The SelfWork Podcast

Last week SelfWork focused on what fear has to teach you – what it may lead you to think, feel, or experience. And this week, I want to talk about panic, panic disorder, and how you can listen to, learn from, and work with panic. If you’ve listened to SelfWork for a while now, you probably know that I experienced my first panic attack when I was in my late 20’s. Having them changed my life – I tho...

I remember my dad telling me that the main thing he feared in life was to have a heart attack when he was still young. His dad had had that happen and it killed him when my father was only a teenager. My dad, when I was 16, had a heart attack. It didn’t kill him but I so remember the look in his eyes, one of acceptance but also one of demoralization. He lived until his early 80’s but his life chan...

  I was honored to offer a TEDx talk this past year in Boca Raton, Florida. It's entitled  "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression," and in it, I describe clients I've seen who'd never have seemed depressed to anyone around them. Two in particular are featured: one tried to take her life; the other came in well before that happened, but admitted he'd also had thoughts...

I’ve stayed away from the topic of forgiveness here on SelfWork. Why? Because the word itself means very different things to different people – especially due to your culture or religious belief. But this week, I received an email from a listener that was so poignant AND was about forgiveness, that I’ve decided to talk about it, I've learned that there are emotions that are are important to ac...

“My feelings were hurt” is a phrase very commonly used. We even use it when we talk to our children.  “Did someone hurt your feelings?” It’s kind of interesting when you think about it. Instead of asking, “What happened and how are you feeling about it?” and helping your child sort out their exact feelings, we lump them all together. Many of us carry that lumpy mess of “hurt feelings” into our adu...

I’ve pulled what is the most downloaded episode of SelfWork’s history today because I've had to step off the stage again in my work to allow my body and mind to heal. Two weeks ago, I was in a huge hurry, bounding down my staircase, talking to my husband over my shoulder, in my clumsy Uggs boots – and I managed to pull off a head over heels tumble down the steps, eight or nine of them – and la...

So many of us are living "what if" lives, meaning that we're not looking at the present and for opportunities that might be right in front of us. Instead we're worrying about the "what ifs" or "what if nots" of the world. And that can keep you in a constant state a perpetual indecisiveness. Of course, foggy thinking is a part of depression and worry is typically a h...

Norman Lear is someone whose work, talent, and creativity I’ve admired for a long time. I've used an interview that he gave before he died as my inspiration for this episode, when he said about his own mortality, "It's not the going... it's the leaving that's hard." So today on SW, we’re going to focus on endings and grieving and three facets of grief that may be surprising...

When I heard the name of the book my SelfWork guest - Rachel Marie Martin - has written, I knew I wanted her on the show. What's the title?   Mom Enough: Inspiring Letters for theWonderfully Exhausting but Totally Normal Days of Motherhood (Dexterity, September 26, 2023). In it you'll find greatly affirming letters written for moms at various stages of motherhood, from the melancholic to t...

You’re getting back (or will be soon) to the office or to work or school.. and you start hearing about what everyone else did over the holidays. Maybe you’ve already seen stuff on social media that seems to tell their story. Maybe you’ve scrolled Instagram reels or watched hilarious TikToks. Your own life may shrink in comparison - especially if you're living in fear. That's the topic for...

  Today we’re going to focus on how the inner child model of therapy has been used and what exactly does it mean. Simply put (which to me is always the best way), how much does a client realize and connect with the idea that their past is influencing their present. I’ll offer a story about how that connection is made in therapy if it has not been so far. It’s definitely something that many struggl...

I've never laughed harder than in this interview with the self-proclaimed "failfluencer" Erin Diehl! Erin is a Top 1% podcast host, Founder & CEO of improve it!, and one of the most electric keynote speakers in the world, using her work as an improvisational actor to teach you and me how our bodies are trying to give us messages about the healing that needs to happen. She's bee...

