The Reverend John Wheeler Podcast

We recorded this in a live theater and it devolved into political discourse about robots and aliens running the country. Jason Krueger was there.

John's friend and fellow comedian/weirdo, Sidney Oxboro, takes the bus to visit him. They both get incredibly faded and try to figure out the meaning of life. It's an extra long one, so you know they succeed!

Big Top Pee Wee is hands down the worst movie ever made by anyone in any time period, for any reason. We try to explain so you don't have to watch it, but you should watch it anyways because you hate yourself and you deserve to be miserable.

It died long before the flood. Your beliefs are loose puppet strings waiting to be pulled.

Believe it or not, you can't believe everything you read, and believe me this story is unbelievable!

What did it mean to be a 1990s Goth Kid? For me it meant subversion and violence and toying around with the idea of controlling the way others perceived me in order to leverage them. My therapist once told me that this was unhealthy, so I almost ate his liver with fave beans and a nice Chianti, but I didn't because he made a really good point.

In Minneapolis, the art of creating glass pipes, spoons, bowls, headies, whatever- was once a dangerous and illicit business. Now it's just a day job with a paid time off and insurance. This podcast sort of gets into that, but it's mostly about forcing myself to make an actual documentary about it before everyone dies.

We are merging into a better timeline and leaving some people behind. Are you coming with us? Chris @xhailglass and I will help you figure it out.

That's right, DEAD serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy Land! Andrew Danger Brungalson and I discuss our grim reality.

Barbbenheimer Grind-house! I don't recommend drinking and theater hopping to watch both of these movies. It's like when I saw Grind-house in the theater. I thought Death Proof was boring, but later when I watched it by itself and realized that it is a far better movie than Planet Terror. I'm also quitting caffeine and kinda losing my mind.

NPC streamers model their behavior after video game NPCs, often performing repetitive, almost robotic gestures and phrases. It is the result of multiple years worth of personal data mining and social media behavioral studies to funnel as much money as possible out of users for the absolute least amount of worthwhile content. It is a major sign of the apocalypse. I'm not kidding. Boiling human...

On a flight to visit her home in North Korea, standup comic and far-right nationalist radio personality, Morgan Pearson, saw some kind of inter dimensional reptilian alien ghost thing. We have a long conversation about mental health in America, that will someday be used as “exhibit A” in a war crimes tribunal.

Because they are the elephants of the sea, and an elephant never forgets…

Prominent Butt Scientist, Peter Pepper, joins Reverend John Wheeler to discuss the impact of Big Bathroom’s corporate agenda, and the role they played in this most recent tragedy. The ocean is God’s toilet, and they are interfering in matters that mankind could never hope to comprehend…

Wasn’t that wild? Chris Masimore and I get violently high and drunk, respectively, and have a frank and straightforward conversation about the nonhuman spacemen from beyond the moon!

And then they run for president. This podcast is manly about my most recent trip to Colorado wherein I discovered how sloppy, rude, stupid, and inconsiderate most of Minnesota is. Being in a big city where businesses were staffed, shelves were stocked, and people didn’t let their unruly kids run wild was rather staggering. I’m mad about it. But at least we are finally getting weed, so that’s fun.

I’ll tell you how: when you stay up too late, get too drunk, and do a sprawling aimless podcast about nothing, and are man enough to know not to put it on YouTube, and just put out the audio here. It’s the grown up thing to do.

For example, he claims to have a car that runs on wine. Actually, that’s probably the extent of what you need to know. Nevertheless, this week I am joined by Chris “X-Hail” Masimore of Blue Felix and Minnesota Legit fame, and we discuss the joy of monarchy.

Rather then forcing people out, robots are filling in the gaps left by a shrinking labor force. This is actually a pretty thoughtful episode about technology logical progress and society. Ya know, In between the rambling and yelling.

I’m seriously asking. I don’t think the official talking points have been sent out yet, and I love these golden times of listening to heavily propagandized simps shooting in the dark trying to come up with their OWN reasons for continuing to worship those who lie to them for profit. It’s usually pretty great stuff. Feel free to share!

People throw one beer away and buy another one owned by the same company to prove a point to no one about how they don’t like to have to look at certain kinds of people. We are doing great as a species.

It did for me. Adderall and ketamine helped a lot, and I explain the whole mess right here.

In this episode I explain why.

We review, rewrite, and plan several sequels for Cocaine Bear. Also our friend Jason Krueger joins us. He’s the art director for Fearless Comedy, and the sound engineer for The Monday Night Comedy Show. Also our first ever guest.

1. Remove reproductive rights. 2. Remove education. 3. Remove child labor laws. 4. Our Ponzi scheme economy that is based on constant population growth and exploitation flourishes for a bunch of rich people that are not you. 5. Your dumb ass celebrates.