The Reconnection Club Podcast

If you have a college-aged adult child who's creating distance between you, you're not alone. Why do young adults suddenly go from frequent voluntary contact and "I love you" to feeling "smothered"? And how should parents respond? In this episode featuring a recording from a past Q&A call, podcast host Tina Gilbertson, LPC, tackles the problem of college cutoff. You'll hear one family's story that...

One of the hardest things to understand if you didn't abuse your child or children, is that their estrangement may still be a way of protecting themselves. Although there are estranged adult children with horrific stories of abuse and neglect, they are not the only ones creating distance from parents and family. Parents of all backgrounds, temperaments, disciplinary styles and socioeconomic levels...

One of the hardest things to understand if you didn't abuse your child or children, is that their estrangement may still be a way of protecting themselves. Although there are estranged adult children with horrific stories of abuse and neglect, they are not the only ones creating distance from parents and family. Parents of all backgrounds, temperaments, disciplinary styles and socioeconomic levels...

When your adult child stops talking to you, many parents' biggest fear is they'll never come back. If silence goes on for months or years, you might naturally wonder if the unthinkable has happened, and the relationship with your child(ren) is actually over. In this hopeful episode, therapist and host Tina Gilbertson argues that estrangement itself is a sign the relationship is still alive. Find o...

In this thoughtful remake of Episode 3, RC Podcast host and therapist Tina Gilbertson walks listeners through some of the most common mistakes parents make when adult children become estranged. As a parent, sometimes you have to avoid words and actions that might come naturally if you want to successfully reconnect. Steering clear of anything that could make your adult child's estrangement worse i...

Estranged adult children might say to their parents, "You brought this on yourselves" – referring to parental behaviors that contributed to their need for space. But parents may say the same thing to adult children who choose estrangement, and then discover they're still unhappy: "You're bringing this on yourself (by keeping your distance)." Where do we go from here? It's a stalemate. But the ques...

Episode 1 Redux Most parents who are unwillingly estranged from their adult children worry about time passing while they're estranged. They know life is short. Grandchildren grow up fast. Time is not unlimited. This makes parents anxious to reconnect, which is understandable. But acting on anxiety too often leads to ineffective behaviors. In this revitalization of a classic episode, RC Podcast hos...

In this fascinating 2-part episode (see link below for Part 1), host Tina Gilbertson explores the impact on siblings of adult child estrangement. If your estranged adult child has a brother, sister, or multiple siblings, you'll want to listen to this series carefully. You'll discover how to support the ones left behind; whether your other adult children will become estranged too; and what to do if...

In this fascinating 2-part episode (Part 2 comes out on March 23, 2026), host Tina Gilbertson explores the impact on siblings of adult child estrangement.  If your estranged adult child has a brother, sister, or multiple siblings, you'll want to listen to this series carefully. Find out how to support the ones left behind; whether your other adult children will become estranged too; and what to do...

From an interview with Anne Dickson, Ph. D. In this insightful episode, you'll learn about the critical interplay between assertiveness, boundaries, and emotions. Reconnection Club Podcast host Tina Gilbertson shares an excerpt from her interview with assertiveness expert and author Anne Dickson, who explains how early experiences shape our understanding of anger. Key insights about the emotional...

Did you know that intentionally tolerating anxiety can help you make clearer decisions, and even find moments of joy, during an unwanted estrangement from your adult child(ren)?  In this useful episode, Reconnection Club host Tina Gilbertson talks about the importance (and practicality) of tolerating anxiety when facing estrangement from adult children. Tina explains how anxiety comes from our own...

You feel it when your estranged (or formerly estranged) adult child is in the room. The conversation is surface-level. You second-guess everything. You remind yourself, "I have to be careful." "Walking on eggshells" is a common experience for parents of estranged adult children, especially during the reconciliation phase of estrangement. Parents might not know exactly why their child became distan...