I received an email from one of you that saddened me. It opened with, “Listening to today’s podcast has left me feeling more hopeless than ever .” Hopelessness. Feeling despair. And its counterpart – helplessness, which is believing that nothing can be done to prevent what’s happening - are two of the worst feelings of depression, and two of the ones non-depressed people often can’t seem to unders...

One of the reasons why many people suffer during the so-called “holiday” season is because it’s the first - or one more of many holidays - that they’re actively grieving a loved one’s death within the last year or even farther away – and they cannot seem to work through their grief enough to want to step back into life. Into living this moment that’s right before them. I tuned into a Hidden Brain...

Here at SelfWork, we focus on what you can do about it - right? I preach and I encourage all of you to figure out the one thing that’s in your control and make a change that will help you with your sense of wellness. Like all of you, I laugh at memes and try to take myself with a grain of salt. Usually, I think I’m pretty good at this… but not the last few weeks. I’ve been in the dumps. So today w...

  I’m so excited about this new SelfWork sponsor and I’m doing something a bit unusual and letting you know about it today! Because they have a Black Friday double discount offer that’s sensational – and I wanted to quickly pass it on to you! The product is moonbird.. Used by over 25,000 people in Europe, moonbird is the world’s first, tactile breathing coach designed to fit in the palm of your ha...

As TikTok has taken over the world of social media throughout the last few years, many psychological trends have become increasingly popular, and could be more harmful than helpful. Glowing up, bed rotting, and lucky girl syndrome are only three of the harmful effects the so-called "psychological help" on TikTok and other outlets can bring - and we have a fantastic expert here today on Sel...

Out of curiosity,  l listened to an older voicemail this week. It was from "this time last year." How many times have you said that to yourself, "This time last year I... " Maybe the end of that sentence is joyful. Maybe it's sad. But it's an exercise in self-reflection - which is the topic for today's SelfWork.  This particular question is a  sort of time travel in you...

Today we’re focusing on your choice to be transparent and how it can be important in your mental health. Self-transparency. Think of it like this – if you put a lot of energy into covering up – into not allowing anyone to see your own struggles. There can be repercussions from that. You’re living in fear of being known – of being seen. What are you so afraid of people seeing? And what would have t...

  Talking about narcissism has become somewhat of a national pastime in the US at least. Everyone is calling someone who used them or who they felt manipulated by a narcissist. And perhaps they are – or were. But what exactly is narcissism and how is it different than healthy self-esteem? Is it on a spectrum or can it ever be helpful?  Is it necessary to have a bit of it to have self-confidence? ...

I could think of no better way to continue this 8 th season of SelfWork than to feature your questions and comments! Whether you communicate through email or voicemail or through my website contact form, YOU are the lifeblood of SelfWork. Yes, it’s true I often use what my own clients either have gone through or are going through as my “inspiration” for these episodes. Yet hearing from you means s...

Come celebrate with us! SelfWork is having its seventh anniversary so we're celebrating by bringing on the whole team! Please join me, Christine Mathias and John Crowley for a completely spontaneous conversation (which you'll be able to tell...) about our topic for today - the seven year itch! (Sounds appropriate don't you think?) I'm offering seven ideas (keeping in the swing of t...

October is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Month. SelfWork has never focused on this very difficult disorder, often affecting children who are what's now called "neurodivergent" but in the past, have been unjustly stigmatized as "lazy, stupid, or crazy" which was finally described in 2006 for the actual processing difference it is in the now classic bo...

John Crowley, my audio engineer/editor extraordinaire, chose this episode this week as I'm getting back from vacation. My gratitude to him for many, many things! But he gives you some info on what this episode's message was for him and what I hoped it would be. Today we’re focusing on the mind/body interaction – how your brain processes physical and emotional pain – as well as a brief touc...

I have such a fantastic production team in Christine Mathias, my communications manager, and John Crowley, my audio engineer. And so I want to thank them for pulling the next two episodes off for me while I'm on vacation with my family! This was Christine's choice as one of her favorites, and she introduces this week's episode in this "second time around" listen. The focus is o...