The Teen Commandments

Welcome TC crew! You know the saying “you’re only as happy as your least happiest kid”? Well, it’s been a gold star week for Sara and Clare at TCHQ. It’s a momentous time for loads of parents and teens across the UK as GCSEs, A-Levels & Highers are afoot, bringing an end to school runs and crazy teenage morning routines.  Plus, there’s talk of school awards - why does the same kid always win e...

Sara & Clare go through your emails, letters, stories and confessions about parenting teens and your own naughty teenage years.   One mum’s been accused by her teen of having a “sex party” and a dad’s been in touch, potentially trying to chat-up Clare, which has sparked a whole new reality show idea.  Meanwhile, another listener has had risotto night rudely interrupted by her teens starting WW...

Find a space, get comfy, help yourself to drinks… Sara and Clare are here for you, trying to tackle even more bonkers teenage behaviour.  This week Clare’s been woken up by her teenage daughter with an ultimatum and Sara’s son has grimaced when she’s gone in for a hug.  Sara and Clare reminisce on their own teenage bedrooms, and the ‘aesthetic’ demands from their own teens.  There’s talk of sex to...

More of your mind-blowing gob-smacking stories and confessions in this week’s Teen Commandments, Your Turn! A listener shares the heart shattering pain of hearing the worst 3 words that can come out of your teen’s mouth. Talking of mouths, there’s a proper “noooooooo” story about a teen’s 18th birthday party. Plus there’s chatter about love bites, Easter egg hunts and accidental drug smuggling. Em...

Sara Cox & Clare Hamilton are back in the shed with more tales of mind-foggling teen behaviour.  Sara and her husband had a romantic weekend away which meant her teens were given a tedious TED talk on how to lock doors and feed cats.  Clare’s son has accused her of spamming his phone and Sara’s connecting with her son through the medium of badly angled gym videos. And why do teenagers decide t...

Emails from Teen Commandments disciples have been plucked out of the inbox for Sara and Clare to share with the world.    There’s talk of Imperial Leather and Old Spice for the parents whilst the teens demand the serums, acids and oils to fuel their skincare obsessions.    A listener’s lost her ruler, only to discover her boys have been using it in the bathroom! Another listeners’ son has demanded...

It’s not been a glamorous start to the week at TCHQ! Clare’s been playing the role of both referee and nurse with her teenagers, and Sara’s taken to sleeping on the sofa.  It’s exam season so the offspring are in revision mode and big compromises are having to be made, from clearing out garages to postponing trips.   There’s been public PDAs in front of cringing teens, Professor Clare has another...

More hilarious tales of teenager behaviour, courtesy of your fabulous emails.    One dad has done a ‘deal’ with their teen to avoid them both getting into big trouble. Teen Commandments listeners want to know why teens don’t open curtains & what do they actually do at the gym? Plus it’s official, we can send a popstar into space, yet no parent will ever solve the mystery of the wet towels.   ...

Heroes, Hikes & Public Rows   This week Sara and Clare strike a pose as they become beauty influencers - kinda.    Another man makes an impression on Clare on the train, but not in a good way.   There’s booze free shocks, teens hiking in slippers (& no socks), underbum management and public transport meltdowns as Sara and Clare navigate entertaining the teens during the Easter hols.   Emai...

Your Turn goes international as Sara and Clare open up the email inbox via Cyprus and Manchester. Sara’s on sunscreen duty, treading the fine line between trying to protect the teens without being a nag, whilst Clare’s method involves her flashing a crinkly body part and shouting “see!” There’s pornaggeddon for one shocked dad and toilet etiquette is back with a vengeance - one story quite literal...

This week’s Teen Commandments  comes with an all-inclusive buffet and sea views. Sara is on holiday with two teenagers, feeling thoroughly left out of the gang, whilst Clare is back in the Manchester salon, where she refuses to do any teenagers hair. Asides from hair and holidays, Sara and Clare want to know where all the hair bobbles go? How do teens create a tangled mess with every electrical wi...

Single parents have assembled! They’ve flooded the Teen Commandments inbox with messages of support and coping tips for those who go from being full-time parents to childless at weekends.    On a less touching note, there are more tales of drunken vomiting! We hear from a mum who has accidentally plied her daughter with shots, while another parent wins the award for ‘the world’s most resourceful s...

Sara & Clare’s strict health regime has come to end so they’ve excitedly tumbled off the wagon to discover they’re now complete lightweights.  This week Clare’s caught the eye of yet another man on the train and Sara’s worked out the easiest way to keep teenagers happy. Spoiler alert, it involves hard cash.  Sara & Clare open up about their experiences of being step-parents, navigating wic...