You haven't heard from your adult child lately, but they weren't doing well the last time you did hear from them. Or maybe you've heard they're okay, but you can't get an answer to a text. You wonder if they've blocked you. You're afraid of becoming more and more estranged. Whatever the circumstances surrounding your adult child's silence (or hostility), it might feel like a face-to-face meeting w...

In this thoughtful episode, host Tina Gilbertson gently encourages parents to embrace their own humanity while recognizing the shared struggles of their estranged adult children. She cautions against the polarizing views that often define parent-adult child estrangement, pitting parents and children against each other. By emphasizing the shared struggles and vulnerabilities within these groups, Ti...

For parents unwillingly estranged from your adult child or children during the holiday season, host Tina Gilbertson and members of the Reconnection Club community want you to know you're not alone. If estrangement is casting a shadow over the holidays for you this year, there's someone else who knows what it's like. This special holiday episode, originally aired on December 16th, 2024, came direct...

In this insightful episode of the podcast, host Tina Gilbertson delves into the often-overlooked truth about reconnecting with estranged adult children: Emotional connection always starts with ourselves. For parents struggling with the pain of estrangement, Tina examines why emotional disconnect may be the norm in our society. She explains how many of us turn away from ourselves starting at an ear...

In this eye-opening (and ultimately uplifting) episode, psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson unpacks the often-overlooked reality of reconciliation between parents and their estranged adult children. While reconnecting might seem like a joyful resolution, it can leave many parents less than happy. They may still feel unfulfilled, and even heartbroken. Tina reveals how pain from the past -- e.g., unmet...

Many parents of estranged adult children find themselves constantly staying busy and never pausing to rest. Others find it impossible to muster any motivation at all. Withdrawing, numbing out, struggling with perfectionism or people-pleasing… These may all be signs of nervous system dysregulation, and the simple need to know we're valuable and lovable. This episode features an audio excerpt from h...

When estranged adult children don't share their reasons for going no-contact, parents can be forgiven for making assumptions. Some assumptions can be helpful, and even somewhat soothing. But far more often during unwanted estrangement from adult children, assumptions made by parents make them feel powerless. Here are a few examples: My adult child's partner doesn't like me. My adult child is holdi...

What if your estranged adult child sends you an angry letter (or email or text), listing all your flaws and failings as a parent? Should you respond right away? What should you say? What if they tell you not to contact them? In this essential and practical episode, RC Podcast host Tina Gilbertson urges parents to pause when they receive this type of communication from estranged adult children. Ins...

When adult children go "no contact" with parents, in some cases it's because of an overdrawn emotional bank account between them. In this thought-provoking episode, host Tina Gilbertson explains the workings of your relationship bank account with your estranged adult child(ren) -- including examples of emotional deposits and withdrawals. Not every rejected parent has an overdrawn emotional account...

How do you heal an estranged relationship with your adult child when there's no contact? Through a recording from a past group Q&A call, host psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson shares her insights about the self-reflexive relationship between parents and adult children, and its potential for healing. Tina emphasizes that lingering emotional injuries in the parent -- who may not be aware of how those...

In this important episode for parents with estranged adult children, therapist and host Tina Gilbertson discusses a common mistake that can keep the distance between them.  Many parents think estrangement is just a form of the "silent treatment" and a reaction to their parenting mistakes. They struggle to understand why all the good things they did -- such as providing support, resources or time -...

Host Tina Gilbertson continues the conversation from Episode 203 about navigating differences in values within parent-adult child relationships. This episode explores additional factors that can strengthen reconciled relationships, even in the presence of different values. Key Topics Discussed: The concept of "glue" in relationships and what connects us beyond differing values The importance of sh...

In this insightful episode, psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson tackles the sensitive issue of how parents can manage differences in values with their adult children -- especially when those differences lead to estrangement. Whether it's political disagreements, religious conflicts, or cultural clashes, Tina explores how it's not always the values themselves that cause tension, but the way those diffe...