The Weekly Inventions Of Dr Splatterjacket

Do you watch videos of people making food on your phone and never make them? Of course you do, you should be watching recipes on your spoon, that will make making things much better for you. Get your SpoonBeam now!

Are you using a tumble dryer to dry your clothes? Do you have to take your clothes from the washing machine and then have to peg them on the line? Then you need DryWash, get your clothes hanging inside the washing machine.

Do you get bored while shaving? Then you need FunFoam the completely integrated shaving foam and gaming experience. If you haven’t played pacman on your face or legs then you haven’t lived. I can’t believe you haven’t got it already.

Are you as boring on phone calls as I think you are? Then you need Connectopedia in integrated video phone call device and learning tool. Learn about everything from Ancient Egypt to Toilet Paper. Get yours before your next call.

Is your car a boring single colour? PageCar drives for you so you can use your time while travelling to draw on the inbuilt tablet which updates the outside design of the car as you are moving along. Your car is a drab antique in comparison, get PageCar today!

Do you find yourself out and about unable to find the time to get that extra exercise into your routine? Then you need FitTape it attaches you to any lamppost or bus shelter and immediately makes you a) much fitter and b) a little less likely to make the bus on time so you have to run all the way to work making you even fitter. Get yours today.

When was the last time you were making a note in your notebook when you suddenly spilled something and you had to ruin the notebook to clean up the mess? Probably yesterday or this morning, but that doesn't happen to me because I have NoteMop.

Do you ever get board of reading everything on screen? Not anymore because with PrintRead you can print out what you are reading and read it on paper! It’s the future!

When it is raining do you get wet, when instead you could hide in a bin? Of course you don't because hiding in a normal bin would be silly, but with DryBin you can stay dry and use it as a bin at the same time!

When you are travelling do you find yourself with too many different documents? Why not get the MapPort which is a combination Map and Passport, that immediately reduces your number of documents by one (if you are still using paper maps).

Do you have water flowing through pipes in your house? What would you do if one of those pipes suddenly sprung a leak? The FlowHammer not only immediately detects the leak, but allows you to just hit the pipe with the FlowHammer and it is fixed. The question really is why you don’t have one.

Is your nose hair too long and needs plucking? Do you potentially have Asthma? Then get the WeezyTweezers for all your nose based breathing issues (as long as they are either too much nose hair or Asthma).

When you go on holiday do you find it difficult to locate your luggage on the carousel? Do you wish your luggage tag could contain all of your photos? Then get TagVault and you’ll have at least a 10% better holiday than everyone else!

Wakey Wakey… Are you sleepy and tired? Then you need BrewLather for the ultimate inside and outside coffee experience!

Have you never had your holiday destination set by a glass that determines your ideal holiday based on your beverage selection and your DNA? Then you haven't lived. Get StayGlass before that next holiday decision.

Do you need two tiny micro vibration dishwashers attached to your sunglasses when picnicing? If you said no then you are lying and so I don't mind not selling you DishShades. For everyone else order them now!

Do you have trouble with people not understanding your long rambling stories? Imagine if they were accompanied by incomprehensible diagrams and were recorded for posterity. Everyone needs that right? Get EchoBoard today!

When you prepare for bed do you suddenly panic worrying that you aren't keeping up with the latest trends? Of course you do! Get TrendBed today and be informed and snoozy.

Are you seriously telling me you don't need a combination electric saw and backpack? Of course you do, and you know it. Order your SawPack ASAP!

Do you have endless lists, and no way of organising them? Of course you do! You need to get SmartFolder today!

Do you sometimes need to hear things from far away (when there aren't loud noises)? Then you need Enhearencers! Very useful and with only a significant chance of deafening you.

Does your ruler do an adequate job of measuring distance but totally fail to keep you up to date on the latest happenings around the globe? Of course it does, because you don't have NewsRule!

If you need to keep a drill close at hand, there's no better way than the DrillButton! A drill right there on your wrist!

Measuring distance maybe get a ruler, measuring temperature maybe get a thermometer, measuring both? Get the ThermoMeasurer today!

If your gardening gloves are mucky and you desperately need to cut your hedge then I can tell you don't have a ShearWash! Get one!