The Schmear Podcast

SILENCE! Pick your challenge - Back Butter or Meat Hold Up. "You showed courage, but your teammates lacked discipline." - Zero On this episode of Silent Library, I mean, The Schmear Hailey and Alyssa talk through some of the hardest Y2K debates....Disney or Nickelodeon? VH1 or MTV? We also take to the streets and make our listeners choose between the shows of the century for this weeks Bagel Bite....

Life in plastic, it's fantastic! On this episode of The Schmear your two fav barbz, Barbie Hailey and Barbie Aly B deep dive into the movie of the century, Greta Gerwig's production of Barbie. It was so beautiful it will make you laugh, cry, and even feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. If you don't like it we will beach you off (if you know, you know). These barbz also discuss aliens in America...

Rizz adjective you have game and get bitches Glizzy noun a hot dog On this episode of The Schmear, Hailey tells the papschmears about her self induced lip filler (if you know, you know). And of course, the co-hosts discuss their ultimate "girl dinner" to find out what aesthetic they are, discuss The Golden Bachelor (#grandDADDY), the Ariana Grande & Dalton Gomez divorce, Gigi Hadid's arrest, and i...

Burns + Wilson = Bilson Bunch. Welcome to Season 2, Episode 9 of The Schmear! We have two very special guests this episode. GMONEY & Sue Bunny. This week on The Schmear we play a game of sibling rivalry with 70s and 80s trivia, discuss our fav childhood memories, and of course chat about all things going on in pop culture (Zayn Malik on CHD, Hollywood Writer & Actors Guild Strike, Oppenheimer vs....

ALMOST PARADISE....KNOCKING ON HEAVENS KIM K'S DOOR ;) Hehe welcome to Season 2 Episode 8 of The Schmear this week is all about our sick obsession with reality tv. Everything from behind the scenes, fun facts, and deep dark secrets of our favorites like The Bachelor/Bachelorette/Paradise, Love Island, America's Next Top Model, Big Brother, and so much more. Make sure to tune in for this fun filled...

They said they missed the old Drake, girl don't tempt me. On this episode of The Schmear, Alyssa and Hailey talk about the elephant in the room (Drizzy's new album), A-hole tendencies, CRAZY Uber stories, and of course dive into the rumor floating around on the internet - are Prince Harry and Meghan Markle getting divorced (WTF?!) Guess you'll have to tune in and find out. Let's chive!

When you hear the word summer, what are the top 5 things that come to mind? Hot dogs, happiness, aloe vera, Arnold Palmers, or maybe even pasta salad? What about songs? School's out for Summer, Passionfruit, Island in the Sun? On this episode the gals of The Schmear do a weekend recap of Aly B's Bachelorette party and reveal why one girl ended up in the hospital....and it's not from what you're th...

This week on The Schmear, we're kicking things off with a listener story so unbelievable it sounds made up: a hankering for Chinese food allegedly led to a car accident. You read that correctly. From there, Alyssa and Hailey swap travel horror stories that might convince you to stay home forever. We're talking blood on the walls of an Airbnb, lost luggage disasters, mid-flight vomiting inc...

Our gal Miss Piggy is a lowkey narcassist and Kermit is a whiny frog #REDFLAG. On this episode of The Schmear Aly B and Hailey chat about movies and tv shows that feel like fever dreams (Muppets, Date Movie, Epic Movie, ect.), corporate horror stories, and the biggest red and beige flags. Also, a little roach told us they ended up in someones underwear drawer....guess you'll have to listen to find...

.....and all say they are big fans of The Schmear, but I mean who isn't? On this week's episode Alyssa and Hailey talk about their claims to fame, as well as our lovely papschmears! In addition they deep dive into all things pop culture and take their brains to the test with some trivia. Make sure to listen to hear about all things Little Mermaid, Queer Eye, NBA Finals, and the QUEEN miss blue ivy...

Which one of The Schmear ladies do you think was banned FOR LIFE from Lifetime Fitness??? And would you believe us if we told you Aly B was taken to the police station in 2nd grade for saying the word b*tch? Or that Hailey ran on a main road as kid to avoid going to the doctor? Well....you should because all these scenarios are true. On this week of The Schmear we talk about things we did as teens...

Welcome back for Season 2 our cute lil papschmears! On the season premier we let you know where the hell we've been the past two weeks, tell our fun drunk stories (7th heaven & colors in a Vegas pool #iykyk), catch up on the TSwift and Matt Healy TEA, and get EMO about Firefly Lane. We can't wait for you to listen, let's chive!

