about three times the rate of gay male couples. It’s a statistic that might, at first, seem alarming. But we all know better than that by now. Divorce is no cause for alarm. So what is happening in queer divorces? What forces of culture and expectations shape those unions? What pulls people apart? For this episode, I...

There’s so much from my conversation with Dan Savage that we couldn’t put it all in one episode. So for paying subscribers, here’s a bonus segment where Dan and I talk through the orgasm gap for heterosexual couples. Dan Savage, is, of course, the iconic podcaster and sex columnist. This season was generously sponsored by Funny Girls, which is a program run by the Harnisch Foundation that uses imp...

Dan Savage, the iconic podcaster and sex columnist, was on the forefront of the fight for marriage equality after seeing a whole generation of gay men die alone during the AIDs crisis, separated from their loved ones because they didn’t have the right to marry.  Dan came on the podcast to talk about marriage equality and the continued struggle for freedom in relationships. He asked me if I’m afrai...

Welcome back for the second and final season of This American Ex-Wife: The Podcast! This season was generously sponsored by Funny Girls, which is a program run by The Harnisch Foundation that uses improv to teach leadership skills to girls and non-binary kids in grades three through eight. You can learn more about its work here.  This season we will also have some paywalled episodes, so if you wan...

Last year, we made a 10-episode season of this podcast and we are so proud of how it turned out. And want to make one more!! Please fill out the survey to let us know the topics you want us to cover, the people you want us to talk to, ways to support the show, and any other ideas you want to share. We are listening. Here is a link to the survey! Oh and Lyz’s book is out in the world. Make sure you...

Surprise! Here are the first 10 minutes from the first chapter of my book, This American Ex-Wife. It’s a clip from the audiobook, which I narrate myself. I recorded the audiobook during a blizzard and an arctic freeze, and at some point, you can hear my throat start getting scratchy with a cold. I managed to get through with an ungodly amount of cough syrup. But it was such a pleasure to record. A...

In this episode, Lyz and best-selling author and journalist behind the popular newsletter, Burnt Toast, Virginia Sole Smith read your email and talk bodies, love, sourdough dads, and divorce. This is the last week to PREORDER your copy of This American Ex-Wife. Show notes: Read Virginia’s amazing newsletter Burnt Toast. Also, Virginia and Sara Petersen have an incredible podcast, “The Cult of Perf...

We want independence. We want respect. We want love and relationships. We live our lives trying to cultivate these qualities. But as Minda Honey points out, we also live in a world that doesn’t prioritize our wants. Less than two weeks until the book comes out! So preorder This American Ex-Wife . It’s the best way to support this work. Show notes: Buy Minda’s book The Heartbreak Years . It’s funny...

In the ancient play Lysistrata women withhold sex as a means of ending the Peloponnesian War. And the logic – using sex as a shaping force in marriages – is widespread both in self-help books and right-wing subreddits. Academic Donna Zuckerberg has written about the appropriation of the Classics by misogynistic groups and weighs in on Lysistrata, liberal men, ancient wives, and modern love. If you...

Aubrey Hirsch was in a hospital bed. She had just birthed her first child and found herself having to argue with a nurse over whether her last name Hirsch could be her child’s last name. In that instance and more, Hirsch shatters the notion that heterosexual parents have the same powers in the relationship. Show notes: Read Aubrey’s essay for Time about giving her kids her last name. Support Aubre...

Thank you to everyone listening and sharing this podcast! In our first five weeks, we’ve gotten over 33,000 downloads! Zach, my producer, and I are just floored! Okay, now let’s get to the show… As the stock market crashed in 1929, Ursula Parrot released her novel Ex-Wife . In it, the protagonist darts between the experience of sexual liberation and the ever-present sense of loss from her marriage...

Best-selling author Morgan Jerkins joins Lyz to read reader emails and give some frank advice and heartfelt insight to your divorces, break ups, and new lives. If you like what you hear, preorder This American Ex-Wife and subscribe to this newsletter. It’s the best way to support our work! Show notes: You can read more work by Morgan Jerkins by buying her books . You can also follow her on Twitter...

Marriage and divorce are not experienced the same way for men and women. The same is true for white and Black women. Sociologist Aneeka Henderson has written extensively about the marriage economy and the obstacles that limit opportunities even in marriages for Black people. If you like what you hear, preorder This American Ex-Wife and subscribe to this newsletter. It’s the best way to support our...

Poet and best-selling author Maggie Smith shares how her divorce made her spend more time with someone she didn’t expect: herself. She explains how she learned to leave room for that self even as she shares part of it in her work.  If you like what you hear, preorder This American Ex-Wife . It’s the best way to support this work. I am currently running a giveaway! If you preorder the book, I’ll ma...

“ Catharsis” with Candice Luter Many suspect that their partner is cheating on them. Few of us show up outside the motel room to catch them in the act. Candice Luter gets honest about insecurity, breaking and recovering after her ex showed who he really was.  If you like what you hear, preorder This American Ex-Wife and subscribe to this newsletter. You can listen to the podcast by clicking the li...

Lyz’s own divorce lawyer Allison Werner Smith stops by to walk through the long road of a divorce. She explains how “the breakdown of the marriage relationship” can become a firmer foundation for a life. If you like what you hear, preorder This American Ex-Wife . It’s the best way to support this work: https://linktr.ee/lyzlenz Show notes: In the show, I incorrectly cite this statistic about men a...