The Relational Intelligence Podcast

In this week's episode we consider how emotional neglect in childhood may be interpreted and later show up in adult relationships. We highlight 5 ways people may be impacted: 1. They may have difficulty processing their emotions 2. They may feel overly responsible for other people's emotions 3. They may seem withdrawn or disconnected 4. They may lean heavily into escapism 5. They may hav...

In this week's episode we navigate the complex balance between keeping ourselves safe from relational harm and opening ourselves up to experience fulfilling connections. While the walls we've built can keep us safe, they can also keep us hidden. We're called to guard our hearts and yet open ourselves up to community. How does that work though? Are the walls we've build truly ke...

In this week's episode we discuss the dilemma we often face when looking to determine if a relationship is worth nurturing, maintaining, or releasing. While there is no guidebook to tell us exactly what to do, we can leverage biblical principles and our discernment to determine our steps. We share 6 things we can focus on to determine if we should stay in the relationship: 1. Focus on their h...

In this week's episode we dive into Matthew 7:3 that says, "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" We're called to live a life of humility, and that heart posture enables us to continually grow in love with the freedom to make mistakes. A happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship cannot be nurtured with...

In this week's episode we discuss how to navigate moments, periods, and seasons when our emotional, mental, or spiritual tanks are empty and we have little to give to our relationships.

In this week's episode we talk through a few findings from the book Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection by Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman and a casual conversation between my colleagues and I about those findings on a random Tuesday. We discuss three conflict styles highlighted in the book (Avoidant, Validating, Volatile) and keys the authors shared about things...

In this week's episode we discuss how our upbringings plays a pivotal role in how we view the world, how we communicate, and how we interact with the environment around us.

In this week's episode we review some common patterns of rejection towards ourselves, such as: Being overly critical of oneself Being uncomfortable spending time alone Being in a constant state of comparison Focusing more on doing rather than being We also discuss some steps we can take to begin learning true self-acceptance: Mindfulness & Self-Exploration Giving Yourself Grace Forgiving...

In this week's episode we talk about insights on how to open our hearts and minds to simply having more fun. We go in depth about 5 strategies to help us along this process: 1. Stop taking yourself so seriously - instead, be more childlike (when appropriate) 2. Stop connecting with people on what's going badly - instead, connect on positive things 3. Commit to time away from your goals a...

In this week's episode we discuss eight strategies to help you resist temptation: Recall what tempts you Interject and redirect yourself before you engage with the temptation  Plan to have healthy alternatives in place Introduce and welcome accountability partners Challenge yourself for a set period of time Keep the temptation out of reach  Set your intention  Create a rewards system You&apos...

In this week's episode we speak to Angela Duckworth's book Grit. She outlines three different views of work - job, career, and calling. In her book, she speaks to the degree of grit involved at each level. I paralleled job, career, and calling to dating, relationships, and life partnership. We zoom out and take a look at what our expectations and investments look like at each level of ro...

I'm going to keep it straight with you - uncovering your true identity is going to take a lot of humility because it'll be a game of trial and error. This lifelong journey allows us to sift through all the filth that life, hurt, rejection, misunderstanding, and everything else that has covered up the beauty of who we really are. I intentionally titled this UNcovering your true Identity r...

In this week's episode we talk about our role in choosing not only who is in our lives, but how much access they have to us. I share my own framework for choosing people to do life with as a means to encourage others to understand their own relational needs. I mentioned a sermon from Pastor Travis Greene of Forward City Church that references what it means to have "diggers" in your...

In this week's episode we speak to both sides of pride (the good and the bad) and what it means to live a life of authentic humility. Pride is on a spectrum, there's healthy pride like self-respect, and there's unhealthy pride like arrogance. I don't know about you, but often when I hear people speak about pride, the negative side is the one being highlighted and I want to chal...

In this week's episode we discuss the ways in which we may welcome frustrations into our lives. From small nuisances to larger-scale frustrations, it's important for us to take note of the role we may play. We discussed three primary strategies for reducing these sorts of frustrations: 1. Seek first to understand 2. Take accountability  3. Be flexible These three strategies work together...

After reflecting on a chaotic few weeks I recognized that I stopped engaging in one my most important practices - brain dumps. In this week's episode I share how brain dumps impacted my life, what they are, and how we can all start making use of them. Brain dumps allow you to clear out the toxins that have entered your mind and hold on to the nutrient rich information that you've consume...

Last week we discussed 3 things I had to learn to do in order to change my life: 1. Learn to step outside of myself 2. Learn to identify my problem beliefs (not my problem behaviors) 3. Learn how to do things differently In this week's episode I recount my experience as a recovering people pleaser and how I used those three steps to move from people pleasing to honoring myself while simultane...

Hey tribe! I took a quarter off but I'm BACK! Apologies for not communicating this sabbatical in advance, I'll most certainly do better next time. During some recent quiet time with the Lord, I reflected on how vastly differently I'm experiencing life now in comparison to before I committed to this relationship with Jesus. I wish I could say I committed my life to Christ and everyth...

In this week's episode we review different ways our level of confidence in ourselves and our abilities has the potential to impact our experience in life. We discuss warning signs that indicate we're battling issues related to our confidence and strategies to slowly, but surely build it back up.