David Schmoot
The Unauthorized Autobiography of David Schmoot
This is not the tidy, triumphant memoir of a hero overcoming adversity. This is the play-by-play of a human being stumbling forward in real time. No lessons. No morals. No personal growth. Displayed are David’s deeply personal triumphs, seismic regrets, little wins and large humiliations. Every story is true and in chronological order so as every questionable decision bleeds into the next, you’ll witness the slow, chaotic construction of a personality. This is the Unauthorized Autobiography of David Schmoot.
Author
David Schmoot
Category
Podcast website
Latest episode
Jul 9, 2026
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Episodes
Chapter 12 - Christmas Morning 1986 09.07.2026 8:19
Sucker punched by Santa. Song: Last Christmas by Wham https://open.spotify.com/track/2FRnf9qhLbvw8fu4IBXx78?si=43f296875f61404e
Chapter 11 - White Out 16.06.2026 10:45
Pretty near death experience. White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes https://open.spotify.com/track/0GegHVxeozw3rdjte45Bfx?si=2aaf5bd0c2a543ad
Chapter 10 - Monster Under the Bed 28.05.2026 9:41
My younger, sexier self. Song: Shame Shame Shame by the Stones https://open.spotify.com/track/0l5i2lHBBB1UqFg44HSMuF?si=941784f978ae4462
Chapter 9 - The Stairs 28.04.2026 8:35
Punishing your children and yourself.
Chapter 8 - Mountain Don't 13.04.2026 9:17
Never get into a pissing contest with your brother. Song: The Hollies "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother." https://open.spotify.com/track/2ooZajrDL4Com6ZUW736le?si=97af91b98b614817
Chapter 7 - Piano Lessons 16.03.2026 8:31
After school lessons. Song: Moanin' by Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers https://open.spotify.com/track/4Vkk3iD1VrENHJEACNddvt?si=cb190791b36548bb
Chapter 6 - All School Massacre 03.03.2026 12:32
The genesis of being terrified of public speaking. Song: Leonard Cohen "Hallelujah" https://open.spotify.com/track/7yzbimr8WVyAtBX3Eg6UL9?si=68ff4fb18ddb40d5
Chapter 5 - Lazy Eye 03.03.2026 8:47
It's not a wandering eye, it's a lazy eye. Song: X-Press 2 (featuring David Byrne) "Lazy" https://open.spotify.com/track/2IhsxXGKDltJu5PCA8yExZ?si=bf4e889a555b4ed4
Chapter 4 - It's a Boy! 03.03.2026 7:31
Bathrooms in airplanes. Song: The Cowsills "We Can Fly" https://open.spotify.com/track/4mf07kgBgBt4nChjn5M9SE?si=99cb47ad954345e0
Chapter 3 - Opening Day 03.03.2026 7:34
McDonald's comes to town. Song: Yacht "Psychic City" https://open.spotify.com/track/4NWpGwfkWMlA7G2ZpFKDXZ?si=15063b67324f4f59
Chapter 2 - Bed of Death 03.03.2026 8:30
If you were an adventurous child, you should not be alive. Song: Red Simpson "Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curve." https://open.spotify.com/track/7Am294mTThMXQF1ol3zylX?si=6199cadfcff24349
Chapter 1 - Sermon Baby 03.03.2026 6:50
A baby in church. You may think you know how it ends, but you don't. Song: Norman Greenbaum Spirit in the Sky https://open.spotify.com/track/1RrdiG35aqA1mjceM2Wm90?si=3ab5bc5bac204579
Listen to This First 03.03.2026 3:40
Start. Hear. Song: Kevin Morby's Excellent City Music https://open.spotify.com/track/09Ch1J59rlCnAv5ojS77XJ?si=360c449b43f54f56
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