Season One is a WRAP! Thank you to all our listeners for being part of the Schmear fam each week - we do this for you! On the season finale, Alyssa and Hailey debate HOT or NOT with some of their fav celebs, play a fun lil game of "Am I The Asshole", and of course dive into the juiciest gossip roaming the internet this week...Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell ending their relationships to be together...

Before you press play, we have one request: if you don't know what a dingleberry is, please do a quick search and report back. Trust us—you're going to need the context. This week on The Schmear, Aly B and Hailey tackle the biggest cultural tragedies of our time, starting with Frank Ocean dropping out of Coachella Weekend 2 and sending the internet into a full-blown meltdown. The cousins a...

This week on The Schmear, Aly B and Hailey are asking the hard-hitting questions: Would you rather listen to Jack Black's "Peaches" on repeat for 24 straight hours, or be forced to answer every question in the form of a riddle? The answers may surprise you... or concern you. The cousins put their brains (and dignity) to the test with rounds of Finish the Lyric, Would You Rather, and...

THANK YOU FOR 1,000 STREAMS! On this special episode, Hailey and Alyssa recap their weekend, talk all things social media (LinkedIn is CLEARLY superior), Target Bathrooms, and Lexie’s nacho cheese fiasco. Make sure to give us a follow on Instagram @theschmear.podcast to keep up with all things Schmear related. Until next time, let's chive!

First, slice three ripe avocados in half, remove the pit and scoop them into a mixing bowl. Then use a fork to gently mash them to your desired level of chunky or smooth. Add the onions, tomatoes, cilantro, jalapeno pepper, garlic, lime juice and salt and stir everything together. Now bring out Irina and Micah from Love is Blind. JUST KIDDING. On this episode on The Schmear we play a fun little ga...

Bring on the Dunkaroo's, Chokers, and Backstreet Boys because we traveling back to the 90s for this episode baby! Weren't around in the 90s? TALK TO THE HAND! Alright just kidding, tune into this weeks episode and we will fill you in on all things that came out of the peace and prosperity decade...cowabunga! Plus, Aly and Hailey claim 90s baby energy, so you'll go through a deep-dive of the most i...

Picture this....you're in Mexico for Spring Break in College and your friend gets lost and it's your fault #yikes. Or you are in Hawaii with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - mai tai in hand...well one of these is Aly's story and one is Hailey's - guess you'll have to listen to find to out. We also discuss the Drake and 21 Savage Tour, The Oscars, and more. Let's chive!

Sup papSCHMEARS! Can't believe it has been only a week since we spoke to you last. So much has happened in so little time....Aly B went to Napa for a 30th Birthday Surprise, Hailey went on a date and got approached by some BLITZED older folks, on top of that they discuss smothered burritos, John B, and all things Vanderpump Rules (piping hot TEA!) We are so excited for you to listen to this weeks...

Yes, you read that right....on this episode we find out that one of our listeners got BIT in the TIT at work. On top of that, we bring ALL of the Fuzzy Cuzzies together for an action-packed episode you don't want to miss. We talk all things corprate America, our core childhood memories, and find out what our *dream* jobs should be. Let's chive! 

*Cue Pedro Pascal TikTok Thirst Traps* This week, the ladies of The Schmear have A LOT to unpack. Hailey attended Mardi Gras in NOLA for her birthday and got in a fight with a mom and son, and Aly B drank espresso martinis, saw Magic Mike Last Dance, and ALMOST got scammed 3x times. We also delve into the most underrated man of 2023....Pedro Pascal.

B*tch better have my money (for diapers!) #iykyk On this weeks episode of The Schmear we debrief the Superbowl, Valentine's Day, and all things pop culture. Follow us on Instagram for all things Schmear - @theschmear.podcast! Let's Chive. 

Super Bowl Sunday touches down in Phoenix, Arizona THIS weekend! Alyssa and Hailey take a walk down memory lane and discuss their favorite halftime performances, tailgate dishes, and what their plans are for this weekends big game. With Drake touching-down in Phoenix, along with many other celebrities the concerts and events are off the charts. We can't wait to see what this weekend brings. Make s...

On this episode of The Schmear we take "family feud" to a whole new level. Alyssa and Hailey bring on two of their best friends, Casey and Stephanie and they go head to head to win the battle of who knows us better. Family? or Friends? We also discuss some stories that are NSFW (plug your ears mom and dad!) Make sure to follow @theschmear.podcast on IG and FB for all things schmear. LET'S CHIVE!