The Safety To Speak

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

Research References Mentioned * Barrett, L. F. (2017). How Emotions Are Made * Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart * Gottman, J. M. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work * Lerner, H. (1985). The Dance of Anger * Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight Knowledge is power. Ignorance is a choice This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to b...

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

As always come as you are where you are. 🫶🏽 Remember knowledge is power ignorance is a choice. References Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain . Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders . International Universities Press. Boszormenyi-Nagy, I., & Spark, G. M. (1973). Invisible loyalties: Reciprocity in inter...

Key Points for Integration * Predictive Processing: The nervous system doesn’t just react to the present; it creates a “mental rehearsal” of the future based on past trauma. This leads to a high allostatic load, where the body stays in a state of “functional freeze” or hypervigilance. * The Dopamine-Discomfort Loop: Constant engagement with high-reward stimuli (social media, “outsourcing” feelings...

Data Collectors, Have you ever stopped to think about the every day ways we don’t see how we place ourselves in the line of fire? Every time we resist the nuance to humanity. The messiness, the free will of individuality and in doing so we miss ourselves. We miss the moments that can bond us, unite us, imprint us with more core memories. But, as long as we stay distracted by the VECNA energy, the...

Thanks for reading The Safety to Speak™ ! This post is public so feel free to share it. The Safety to Speak™ is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

Enjoy 🫶🏽 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

As a clinician, I spend a lot of time teaching people how to find their voice. For people-pleasers, over-functioners, and chronic “shrinkers,” this work is necessary, a part of the life mission we must face; otherwise we risk being a drifter in the loop. Many of us were conditioned to make ourselves smaller in order to maintain peace in relationships. As a result, learning how to speak up, set bou...

In this episode, we unpack the difference between externalized blame and pattern recognition. For those who need clarity. Here is a goat head. Not fun to step on 🥲 Blame feels sharp. Sticky. Painful. Like stepping on a goat head in the desert — it hooks into you and won’t let go. The mind tells us the only way to get relief is to throw it at someone else. But relief through projection isn’t freed...

Tell me what comes up for you when you hear these words. Everyone’s experience will be different. What mental movies show up for you. Till next time. The Safety to Speak™ is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episo...

Being personal online… let alone publicly is scary for me and yet, just like in my clinical practice, I believe some transparency builds rapport. Not oversharing. Not emotional dumping, but intentional visibility. Irving Yalom speaks about the healing power of authentic presence. Carl Rogers emphasized genuineness as a condition for growth. Carl Jung wrote about integrating the self rather than pe...

Happy Valentine’s Day Loves! As this month marks my 1 year anniversary of being online publicly, sharing my brain and heart with you all. I thought this might be a treat for us to come back to when we need it. Sometimes we forget we have access to breath. Breath is the one tool that moves with us through joy, grief, confusion, and noise. It’s the simplest form of co-regulation we can practice — to...

Data Collectors, How are you doing today? How has the year so far been treating you? This is our first Trail Talks episode and I want to be honest. I have no idea what I am doing. I don’t have a team or anything like that, I am figuring all of this out on my own while carrying a caseload, transitioning fully into my own practice, building out my practice and our nervous system playground. Sanctuar...

Share this with someone who needs it. Enjoy 🫶🏽 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

Enjoy 🫶🏽 This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.thesafetytospeak.com/subscribe

Data Collectors, The Algorithm is loud but there’s a particular kind of silence I’ve been noticing. A silence that shows up when harm doesn’t match the usual narrative. Society today is quick to name harm when it’s a man harming a woman. We’re fast to diagnose, expose, and react often with moral clarity as if we saw the dynamic first hand. But.. What happens when harm flows in the other direction?...

Hey Data Collectors, It’s Sav… This is a deeply honest, unfiltered voice note that's been sitting heavy on my heart. I reference a public figure in this episode, but I want to be very clear: this is not an attack. This is not about targeting anyone's journey – it's about naming a pattern that's repeating across the algorithm, in our homes, in our therapy offices, and in our family systems. When so...