The Therapy Gents

Send us Fan Mail Ep. 051 Self-Compassion Self-Compassion = Way of relating to the self kindly and accepting who we are and how we are. The 3 elements of Self-Compassion are: 1. Kindness; 2. Common Humanity; and 3. Mindfulness. In other words - It is a loving, connected presence with self.  Self-Esteem = Global evaluation of self, increases the thought or belief that I have to be special, research...

Send us Fan Mail What keeps people stuck in a job they don't like? Is it the job or is it me? - Dealing with situational mental health  Turning Self-sabotage into Self-promotion. The following is a short list of things that can keep us stuck or trapped in a position we do not want to be in: fear of rejection, self-doubt, perfectionism, perceived lack of opportunities, loyalty to company or bo...

Send us Fan Mail Today's episode features several questions from all of you! Michael and Andy both gathered questions on social media to do a mental health Q&A. If you would like to toss a question into the mix for our next Q&A episode, feel free to email them to actioncounseling@gmail.com

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode Michael and Andy break down some dating advise! First date advise, red flags, goals to consider and more. Dating can be daunting and finding a balance between putting your best foot forward and being yourself can be difficult but we're here help!

Send us Fan Mail In this episode Michael talks about how the traumatic things of our past does not need to determine our future. Michael makes some references to the book series "Fablehaven" and also a slogan from the book "1984" which read (and was paraphrased in the podcast) "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." Mic...

Send us Fan Mail CS Lewis - “I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross - “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will n...

Send us Fan Mail Ep. 045 What Healing from Trauma Can Look Like E.E. Cummings - “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” Why is it hard to talk about trauma?  Bessel vdK said that “traumatized people are not popular people because they remind us about how irrational society is and rational solutions can not take care of those traumatized.” There had been too much shame around t...

Send us Fan Mail Marcus Aurelius - “You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” What are some common signs of trauma?  Hypervigilance, hyper- or hypo-arousal, avoidance behaviors, flashbacks, memory problems (fragmented or suppressed), dissociation, dysregulated emotions, relationship problems, addictions, self-harm, low self-confidence, shame, ANT...

Send us Fan Mail Why use daily tools or do daily activities?  Aristotle - “Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” Epictetus - “There are certain things you can control and certain things you can not control, and you must know the difference.” Serenity Prayer - “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,...

Send us Fan Mail Selflessness vs Selfishness  What am I planting in my mind? Screens, news, friends, family, books, ect (Garden Metaphor) Do I know my parts and how they operate? Protectors and Exiles (Parts in daily life vs reactive parts vs wounded parts). Self - inherent healing capacity, soul, inner wisdom, spiritual, a state of being.  If you feel like you hate everyone - eat If you feel ever...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode Michael and Andy break down the 2nd half of the Courage to Be Disliked. They focus primarily on an Adlerian concept of the "Separation of Tasks" and the value that comes from accepting the reality of other people disliking you. True freedom in interpersonal relationships comes from accepting this reality.

Send us Fan Mail Today Michael and Andy discuss the book "The Courage to be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. This classic book of modern philosophy has been highly influential in the lives of many and today they break down why.

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode Michael and Andy break down the complexities that arise with mixed faith marriages and share several tips! 1. Differentiating between beliefs and values / focus on what has not changed  2. “Negotiating the Tenders” / compromise  3. Be patient and take it slow 4. Give space for each other to mourn - talk about what that looks like from both sides  5. Remembe...

Send us Fan Mail In today's show Michael and Andy share their favorite metaphors they use with clients in therapy. Brace yourself- these metaphors may contain cheese. 

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode Michael and Andy tackle several topics & questions in mental health and give quick responses to each of them!

Send us Fan Mail Voltaire - “Better is the enemy of my best.” Friedrich Nietzsche - “He who has a WHY to live for can bear almost any HOW.”  Common Types of resolutions:  -The Holy Trinity of Mental Health - Exercise, Nutrition, and Sleep -To quit something -Financial Goals -Family Time -Travel -Learning or Personal Development -Organize and Declutter  University of Scranton’s Journal of Clinical...

Send us Fan Mail Six Types of Boundaries: Physical, Sexual, Intellectual, Emotional, Material, and Time. Some Codependent Red Flags: Saying yes to everything (overextending yourself), neglecting yourself and your needs, avoidance, rescuing others from the problems they created for themselves, excuse making for others, if something happens to someone else you feel like it’s happening to you, taking...

Send us Fan Mail Title: Adult Friendship Navigation Book: The Science of Stuck by Britt Frank, LSCSW Chapter: 6 The Sticky World of Friendships and Dating Questions about friendship: What constitutes an adult friendship? What roles do you want friends to play? What toxic friendship myths have crept into your belief system? “Friendships can be fraught with difficulty because the roles we want our f...

Send us Fan Mail Key aspects of a good therapeutic relationship: Trust and Confidentiality, Empathy, Respect, Validation, Boundaries, Genuineness and Authenticity, Flexibility, Unconditional Positive Regard (Carl Rogers), Able to identify Transference and Countertransference, Congruency, Clarity and Understanding, ect. Key focuses of therapy: Goal or Solution Focused, Encouragement, Psycho-educati...

Send us Fan Mail Homer’s epic ‘The Odyssey’ is full of amazing metaphors and symbolism for life today.  Odysseus and the Sirens:  Gains knowledge from the sorceress Circe. Protects his men from temptations.  Desire for more knowledge, tied to mast, underscores the need for self-discipline. The need for restraint. Gains knowledge of his own weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Types of Sirens in our day...

Send us Fan Mail Quote: Seneca - “It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it.” Why are the holidays so great, but cause so many problems? Who shows up to the holidays? The Oversharer (aka The Dirty Laundry Dance) The “I can do that” relative The Criticizer The Ultimatum Maker The “I’m so busy I can’t talk” (aka The Avoider) The “Why aren’t you married yet?” old perso...

Send us Fan Mail Quotes:  Socrates - “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Aristotle - “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Epictetus - “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.” Seneca - “He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary.”  What does self-discovery really mean? Why does it matter to understan...

Send us Fan Mail Carl Jung - “What we resist, persists.” Drew Boa - “Sexual fantasy is an attempt to rewrite reality in our lives in a sexual way.” Background on porn on how treatment used to work vs now.  Cycle of addictive behavior Questions:  Did I, as a little kid, find porn, or did porn find me? In what ways do I use fantasy as a protection? Sexual Fantasy: Fear into safety Shame into glory L...

Send us Fan Mail Dr. Amit Ray, “Mind is a flexible mirror, adjust it, to see a better world.”  He also said “The true essence of meditation is not in the technique but in the quality of your presence. It’s about being fully present and aware in each moment.” Meditation as a daily practice brings a long list of positive benefits: Anxiety and Stress Reduction, Increase of Concentration or Focus, Imp...

Send us Fan Mail Quote: Carl Jung - “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” Brief history - CBT can be traced back to the early Behaviorists like B.F. Skinner in the 1950's. They would track observable behaviors and use desensitization techniques, exposure therapies, and the like to work with anxieties and ne...