Dumb-Dumbs & Dice
The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG
The Valentyne Heresy: A Warhammer 40K RPG is a Dumb-Dumbs & Dice live-play podcast where professional voice actors and improvisers journey into the grim darkness of the 41st millenium - playing the Genesys adaptation of Warhammer 40K's "Dark Heresy" TTRPG! Join Inquisitor Lucius Valentyne, and hive-bred siblings Lyric and Alto, as this unlikely trio try to save the Emperor from a cabal of mysterious enemies! This series features our Game Master Tom McGee (@mcgeetd), and regular players Ryan LaPlante (@theryanlaplante), Tyler Hewitt (@Tyler_Hewitt) and Laura Elizabeth (@lauraehamstra)! Dive in...
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Episodes
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.26 - The Eternal Contract 09.07.2026 43:36
The agents, Gue’vesa gangs, and Kroot laid siege to the central dome that housed Aun’o Artemis, fighting Fire caste warriors, drones, and a Crisis Battlesuit. Damien unleashed warpfire, Solomon threw photon grenades to disorient the Tau warriors, and Morgan used her smaller size and nimbleness to deftly move through her enemies as she attacked. Solomon dealt the killing blow to the Tau inside the...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.25 - The Gue'vesa Rebellion 02.07.2026 44:29
Brother Solomon informed the Vespid of Aun’o Artemis’s betrayal of the Tauva and of his illegitimate claim to his position. The Vespid said they would determine the truth of his corruption, and would kill Solomon and his people if it was in fact deception. Excella Rhodes, Spartacus, and the Agents decided on their plan of attack and Solomon informed the Vespid through the helmet they had given him...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.24 - Test the Stinger 25.06.2026 49:57
As the agents made plans to challenge the Ethereal, Spartacus heard how Morgan spoke of xenos and he no longer trusted her to help the Kroot find a way off the planet. Solomon, however, considered his alliance with the Kroot to be sincere, and promised to help them. Spartacus took Solomon to treat with the Vespid, but as they approached the Hive, it seemed to be emitting harmful radiation. Damien,...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.23 - The Hive of Silent Death 18.06.2026 49:30
The agents returned to the Kroot dome, Spartacus summoned Tau that might be sympathetic, and Stevius left to round up Gue’vesa leaders to discuss the current situation. Morgan showed the Tau Romeo’s recordings of the battle and the bodies they had found in the woods. The Tau were hesitant to accept duplicity within their ranks, but accepted that unintentional mistakes may have been made. The agent...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.22 - Unintentional Mistakes 11.06.2026 51:14
The agents fought off the last of their Tau ambushers. Solomon had a troubling sense of a desecration within the cave, and upon investigating, they discovered the bodies of Gue’vesa, Kroot, and a few Tau, all of which had been there since around the establishment of Fontus. Spartacus then arrived, and after explaining what had happened, all evidence pointed to the theory that the people who had go...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.21 - A Troubling Desecration 04.06.2026 51:59
The agents found themselves isolated in the woods, ambushed by Tau in stealth battle suits. Solomon quickly discovered that the weapons that had been provided to them by the Tau had been sabotaged, Morgan tried to drag Stevius to safety but couldn’t entirely avoid him being hit, and Damien drew on the warp to alter the flow of time around some of their enemies to delay their attack. They focused t...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.20 - Ambushed 28.05.2026 48:39
The agents selected their weapons and boarded transport to the site of the Great Hunt, accompanied by Stevius, Romeo, and Whistler. They set down in a forest at some distance from the other teams and fanned out to search the area. As they approached a cave mouth in search of wargs in the area, they were suddenly set upon by gatling gun fire emanating from a stealth battle suit. Featuring players D...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.19 - The Great Hunt 21.05.2026 1:02:28
In the final rounds of the contests for the right to join the Great Hunt, Stevius miraculously beat Excella Rhodes at regicide and cleared his debt with her, and Damien handily won his contest of warp manipulation. Back at the Kroot camp, the agents were welcomed more fully into the clan. Solomon shared the teachings from his bible with the Kroot and had Damien transcribe additions from the Kroot...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.18 - The Chapter of the Kroot 14.05.2026 55:36
Having created their own Gue’vesa gang with the Kroot and Stevius Funkhauser, the agents prepared for a contest to prove their worth and join the Great Hunt. Having dressed in the style of the Kroot, they met with the other gangs, and were instructed to choose their individual contests. Morgan won her sharpshooting contest handily, but Solomon’s unarmed combat went awry when his opponent was mista...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.17 - The SFU of the Kroot 07.05.2026 49:47
After their meeting with Aun’O Artemis, Damien was reeling, but Morgan managed to bring him back to himself by invoking the unwavering cheerfulness of Valentyne. Outside the dome, Solomon was approached by a Tau, who informed him that he could ask any drone about the fall of mankind and the Emperor, but Solomon found the idea laughable and the others didn’t correct him. After failing to get access...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.16 - On the Fall of Humanity 30.04.2026 47:32
Morgan and Damien received electoos to access to the entire hamlet of Fontus and recited the Tau Oath Allegiance, renouncing allegiance to the Emperor, while Solomon refused. After getting a primer on how to behave, Morgan and Damien gained an audience with the Ethereal, Aun’o Artemis, and came away with more information than they expected: the Tau appear to be capable of faster-than-light travel...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.15 - An Audience with the Ethereal 23.04.2026 49:01
Though the agents panicked at the approaching red eyes, the Kroot child who came in with Morgan identified the animals not as wargs, but as Kroot hounds. She shooed them away, but the runt, “Whistler,” stayed behind and Solomon befriended it by feeding it scraps. They decided to get electoos in order to gain an audience with the Tau Ethereal, but Solomon declined when he realized he would have to...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.14 - Friends of the Kroot 15.04.2026 53:28