The email inbox is back open and it’s full of corkers! One listener discovers her daughter’s bold new piercing - self inflicted & not even in her ears, another’s room was so messy the police presumed it had been burgled and one confused lad has a question about teachers and sexual positions. Oh and it’s official … (well according to one TC listener) having teens is as demanding as having a new...

This week Sara & Clare discuss the ins and outs, quite literally, of talking to teenagers about sex education. Brace for condoms on bananas, vibrators, orgasms, and the serious matters of sexting and body shaming. Away from the PHSE chatter, there’s revelations of teen parties, houses being trashed & emergency services being called. Outside of the podcast, it’s been a busy week for Sara an...

It’s all about you babes, as Sara & Clare read more of your brilliant teen emails.  Toilet tales continue and a mum highlights the noises you get whenever you ask your teen to do anything. Sara and Clare ponder why teens ask the most ridiculous questions about the simplest of things? Plus, there’s talk of rumpy pumpy pleasure, a son’s SOS from uni and party confessions. Oh and remember the cri...

Sara and Clare discuss the shopping items their darling offspring demand and Clare reveals her brilliant way of controlling her teens’ alcohol consumption. Who is the bad cop in Sara’s house? And how does Clare navigate being the only sheriff in town? Meanwhile, Sara & Clare have been doing more media this week, and it’s not as glamorous as you may think.  Plus, Sara reveals the huge Hollywood...

The Teen Commandments inbox is bursting open again for your chance to dish the dirt on your precious teenagers.  This week a dad has solved the issue of teens slamming doors, a teenager has demanded to know the full details of his conception, whilst another proudly announces they’ve “found a pube”. Sara and Clare’s quest to try to solve the ‘Bruh’ confusion continues and Teen Commandment’s favouri...

This week, Sara discusses celebrating her teenage son’s birthday. She shares the one (quite vital) thing missing on the night… Driving lessons are on the agenda too, plus Clare shares the VERY clear guidelines her kids have put in place for any mum taxi moments. There’s also a throwback to the bad old days of permed fringes, blue eyeshadow and shell suits. Oh, and watch out for Sara & Clare’s...

Sara & Clare are diving back into your teen tales.   One listener shares how her son’s obsession with protein has led to a poultry-based ban.   Another mum admits her teens are sending her round the u-bend with their lack of toilet etiquette.   And once again ‘procrasti-wank’ returns. Will the podcast ever escape it?!   Email us at  hello@teencommandments.co.uk    Follow us on Instagram: @djsa...

Warning! This week’s episode contains a totally cringe confession of a mother's desperate need for attention from her teenage son.  To prevent their teenage daughters looking like new members of the Pussycat Dolls, Sara and Clare attempt to enforce the ‘clothing rule of 3’.  Meanwhile, there’s talk of sex toys, £90 polyester dresses, swearing at Alexa, and Tom Cruise even gets a mention.  Email us...

Your Turn: Bum Sticks, Mumbling and ‘Bruh’   It’s time for listeners’ emails and – as ever – they don’t disappoint.    This week a mum reveals the cringe conversations she’s had about wet dreams.    One listener has had enough of the wet towel situation and taken matters into her own hands.    Clare attempts to remember some science she once read about testosterone surges in teenage boys, whilst S...

There’s been some accidental arson in Sara’s house and she’s on a mission to find out the culprit, meanwhile Clare reveals her parenting fail to tackle her teens swearing.    Clare and Sara ponder why teenagers can’t close a car door properly and this week they’ve learnt not to push a dental floss stick through your belly button piercing.    Meanwhile, Clare’s been eyeing up men on the train and f...

It’s time to open the inbox again in this week’s ‘Your Turn’ to hear from those battling in the teen trenches.    This week a mum reveals the most irrational and crazy purchase ever made by a 14 year old!  Teen Commandments invite Sara & Clare under the bed and into the world of crusty tissues and teenagers ‘personal time’. Plus they discuss the brilliant naivety of teenagers when they discove...

Sara & Clare discuss getting into BIG trouble at school… why was Clare summoned to the headteachers office with BOTH of her kids in tow? Sara reveals the weird names her mum had for private parts. Why do teenagers insist on ruining family photos? And remember when the world went wild because Julia Roberts had a hairy armpit.   Keep sending in your hilarious emails for ‘Your Turn’ episode, out...