The SelfWork Podcast

Trigger Warning: We're talking about sibling sexual abuse in this episode. The links for sexual abuse hotlines are below. I’ve had so many guest interviews on SelfWork – really wonderful researchers and authors, therapists and thinkers. But there’s something very special about someone coming forth to share their message when they’ve learned something the hard way – and they want to help others...

Hello my friends! This September (2023) we're giving away two(2) copies of a little book Christine Mathias and I worked on called Marriage Is Not For Chickens . A post by the same name, when it appeared in HuffPost, earned over 200,000 views and over 50,000 shares... Wow! (Of course, I didn't get a call to be on a morning talk show... lolol) This book may take you two minutes to read becau...

We certainly have had – and the world has had – our fair share of reasons to grieve. Wherever you live, you felt the fear and loss of the pandemic. Add on to that, the impact of hurricanes, tornados, drought, fires, floods,  war, racism, political unrest, violence… we’ve got it all - some countries more than others. But these events are also a backdrop for whatever happens in our personal lives –...

I was shocked to see this past week that I'd never done an episode on the four most well-researched communication patterns that can predict a couple will divorce or end their relationship.  And I talk about them in couples therapy all the time! These four have been written about extensively by the well-known pair of researchers John and Julie Gottman – and I think their work is right on target...

I’ve long been one to say to someone who’s paralyzed about the direction they see their lives going in or goals they want to achieve – experiences they want to have – to say, “Why not “and?” After they look at me kinda funny, I’ll explain. “Why can’t you be a plumber and a painter? A mother and an ad exec? That’s what this week's SelfWork guest has accomplished. She’s an internal medicine doct...

When I received an email about this new book, I knew I wanted to talk with its author. The book? The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control. The author? Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google. She's worked with many high-achieving women who are told they need to find "balance" - as if they're doing something wrong! Katherine tells u...

During my research on last week's episode on post partum, I learned that my own state of Arkansas holds the #1 spot in the US for maternal mortality rates. I'm interviewing Dr. Zenobia Harris today, whose accolades in this field are numerous to try to understand what's not happening in Arkansas that needs to happen - and what states are doing it right and how. Dr. Harris heads up the A...

There are many times that work with my own clients sparks a podcast episode – and this time, I needed to look at what had been discussed in the literature since I saw my last client with postpartum depression. Because I had another – and her depression was severe. The moms I’ve seen with PPD have all been different. Some highly anxious but unable to function due to that anxiety along with a bad de...

I wanted to offer you the advice and very creative teachings today of Becky Blades – she founded and sold an award-winning communications firm, she’s basically run from the board room to the home room, she’s an artist herself, and she’s an inspiring and highly creative author of two books; Her first book,  Do Your Laundry or You’ll Die Alone, Advice Your Mom Would Give if She Thought You Were List...

Today we’re going to focus on high-functioning depression. What is it? What’s it not? Is it dangerous or is it not? And what does that mean anyway, ‘’high-functioning” depression"? It’s still depression, isn’t it? It’s the newer term for what’s “properly” called Persistent Depressive Disorder, which used to be called before that, Dysthymia. Maybe it’s a little sexier to call it ‘high-functioni...

I wasn’t feeling so hot yesterday so took a time-out day and watched " Shrinking", the Apple TV series that has a superb cast and follows the lives of three therapists and their friends and families. It’s full of expletives, especially the f bomb. Which is fine by me but there’s wasn’t one person in the cast who didn’t explore its complete usage… It’s also very moving. And I was relieved t...

When I was contacted by Paulina Siegel about being on her podcast, Shit Talking Shrinks , I was intrigued. She and her friend and colleague Victoria Aron are in Season Two of an hilarious, fresh challenge to the stereotype of the "therapist" - someone who's emotionally calm and somehow "above it all." So this is an expletive-filled SelfWork episode today - because guess what? T...

