The Relationship Maze

Send us Fan Mail Do you always know what your partner is thinking? Well, you may find that you are completely wrong with your underlying assumptions. Mind reading mostly does not work very well. Assumptions are generalisations, inferences and predictions about the world and about other people's intentions. They offer us a sense of predictability and safety. Mostly we are not aware of our assu...

Send us Fan Mail Today we discuss the importance of rituals in life and in your relationships. A ritual is a predefined sequence of symbolic actions which are often characterised by formality and repetition.  Weddings, birthday celebrations or funerals, for example, are rituals. Particularly, of course, in the sphere of religions there are strong associations with rituals that provide symbolic val...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we consider what happens when you think too much about yourself and what others might think about you. You may have a constant,  internal dialogue running where you are very focused on other people's - perceived - critical perception.  You may worry that other people notice everything about you that you don't quite like about yourself. There is a...

Send us Fan Mail In episode 102 we discuss what co-dependency looks like and what the likely causes for this presentation might have been. Co-dependency is a term that describes a relationship where one partner needs the other, who in turn needs to be needed. A person who is co-dependent works extremely hard at pleasing their partner; they generally only feel worthy if they are making strong sacri...

Send us Fan Mail You may find that you often chose partners that are not necessarily the best choice for you. Why is it, for example that children of alcoholics or children of abusive parents often find themselves in similar relationships as adults? The child of an alcoholic find a partner who drinks too much, the child of emotionally unavailable parents choses a partner who is not emotionally pre...

Send us Fan Mail Do you struggle with compromising in your relationship? Making compromises can be very challenging; it's not always easy to establish a middle ground between you and your partner's wishes and to create a win/win situation for both of you. Regardless of how close you and your partner are you, are bound to experience differences of opinion which will lead to disagreements....

Send us Fan Mail Do you struggle with decision making and often worry about making the right or wrong decision? In today's episode we talk about the challenge of being 'condemned to freedom' (Jean-Paul Sartre): because we world is not well structured, predictable and sometime groundless our existence is fundamentally not secure. We try to mitigate this lack of security through makin...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we discuss the underlying reasons for and challenges with keeping secrets. You may keep a secret for a number reasons: you feel that it's not the right time to talk about something, you want to surprise someone, you don't want to burden someone, you feel ashamed about an action or event in the past or you want to protect yourself from the potentia...

Send us Fan Mail Is this you:  there are too many demands made on you, you have to juggle too many tasks, you don't know where to start? Is it all simply too much at times? In today's episode we discuss what happens when you are overwhelmed and what you can do to address this situation. When you are overwhelmed your body and mind are in state of threat. Your fight/flight/freeze responses...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we look at some of the signs or indicators that your partner or the person you are dating has a secure attachment style. Why does it matter that your partner has a secure attachment? Research shows that it only takes one secure partner in the relationship to make the relationship overall stable. We discuss what a secure or insecure attachment looks like. A...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we discuss how feelings of low self worth and self esteem may influence your partner choice and your relationships. Often people are attracted to partners who seem confident or have high levels of self esteem as a way of compensation for your own feelings of not being worthy. You may choose a confident partner in order to have higher self esteem by proxy. W...

Send us Fan Mail Today we are talking about boredom in your relationship, a sense of sameness, predictability, dullness and flatness. You may ask yourself: is it normal to be bored in a relationship or marriage? Boredom as a symptom can have different root causes: it may be a sign that feelings are suppressed in the relationship or it may simply be down to having completely different interests. Yo...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we talk about dissatisfaction. What causes low or high level frustration in your relationship? Do you often think that your partner does not quite offer you what you want? Chronic dissatisfaction that does not get addressed can lead to resentment, constant bickering and possibly to the end of the relationship. We discuss where the dissatisfaction comes from...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we discuss anger in relationships: how it affects you and your partner. Anger can of course be a significant problem in your relationship if it is out of control. Anger can take many forms; it can be outer or inner directed. Unexpressed anger that is always held in can manifest as depression or self harm. In relationships where partner A is always angry it...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we talk about the difficulty of not being able to express 'negative' feelings, behaviour or experiences in your relationship as one of the main relationship problems. This lack of expression is often driven by a fear of upsetting your partner or and ultimately losing your partner, in particular if you regard conflict as dangerous. Sitting on your...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we are talking with therapist and author Kimberly Morrow, who wrote Face It and Feel It: 10 Simple (But Not Easy) Ways to Live Well with Anxiety and CBT for Anxiety: A Step-By-Step Training Manual for the Treatment of Fear, Panic, Worry and OCD. Kimberly specialises in working with anxiety and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD); in today's episode she...

Send us Fan Mail When was the last time you experienced excitement - a sense of being thrilled or feeling very enthusiastic? Particularly in the early stages of the relationship you are likely to frequently have a sense of excitement. Excitement often feeds on novelty, eagerness, the unknown  and  anticipation.  Excitement is also associated with feeling good. When we are excited we feel mobilised...

Send us Fan Mail Do you always try get everything right and strive to meet very high standards? Perfectionists tend to judge their self worth in relation to achieving these standards. They always worry that they are good enough. Perfectionists struggle with the impact of trying to meet unrelentingly high standards but they can't stop pursuing them anyway. Because there is always the fear or g...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode Angela is in conversation with Dr Tracy Dennis-Tiwary, author of 'Future Tense.: Why Anxiety is Good For You (Even Though it Feels Bad). Tracy A. Dennis-Tiwary, Ph. D. is a researcher, entrepreneur, and author of the book Future Tense: Why Anxiety is Good for You (Even Though it Feels Bad), Harper Wave, 2022 . She is a professor of psychology and neuro...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we talk about feeling jealous and being in a relationship with a partner who is excessively jealous. Jealousy to some extent is quite normal, however, if it becomes excessive it can seriously undermine your relationship. Jealousy is driven be a perceived or real threat to the relationship. The jealous partner resents a third person for taking away their par...

Send us Fan Mail Do you find yourself stuck in repetitive, usually negative, thinking about a particular situation, experience or behaviour? Rumination is the unpleasant experiencing of obsessively going over the same old thoughts again and again. Too much rumination stops us from being present. Rumination keeps you stuck - you worry about an issue but don't actually help to address it. Often...

Send us Fan Mail How do you feel about arguments in your life? Do you tend to find them deeply uncomfortable, terrifying or do you enjoy a good argument and consider arguing a good way of clarifying your mutual expectations? Are you aware of your argument style? You can take our short Argument Style quiz to find out more about your style of arguing. In today's session we talk about conflict i...

Send us Fan Mail Do you often find that your relationships don't live up to your expectations? Expectations are predictions about the future.  You are likely to have an idea in your mind about what your relationship should look like, how your partner should behave and how you would feel in a relationship that is going well. Some of these ideas are part of your awareness, others aren't. A...

Send us Fan Mail In today's episode we talk about the importance of being fully present with your partner and how you might be working on achieving this. We spend a lot of time thinking about the future or the past. Worries about future uncertainties or troublesome past experiences often take us away from being in the present moment. Often we overreact to a certain experience because we are c...

Send us Fan Mail Many people wonder whether their relationship is worth persisting with. They might not be entirely happy with their partner's view points, their mannerisms or some of their behaviours.  They may not feel attracted enough. In today's episodes we consider whether you may be leaving your relationships too soon, not giving them enough time to fully explore whether you might...