The Inquisitorial band were led by Stevius to meet the Kroot. Solomon agreed to their leader, Spartacus’s, offer to share a meal with him. When the meal turned out to be a human torso, the band hesitated, but realized they had little choice in the matter, so they all ate and Spartacus agreed to sponsor their stay on the planet Vorix. Only when Morgan returned to meet Damien and Solomon as they tur...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.13 - The Heart of the Hunter 09.04.2026 55:04
The Inquisitorial band, disguised as Ministorum priests, landed on the planet Vorix at a bustling hamlet. They were disturbed to see autonomous metal beings moving around, and Damien especially was overwhelmed by the xenos strangeness surrounding him, though Solomon managed to calm him down. Stevius led them through a security checkpoint, where the Tau were courteous and welcoming, and they were g...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.12 - Welcome to Fontus 02.04.2026 52:52
Morgan escaped her pursuers from the bar, and the Inquisitorial band boarded Stevius’s ship on the way to the Tau-infested planet Vorix. On the way, they debated what else they could offer their smuggler other than the auramite Aquila pendant he was expecting as payment. Having come to no agreement, they took Stevius up on his offer to play regicide and turned their game into a wager. Damien won t...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.11 - Double or Nothing 26.03.2026 48:19
The planet Vorix has been infested by Tau and the agents have been tasked with removing them. Morgan, Damien, and Solomon donned their disguises as Imperial preachers and boarded the Janus II space station to meet their contact, Stevius Funkhauser, and procure passage to Vorix. Hoping to pay him less than his asking price, they plied him with drinks first, but when Morgan realized the bar didn’t t...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.10 - The Galaxy’s Luckiest Charmer 19.03.2026 52:11
The Lucky Strike re-entered the Warp, and Morgan informed Solomon and Damien that they were in greater danger, but did not relay that the danger was now in the form of the Alpha Legion. Avarice briefed them on their next mission. The Tau had inexplicably established themselves on an Imperial world and blockaded the planet against a small force of Imperial ships. The agents have been tasked with re...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.09 - The Body Remembers 12.03.2026 51:35
The crew of the Lucky Strike was becalmed for 137 days. Solomon and Talos Ivo discussed Solomon’s Book of Ezekiel, and Damien in turn spent time with Solomon discussing his own, official, bible. Valentyne and Morgan spoke via astropath and the Inquisitor revealed that the code word was in fact the war cry of the Alpha Legion. As a precaution, Morgan then arranged to record the genetic sequences of...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.08 - Failure Is Not An Option 05.03.2026 51:13
Solomon had Talos Ivo sanctify his auramite-infused xenos glaive by inscribing symbols onto it that represented his companions. Avarice learned that the captain of the crew that attacked them and abducted the Judge was Libertine Morwith, a human who was raised in Drukhari captivity and escaped to become a rogue trader. They decided not to pursue the Judge, having no idea where he went and trusting...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.07 - Sanctus Fortus Unus 26.02.2026 55:23
Damien questioned Morgan about the auramite aquila necklace that CL053T had made, and she revealed that she had requested it for Damien to wear because of auramite’s anti-psyker properties. Morgan reviewed the symbols on the intruders and realized that they were Drukhari runes that were altered purposefully to be offensive to a Drukhari. CL053T reported that repairs to the ship would take 114.3 da...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.06 - Becalmed 19.02.2026 47:53
Morgan, Damien, and Solomon discussed the findings from their initial investigations into the recent incursion aboard the Lucky Strike. They decided to keep a human watch on duty at all times. Solomon used stimms to stay awake during his first watch, and when he couldn’t sleep later, Damien had him sedated. Morgan privately asked CL053T to used some of their auramite to fashion and aquila medallio...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.05 - Damage Done 12.02.2026 50:40
Morgan needed answers about possible tampering in Avarice’s brain, but CL053T wouldn’t permit Talos Ivo to perform a scan on the Savant, so Morgan asked CL053T to do it instead and the scan revealed no anomalies. She then asked Talos Ivo to explain his religious doctrine, determined that his benefits outweighed the risks, and ordered CL053T to dedicate some of his time to giving the Mechanicus the...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.04 - Motive and Opportunity 05.02.2026 47:58
While the intruders were sucked into space through the open airlock, Morgan, Damien, and Solomon managed to hang on until Talos Ivo secured the seal once more. They got a brief look at the enemy ship before its cloak engaged, but with a damaged engine, the Lucky Strike was stuck in place for now. Once Avarice was set free, the savant revealed that his bifurcated brain had allowed the intruders abo...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.03 - The Bifurcated Brain 29.01.2026 50:08
With Judge Rex nowhere to be found and Morgan injured and poisoned, Brother Solomon and Damien continued to fight their way out of their room. Damien unleashed a powerful blast to eliminate most of the intruders in their immediate vicinity, a gun servitor cleared the rest, and CL053T pointed them in the direction Morgan had been taken and secured Talos Ivo. Morgan managed to shake off the effects...
Agents of the Inquisition - 2.02 - Full Potential 22.01.2026 47:21
The Lucky Strike was boarded while its crew slept. Morgan awoke to an intruder in her room who seemed human, but moved like a Drukhari. The strange being claimed she had abducted Judge Rex on behalf of a client. Damien and Solomon discovered the door to their quarters had been welded shut, so they began tearing through it with weapons and warp fire while trying to make contact with anyone else abo...
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