The Virtual Couch

There’s a lot of talk in the news of narcissism. Many people in powerful positions, i.e. politicians, actors, CEOs of large companies, appear to be impervious to the thoughts of others, often being praised for their ability to put their heads down and power through, letting nothing get in their way. And while this may get them ahead in their chosen professions, it can be absolutely devastating to...

Day is night, night is day! For most of us, we need a bit of a reason to get out of bed in the morning, whether it's heading to a job, getting the kids ready for school, or to head to an early exercise class at the gym, or meet a friend for breakfast. Unfortunately with the "shelter in place" order still in place, and social distancing the norm many people are finding themselves sleeping in later...

As we continue to shelter in place, quarantine, spend more time in closed quarters with our loved ones, the need for productive communication is even more important. That's why Tony felt it imperative to dust off the basics of psychologist Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. EFT is the evidence-based couples communication model that shows 70-75% of couples move from distre...

If you're human, you've experienced worry. But sometimes it can be more difficult than others to set those worries aside and continue doing what you need to do to move ahead in your life. In today's episode, Tony discusses the article "I'm a psychologist, and these are my top 8 tips for distracting yourself from overwhelming worry" by Erin Bunch from Wellandgood.com. https://www.wellandgood.com/go...

Can memories be implanted? What would you do if smoke began billowing from underneath a door and everyone around you acted like nothing unusual was happening? And could you spot a gorilla running across the screen while you were focusing on people passing a ball between one another? Most of us, if not ALL of us would most likely say that we'd run out of the room, or that we'd absolutely notice the...

Dr. Mary Wilde is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and mother of 8 who spends a lot of her time helping people decrease anxiety during anxious times. It’s fair to say that with the continuing information regarding COVID-19 coming from all angles these are truly anxious times. So what can you do to keep your own anxiety and fear in check? How does grounding yourself help put you in a better...

With things changing rapidly thanks to the spread of COVID-19 and the Coronavirus, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to know exactly what to do, how to do it, and for how long? But one thing that remains a constant amidst the chaos is people are flocking to stores for their toilet paper and bottled water...even when they have plenty already on hand, or have filtered water on hand via thei...

With the continued information about the coronavirus coming in almost by the minute, two things have remained consistent...wash your hands long enough to sing the ABC song AND don't touch your face! But for most, simply telling one to not touch their face leads to more face touching, oftentimes significantly more than they would have had they never been instructed to not touch their face in the fi...

Author Tina Fuller joins Tony to talk about her book "It's My Turn" https://amzn.to/2ImIMtk which details her experiences in growing up with a narcissistic mother. The interview covers personality disorders, signs of narcissism, and the negative effects of growing up the child of a narcissistic parent. Tina also shares how to heal from the issues that arise from being raised by a narcissist. Tina...

Simply put, psychological reactance is the instantaneous response that we have when we're told what to do. In business it is often called "change resistance" and in parenting, it's typically referred to as, well, "kids!" Reactance can also be described as "reverse psychology." But why does it flow from us so instantaneously? Why, in some situations, can someone even be telling us something that wo...

When Ginger Hahn, the founder of Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates' daughter was only 6 days old she had an intestinal bypass. According to Ginger, "It was the worst 2 weeks of my life in that hospital. Walking to the cafeteria every day I would walk past the oncology pediatrics wing at Sutter Sacramento. I was grateful to not be on that wing with my baby but so many kids were. I want to do this to give...

Lora Abraham, LCSW and a former high school classmate of Tony's, uses EMDR to treat clients who present with a variety of types of trauma. What is EMDR? From the EMDR Institute :  EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that...

For many, a faith community, or religious congregation, is a safe place to return regularly to be spiritually fed before heading back to an often chaotic world. But what happens when that previously “safe” community begins to feel like a place where one is no longer welcome? Is the problem with the individual, or with the community, or congregation? If you are a parent to someone who is experienci...

Many of us know what Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is, and we associate it with people who have come back from war, or who have experienced traumatic events, or accidents. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD is a type of PTSD that garnering much more attention lately thanks to all we're learning about the long-term effects of trauma from people in power. Examples of C-PTSD can...

Plenty of well-meaning people in our lives try and motivate us by saying, "Just choose to be happy every day!" But why, then, isn't it that easy? Why when many people try and choose to be happy, do they actually end up feeling worse? If you've ever experienced this, then please know that you're not alone. As a matter of fact, you're in the overwhelming majority of people that struggle with trying...

All or nothing...He’s ALWAYS late! She NEVER asks me about my day. The kids will absolutely never, ever, no matter what I say pick up after themselves (OK, that one might actually be true). Do you always find yourself using extreme black and white or all-or-nothing thinking? Are you never able to find the good in a moment and be fully present (see what I did there?). Chances are most of us will fi...

In Dr. Steven Hayes’ book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Dr. Hayes shares some research that shows how quickly you can begin making progress using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The study evaluated how ACT helped people cope with chronic pain, one of the most difficult conditions to treat. After 4 sessions of ACT, the participants in the study...

Dr. Shelly Hoover is a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and friend. She’s a veteran, author, educator, and advocate. It’s what she does. It’s who she is. In 2013, her neurologist told her that she only had two to five years to live. After a year of trying to figure out what was slowly happening to her body, Shelly was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig’s d...

One of the popular messages shared by both therapists and media alike is that we are supposed to be in complete control of our own emotions before, or even IF we then turn to others and that it is necessary to love yourself first and only THEN will someone else be able to love you. But according to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of the highly successful evidence-based couples therapy model, Emotionally...

Have you ever been scared by a friend? Chances are your first, or primary emotion, was fear! That's perfectly normal, after all, you're human. But what emotion follows after the initial fear response? Do you get angry because your friend scared you? Where did that anger come from? Was it because you were actually embarrassed that you dropped your phone, or that you let out a string of curse words...

Physical attraction may be enough to initially bring a couple together but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional inti...

In today's episode, Tony tackles the popular article "How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain To Be Anxious And Depressed," from the Daily Health Post https://dailyhealthpost.com/complaining-brain-negativity/ - This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want...

Allison Carlson (IG: @allisonbailey1 ) is more than a social media content creator, aka an “influencer,” she is also a wife, a future doula, a woman who has suffered through multiple difficult miscarriages, a survivor of betrayal, anxiety, depression and cutting, mother to a beautiful “rainbow baby” named Given, and yet someone who is also willing to be open and vulnerable in hopes of making a dif...

It’s New Year’s Resolution time! Does setting resolutions, or even talking about resolutions, in general, bring feelings of fear, or excitement? In this episode, I weave acceptance and commitment therapy into 5 evidence-based ways to make your resolutions stick once and for all! Learn how your values must drive your goals, or else you’re just giving yourself more rules to follow, and ultimately br...

Tony talks stages of change using the Transtheoretical, or Stages of Change Model referencing an article by Kendra Cherry https://www.verywellmind.com/the-stages-of-change-2794868 Discover the 6 stages of change and where we typically get stuck on the path of changing troublesome or unwanted behaviors. And Tony mentioned he'll be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on Janu...