Increasingly, I’ve noticed a trend in how people are describing “having fun” – and so much of that time, what they’re doing is scrolling thru TikTok or Instagram – Reddit  or Quora – or any online communications app. Even people who are actively struggling with depression will tell me how the major way they “distract” themselves is through focusing on what they can find on their screens.  This......

Today I’m offering something different for you. No commercials. Just me and you talking. I’ve said before on SelfWork that I’ve seen so many people become paralyzed in their decision -making about what course or direction they should follow. Hopefully, through my own story of discovering my own potential, you’ll get a taste of what I’ve learned works – which is to simply “go.” Go in a direction –...

I wouldn’t wish borderline personality disorder on anyone – it’s a truly difficult and chaotic way to live life. Yet it’s just as difficult to be in relationship with someone who lives their life on an emotional roller coaster. Today we’re going to focus on how you can set boundaries with folks who have borderline traits (I’ll also go over the traits themselves). We’ll focus specifically on having...

There are some people who can take the most difficult situations and find the humor in them. Cathy Sikorski is one of those people. I met her several years ago at a midlife bloggers association meeting and became an instant admirer. She's written a blog for years dedicated to examining the hard and hilarious life of caregiving, which she's done herself for the last twenty years. In additio...

This interview focuses on suicide prevention so please listen carefully. Here are the international suicide prevention crisis numbers (USA is not 988). I want to read you the first part of the email I sent to our guest today for SelfWork. "Katrina good morning. I’m the host of The SelfWork Podcast and I just saw the CBS Sunday Morning interview about your mom, the way she died, and your action...

There are a lot of mental illnesses that are characterized by intense emotion which then governs behavior, such as in bipolar disorder, major depression, or several personality disorders. But even it it’s a pattern, and not an actual mental illness, it may mean that you don’t have the skill to regulate your emotions – to have control over them instead of them over you. What does this look like? Yo...

Today is an episode filled with your questions and my answers – one of my favorite things to do here on SelfWork! So today the topics are enmeshment, the difference between playing a role in someone’s life and having a relationship, and five ways to deal with defensiveness when you’re trying to have a conversation with a parent about the past. Great topics and questions! And I’m sure many of you c...

We’re going to be talking about the last two major mental mistakes or bad habits that can either lead you into depression or be a factor in your depression worsening or sticking around. And those two are over-generalizing – meaning taking one experience or one piece of knowledge and applying it to everything - or what can be aptly described as "not seeing the trees for the forest." And the...

The excitement of shedding pounds. The disappointment of gaining them back. Deprivation as a way of life. Dieting is a merry-go-round…minus the fun. Whether this describes you or someone you care for (friend, family member, child, patient, client), it’s a real issue for too many of us today. Yo-yo dieting reveals a terrible reality: most Americans are alarmingly misinformed about what to eat, when...

This month is Mental Health Awareness Month, and as SelfWork has been named one of the ten top podcasts for depression by VeryWellMind for 2023 – I wanted to focus on just that. Depression. I’m pulling from a talk by Dr. Michael Yapko, an expert on depression, as he lists the five most common mental mistakes that people struggling with depression tend to make – those mistakes can cause depression...

In the month of May, which is Mental Health Awareness Month, we’re focusing on five different mental habits that you can have or adopt that either worsen depression, create depression, or are part of a relapse occurring. Last week, we focused on what is termed “internal orientation” – meaning that you fall into the habit of believing what your depression is telling you, either through your thought...

Sometimes the very decision on what to talk about here at SelfWork seems difficult, as the possibilities are endless really. And since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I wanted to do something special – although any month is mental health awareness month for me! To help get me organized, I turned to an old teacher of mine who’s an internationally known expert on depression - Dr. Michael Yapko...

I love answering your questions and hearing your comments! In fact, it's one of the most favorite things I do here on SelfWork! Sharing perspectives is more than welcome.  Today I'm answering two listener voicemails: One is on the topic of what exactly IS vulnerability... is it a choice you make - to be vulnerable? Or is it a state of being,  where your vulnerability is something that need...