The Wicker Men

VROOM VROOM! I'M SO ANGRY, but I have to stop this cult. How easy is it to get out of Hell? Well, just drive out, can't you tell? This movie sure is swell. Nic Cage knows how to take a bullet in this action-filled film: Ghost Rid- uhhhhHHh I mean: Drive Angry!

What season is it? What SEASON IS IT?!

Magic! Science! Alfred Molina?! Be prepared for an adventure sure to SHOCK you! Buy a Tesla! No, no, not the kind of Tesla you're probably thinking of. Buy a Tesla Coil! Zip Zap Zagoo!

BAM! POW! KA-BLAM! Gather together, all ye superheroes, for a tale of heroism and scuba suits! Nic Cage becomes the Big Daddy for this one while other characters do other things! KRAK!

To the stars! It's Astro Boy HE-YAH!

Can I get my prescription? PLEASE?! Nic Cage is putting on his lieutenant pants in this drug-fueled, igauana-heavy piece of art from famed director Big Zogs! Wickedy-woo, we talk about a moo...vie!

Buckle up because we're about to go slow! Reaaaal slow. Reaaaaaaaaal slow. Some might say we're moving in... cruise control. Willem Dafoe!

Meep Meep Pip Squeak! These tactical guinea pigs know JUST how to infiltrate your... heart?! But oh no! A mole is afoot! No no no, I'm not saying that this mole is LITERALLY a foot! I'm saying that THIS mole is Nicolas Cage! WAAAAHHH 50TH EPISODE SPECTACULAR!!!

You claim to be Knowing what comes Next, but when you Face/Off against this Kiss Of Death, you'll be Bringing Out The Dead towards the City Of Angels in 8mm. Yes, it is truly Wild At Heart. Thank you.

What an ending... I guess its true what they say... Bangkok really is... dangerous.

A mysterious book... a *second* mysterious book... the kidnapping of the President... and... a drink of WHIS-KEY! Nic Cage is back as the famed treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates in a sequel that's sure to make you believe the moon landing was a hoax!

Magician. Trickster. Creep. You won't believe your earholes when you hear about what Cris Johnson uses his incredible powers for... and it's definitely *not* to hit on Jessica Biel... NOT! Ha ha!

Vroom Vroom! Nic Cage is here as Johnny Blaze pulling off the greatest stunt imaginable: this movie. Prepare for non-stop flames (and I don't just mean the film's romance!). Featuring special guest Christian Becker, this is one episode that comes at you with a... Vengeance?! Huh?!

We finally made it. The one this show got its name from. By the end of this episode you, too, will be wondering, "How'd it get BUUUuUuuuuuRRRRrrned?!"

Mustache? Check. New York City accent? Check. Maggie Gyllenhaal holding a watermelon under her blouse? Check. Three checks means its movie time! Hurray!

The Wicker Men are back from saving Santa AND Christmas! We hope you're ready for an "ant-imated" adventure like no other! What wackiness will ensue? Let's find out!

Jingle bells are ringing and trees and shining! The holidays are here, and for the Wicker Men, that means nothing but spreading Christmas tree! But what happens when they discover Santa Claus is in trouble? Well, let's just hope they can hop on the Wicker sleigh and jingle their way to Kringle Town! We're taking a break from the show. See you all in 2021!

What's the forecast for today? Oh... I don't know... windy with a chance of Cage? Yes! That's right! We're back to Cage movies with an absolute storm of an episode! Waaaahooooo!

Gord! Gordy! Did you get a job? Make your daddy proud.

He's an arms dealer with a whole lotta cocaine. That's right! It's Nic Cage back at it as the ultimate seller of weapons, but what else is he willing to sell? Let's just say Jared Leto and his inner dog is at stake. It's Lord of War, baby. Not of the Rings. War.

It's here, folks. Ultimate treasure "protector" Nic Cage will steal the Declaration of Independence in order to save it. You know the film. You love the film. We thought it was pretty good. Look at yourself. You're a National Treasure!

Can you even trust this description? It's all a con! Nic Cage learns a LOT about trust in this film! There's no fire, but there are Matchstick Men!

I'm talking to you through the episode description. How meta! Ha Ha!

Cage gets behind the camera to direct James Franco's adventures as a gigolo in the Crescent City! Listen as Franco's mother performs a flawless Louisiana accent, and observe the wonders of Nic Cage's short time on screen as "Acid Yellow." What an episode!

A secret language. A hidden code. Perfect disguises. Our dear Nic Cage can talk to people, but can he talk to the wind? You tell me. It's Windtalkers, baby!