The UnlearnT Podcast

Send us Fan Mail We unpack how single leaders can stop pausing life for marriage, ditch social media comparison, and embrace vulnerability and contentment now. We share money truths, healing tools, and stories that free us from performing a smaller self. • calling out highlight reels and faux honesty online • defining motives: celebration vs proving • replacing comparison with contentment practice...

Send us Fan Mail We share how choosing a partner as a leader starts with self-knowledge, honest community, and shrinking the list to core values. Ruth Abigail walks through leaving a Velcro situationship, reframing online dating, and finding a partner who frees her to lead. • priorities in early 30s: debt freedom, home buying, career growth • writing and community work building emotional clarity •...

Send us Fan Mail We question why middle adulthood feels less free and unlearn the idea that single leaders must prove worth through nonstop achievement. We reframe purpose from output to identity, practice shared leadership, and learn to pray like children who bring God everything without polish. • the tension between family-first culture and constant achievement • overworking as a single leader a...

Send us Fan Mail We dig into the rhythms of rest for single leaders, why “always on” culture masks pride and fear, and how Sabbath realigns identity from performance to presence. We name escapism and avoidance, and we offer practices and people that help you take the cape off. • why rest is a command and a gift • the loneliness and pressure of single leadership • unlearning work-first discipleship...

Send us Fan Mail A faith-filled love story moves from a college class pairing to a covenant tested by recession, a house fire, and an autism diagnosis, and rises into purpose as two attorneys build a family and a firm rooted in prayer. We close our season with gratitude, hard-won clarity, and a living template for a second act. • God as matchmaker guiding a campus connection into covenant • “Jesus...

Send us Fan Mail We map the journey from porch rules and legacy expectations to a crash that rewrote the plan, then to a comeback that finished the old vision and opened a bigger calling. Faith reframes pressure as privilege, and mentorship becomes a lifelong vow to build others. • growing up third in a namesake line and guarded by a praying grandmother • crossing the tracks into private school an...

Send us Fan Mail We trace Mikayla’s journey from crowns and depression to surrender, purpose and a swift second act marked by peace, service and marriage. A locked door opens, a pill bottle vanishes and a new life begins as we unpack belonging, exposure and the power of a full yes to God. • small-town accolades masking depression and emptiness • the search for mattering versus popularity • a suici...

Send us Fan Mail We trace Catina Parrish Clark’s journey from insurance to education to chaplaincy and pastoring, exploring how obedience, formation, and care shape a faithful second act. We share honest lessons on leaving the familiar, guarding your soul, and leading from presence with people. • salary cap and tuition as guidance signals • discovering a teaching gift and learning God’s voice • sa...

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Send us Fan Mail We go live to name the weight of leading through hard seasons and offer practical ways to endure with hope, clarity, and integrity. We unpack how to recover from mistakes faster, re-categorize relationships, and reinvest in the vision without burning out. • defining enduring leadership and long faith • guarding inputs, language and circles • year‑end discouragement and resetting h...

Send us Fan Mail Ruth and Jaquetta dive into the cult classic "Love & Basketball" as they kick off their summer series examining movies they had to unlearn from, breaking down the film's problematic messages about relationships, identity, and success. • Analyzing the movie in quarters, just like the film's structure • Unlearning identity limitations - you don't have to...

Send us Fan Mail We explore situational leadership with clear lines between crisis control and season-long guidance, naming the hero trap, burnout, and how to build trust, culture, and vision by developing people. Practical tools include better questions, motivation cues, and when to let safe balls drop. • definition of situational leadership and core traits • when authoritarian direction fits eme...

Send us Fan Mail We unpack transformational leadership through real stories, moving from identity and belief to sustainable action. We name the strengths, blind spots, and boundaries that keep charisma ethical and growth-centered. • defining transformational leadership and its core pillars • coaching belief before behavior using the be do have model • individualized consideration and long-term loy...

Send us Fan Mail We unpack transactional leadership—why it feels natural, where it works, and when it fails—and show how to pair it with relational styles so people and performance both thrive. Clear goals help, but autonomy, mastery, and purpose keep teams engaged and growing. • definition of transactional leadership and its roots in school rewards • where transactional systems fit: scale, sustai...

Send us Fan Mail We rethink servant leadership, tracing how values shape style, when closeness empowers, and where boundaries keep service from becoming control. We compare servant and transformational modes, test historical examples, and offer practical pivots for sustainable leadership. • values driving leadership styles and choices • definition and core traits of servant leadership • inspire ve...

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Send us Fan Mail The autocratic leadership style, often misunderstood but sometimes necessary, provides clear command and control when building something new or navigating through crisis. • Autocratic leadership is marked by a self-appointed, self-governing style where the leader maintains full control • This leadership style produces explosive results when there's no time for democratic proc...

Send us Fan Mail We explore the democratic leadership style, examining when this collaborative approach works best and when leaders need to pivot to different styles for effective team management. • Democratic leadership involves consulting with team members and valuing collaboration • This leadership style works best with highly skilled, experienced team members • Leaders must properly prepare te...

Send us Fan Mail Jaquetta Ross joins us to debunk common misconceptions about Generation Z in the workplace and shares insights from her 12 years of working with this young adult population. • Gen Z is often mischaracterized as entitled, naive, and lacking work ethic when they actually crave mentorship and genuine connection • They're exceptionally good at recognizing authenticity and will re...

Send us Fan Mail In this candid conversation, host Ruth Abigail speaks with Taniya Adams, a college student she has known since third grade, about the unique challenges and perspectives of Generation Z. • Finding identity amidst social media's influence and the pressure to know your purpose early • Learning it's "okay to be not normal" and breaking free from the exhaustion of t...

Send us Fan Mail In this candid conversation, Ruth Abigail welcomes back musician Savannah Brister to discuss the realities of Gen Z, information overload, and navigating creative entrepreneurship in today's digital landscape. • How Gen Z is perceived: either as exciting innovators or as the generation that will "take us down" • The overwhelming nature of constant information and ho...

Send us Fan Mail Pastor Deon Byers shares his decade of experience working with Generation Z, revealing what today's youth truly need from adults and how to build meaningful connections that transform lives. • Mentorship matters – Deon’s own life was transformed by an adult who showed him a world beyond his environment • Today's youth aren't fundamentally different from previous gen...

Send us Fan Mail Worship leader Darnell Moore unpacks the tension between following industry strategies and Spirit-led ministry in gospel music and church leadership. • The challenge of creating sustainable ministry while remaining faithful to God's leading • Using the metaphor of an exercise ball versus a lazy boy recliner to illustrate the tension between stability and Spirit-led flexibilit...

Send us Fan Mail Link to Darnell’s episode on Unlearning Marriage:  https://open.spotify.com/episode/0cRfDyy6EqqfTWewDvXs7Q?si=oOHrilbERvqC7KONjgSlEg Darnell Harris joins us for a special conversation about the tension between industry success and spiritual authenticity in worship leadership. • The episode was prompted by a controversial podcast featuring Norman from Tribl Records discussing his i...