The Reconnect Marriage Podcast

Send a text Sadness can often feel off-limits, and we usually try to avoid feeling and expressing sadness.  Sometimes we aren't sure what our spouse needs when sadness is present and we aren't sure how to respond.  What do we need when we feel sad?  Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call have a conversation about helpful ways to navigate and stay present to our spouse's sadness. 

Send a text Sometimes in our marriage relationship, we can feel like we are too much and/or not enough. Often there is a longing for more intimacy, more emotion, or more connection, and in that longing, there can be a sense for the other that they aren't enough. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call validate the struggle that couples often experience in the not enough/too much interaction and...

Send a text  Validation is an essential relational ingredient.  It's an essential relational ingredient in the midst of a different idea, thought, belief, and/or feeling between spouses. Validation is the intentional reflection that what our spouse is experiencing is valid.  Yet the lack of validation implies to your spouse that what they are thinking or feeling is less than or doesn't m...

Send a text Couples often struggle with the experience of repair. It can be a difficult process to navigate for so many reasons. And the inability to repair can perpetuate disconnection. The lack of repair is often connected to the resistance to repair.   Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa have a thoughtful and hopeful conversation that provides insight into how couples can repair well when experienc...

Send a text For many couples, it can be difficult to connect emotionally at times. The expression of emotion and the response to our spouse's emotion can lead to a sense of disconnection rather than connection.  Emotional intimacy can be difficult to cultivate especially if emotion was off-limits in our own family of origin experience.  Join Dr. Steve and Lisa Call as they offer an insightful...

Send a text When couples are apart and then return, it's common to experience conflict, hurt, and perhaps disappointment. Most often this is connected to different hopes and expectations in the return. An essential part of how couples return to one another well is connected to how well couples communicate while being apart.      Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer some helpful insight...

Send a text The use of why naturally creates a sense of defensiveness, yet it can be a common phrase couples use with one another. Often the use of why occurs when we feel frustrated and when something occurs that we might not have expected.   Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer Insight and awareness into how couples can rephrase the use of why in other ways that can lead to the desired con...

Send a text "I'm sorry, but..." is a common phrase in marriage. Often it's a response to the pain and/or hurt we have caused. I'm sorry is an expression of sorrow, yet when we cause pain or hurt, we might quickly offer "I'm sorry, but..." as an attempt to hurry our spouse through the pain. What we crave though is tenderness.  How might we navigate sorrow wel...

Send a text A common question couples have is this question: "But how do resolve it?" Especially in moments of conflict or tension. When a couple is in the midst of conflict, perhaps we can  imagine something other than resolution to be the goal.   Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer a thoughtful conversation to how couples can move toward understanding in the midst of conflict or...

Send a text We are very excited to share our conversation with Christa Hardin, MA, the founder of Enneagram + Marriage (@enneagramandmarriage)  who has spent two decades studying, researching, and helping couples through the use of various marriage and family tools, including the Enneagram.  Listen in to discover helpful tools and insights that help couples understand the value of the Enneagram in...

Send a text Bids for connection are an expression we offer our spouse to simply connect.   Sometimes when we offer bids for connection, our spouse may respond in a way that communicates they would rather not participate in the bid or invite.   What is the goal and/or hope in offering a bid for connection?  It communicates a desire to be with the other.  Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call have a...

Send a text Sometimes spouses feel limited in expressing thoughts, ideas, and even emotions with one another. Part of the difficulty in doing so is the lack of relational safety. There are often embedded relational responses and patterns for many couples that can reinforce a lack of safety.  Join Dr. Steve and Lisa Call in a hopeful conversation in offering couples keys in cultivating relational s...

Send a text Every couple struggles at times with differences and marriage is a constant tension of navigating differences. We can have different thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and/or behavior. And differences in how couples live life together can create a sense of frustration.   Yet how might we honor and bless difference?  When couples have differences, what's the goal? What's the hope?   Li...

Send a text Often in experiences of frustration, disappointment, irritation, and even conflict we have common and familiar relational responses. One of those internal/external responses is the phrase, "here we go again." Join Dr. Steve and Lisa Call in a candid conversation around how couples can develop an awareness of what perpetuates "here we go again" and how we can move to...

Send a text There can be a prevalence of loneliness in marriage...even the most content marriages or connected marriages experience loneliness at times. What do we mean by loneliness and how do we navigate loneliness?  Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call have a conversation about loneliness and ways we can honor the loneliness that can be a common experience within our marriage as well as helpful...

Send a text Feeling frustrated can be a common experience for us in marriage and how  we navigate our frustration plays a key role in our marriage relationship.  Frustration is of course expected at times and yet sometimes we try to hide our frustration rather than reveal it. How  we communicate our frustration is essential to allow us to be seen and understood by our spouse. Jump into this conver...

Send a text We are hard wired to feel but often we try to talk the other out of what they feel by using statements that begin with "I think..."  At times this can create a sense of disconnection between spouses. Listen in though as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call have a conversation that helps guide couples in expressing emotion that invites a desired response  and how we can stay present to our...

Send a text Each spouse has a story and many of our stories are filled with pain, hurt, disappointment, heartache, and grief. In this podcast,  we focus on how to engage our spouse's story well. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer  thoughtful guidance and reflection into how we can be curious about our spouse's story in a way that creates the connection we desire. 

Send a text Each of us has a story that we bring to our marriage. And those stories create our marriage story. Thus our marriage story is directly impacted by our family of origin stories. Our stories can create context and give insight into what's happening in our marriage dynamic. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer further exploration into how story helps us make sense of the intera...

Send a text A common spoken and unspoken phrase in marriage is "I feel disconnected."  It's an attempt to create connection yet it has the potential to create distance and disconnection. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer some helpful insight into how this statement can be offered and received in ways that move us toward one another relationally  and create the connection th...

Send a text The holiday season can offer such goodness as well as such disappointment. We often have certain hopes and expectations during this season which can often lead to unmet expectations. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer some honest reflection in how we can honor both the goodness of this season as well as the disappointment associated with unmet expectations.

Send a text Essential to the wellbeing of our marriage are rituals of connection. Rituals of connection communicate that "you matter, I matter and we matter." Rituals of connection help facilitate reconnection in our marriage, especially in times of distress or difficulty. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call have a conversation around the benefits of rituals of connection that  allow us...

Send a text How we express need with and toward our spouse plays a significant role in our marriage relationship.  It has the potential to create a sense of collaboration or a sense of distance.  We are invited to name need as possibility rather than as demand. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call have a conversation around how we can express need as an invitation to collaborate and hear our spous...

Send a text Assumptions we make can play a significant role in our marriage, particularly in moments and experiences of disconnection. Yet, when we make an assumption about our spouse's behavior, it inhibits or limits the possibility of something different. Listen in as Dr. Steve and Lisa Call offer refections on how assumptions can perpetuate disconnection and helpful ways to navigate the as...

Send a text Misattunement is a common relational dynamic in marriage and yet it's something that we are often not aware of.  And misattunement can lead to a sense of disconnection over time. Join Dr. Steve and Lisa Call as they have a conversation about misattunement and how it reveals itself in couples that Steve works with therapeutically as well as how Lisa and Steve navigate it in their o...