The Science of Staying Together

Week 3: Bids, Turning & Active ListeningGottman followed newlyweds for six years. Couples who stayed together turned toward each other's bids for connection 86% of the time. Divorced couples: 33%. This episode unpacks bids, the 6-second pause, mirroring, validation, and the stress-reducing conversation — all drawn directly from Gottman's published research.

Week 2: Emotional Granularity & CBTMost people use 5–10 emotion words. Research by Lisa Feldman Barrett shows that expanding your emotional vocabulary reduces aggression, binge drinking, and self-harm — and makes you a better partner. This episode teaches the CBT thought record, the needs-vs-strategies reframe, and why "I'm fine" might be the most damaging phrase in your marriage

Week 1: Attachment & Self-Awareness Your attachment style was formed before you could talk — and it's running your marriage on autopilot. This episode covers Bowlby's attachment theory, Ainsworth's Strange Situation, and Hazan & Shaver's landmark 1987 study showing the same patterns in adult love. Plus: your first CBT mood journal and a validated attachment assessment you c...

What if the secret to a lasting marriage isn't more romance — it's more science? The Science of Staying Together is an 8-week guided podcast grounded in decades of peer-reviewed research on what makes relationships thrive — and what quietly destroys them. Each episode translates real studies into daily micro-practices you can start today. You'll learn why John Gottman's lab can pre...