The Real Weird Sisters

Alice and Martha finally resume the Ronversation, discussing Ron’s plots in the third book! In this book, Ron gets a little taste of fame, his relationship with Scabbers takes several turns for the worst, and he proves that he might be more than just a little stitious.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released... Read...

It may take nineteen minutes before getting to the meat of the show, but Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are so excited to talk about the next five minutes of Mike Newell’s magnum opus! This week, twins start getting their own personalities (and looks), Cho stumbles over her words while accusing Harry... Read more The post Take Five, Take 4.15: Goblet of Fire, 70:01-75:00 appear...

Alice and Martha talk through 100 great saves by Cormac McLaggen, even though it’s not quite clear where he has actually played Quidditch before. McLaggen may not be Harry’s favorite, but he’s a great decoy date for Hermione and practically King Slug!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and... Read...

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the fourteenth five minutes of Mike Newell’s classic masterpiece. There’s plenty to talk about this week, including twinspeak (times two), alliterations, dancing lessons, and the return of the OG MVB Nigel! And by the way, who’s Pinch?? Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes... R...

Alice and Martha take a break from stories about mice to cover a story about a dog, Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo. Is Miss Franny Block really a librarian? Where do Litmus Lozenges get their flavor? And did Dave Matthews kill his chances at an acting career with his portrayal of Otis? Find out... Read more The post Into the Pensieve: Because of Winn-Dixie appeared first on The Real Weird...

It’s time to propery eulogize our favorite Slytherin head of house! Alice and Martha discuss Harry’s successful procurement of the memory and Slughorn’s impressive seventh book arc. “To friendship! To generosity! To ten Galleons a hair!” Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are re...

Alice and Martha continue their discussion about ol’ Sluggy, who throws an amazing and not at all problematic Christmas party. Harry makes a valiant atttempt to get the memory from him (although the tampered memory was very convincing!). Finally, when in doubt, just shove a bezoar down their throats!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!... Read more The post Horace Slughorn: Chara...

Two full minutes of a joyride / dragon chase around the Hogwarts grounds, how thrilling! Harry nearly DIES, but luckily lives to revel in the glory of amping up the Gryffindor Common Room crowd. Meanwhile, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim compete to see who can tell the most compelling Microwave Minute story. ... Read more The post Take Five, Take 4.13: Goblet of Fire, 60:01-65:00...

Alice and Martha discuss everyone’s favorite Slytherin, Professor Slughorn! This giant slug loves collecting creature comforts, knows how to amp up the drama for Potions class, and doesn’t mess around with Death Eaters or the likes of Abraxas Malfoy.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics...

It’s another mouse book this week! Alice and Martha discuss The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary. Ralph might not be quite as sweet as Remy, but he’s miles ahead of Stuart… and remember, mice grow up much faster than human boys! #boymouse In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and... Read more The post Into the Pensieve: T...

Yes, it really has taken three character studies to analyze Seamus’s complex arc! In this episode, Seamus “apologizes” to Harry for the error of his ways, leaving Harry free to angle for his approval once again.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically....

Alice and Martha discuss Seamus in the fourth and fifth books. His storyline picks up speed as we meet his mom (or possibly a paid Craigslist actor??), see his passion for Irish Quidditch, and watch as he falls victim to the Daily Prophet propaganda.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every... Read more The post Seamus Finnigan...

Kaboom! It’s time to blow some things up! Alice and Martha deviate from the official Real Weirdos list to cover Me Cousin Fergus’s cousin, Seamus Finnigan (not Finnegan) in the first three books. His “arc” may leave something to be desired, but Harry’s still all about those Seamus winks!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!... Read more The post Seamus Finn...

Alice and Martha discuss Curious George, the Man in the Yellow Hat, and H.A. and Margret Rey. Though he may not have a tail, Curious George proves to be a much more endearing main character than Stuart Little, and thankfully, he would almost certainly beat Stuart in a fight!  In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce... Read more The post Into the Pensieve: Curious George appeared first on The Re...

Alice and Martha discuss the first unnamed character to win the Real Weirdo, Canonical John Major! This isn’t a Fudge character study, and this isn’t a Scrimgeour character study, and it isn’t about the froglike man in the painting, either, although Mary GrandPre might lead us to believe otherwise. Please consider supporting us on Patreon!... Read more The post The Muggle Prime M...

Well done, Dragon! Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim have made it through the first hour of Goblet of Fire… oooOOOhhhh! Harry fights the Horntail (what’s that, boy??), Krum fights Rita, and Alice fights to understand perspective and time jumps!   Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday... Rea...

Alice and Martha enter a world which is entirely E.B. White’s own, which may or may not be a good thing. Is Stuart a mouse or not? What ever happened to Margolo? And what exactly were the publishers thinking? Stuart Little is quite the canoe ride and is nothing like the sisters remembered.  In this series,... Read more The post Into the Pensieve: Stuart Little appeared first on The Real Weir...

Alice, Martha, and Jim Dale are back to finish discussing Neville. In the seventh book, Neville becomes–there’s no other word for it–cool. As usual, this is obvious to readers through his long hair, his casual demeanor, and his habit of calling people by the first syllable of their name. Neville’s arc is one of the best... Read more The post Neville Longbottom: Charact...

Neville’s arc continues in the sixth book, though perhaps not quite as gracefully as readers might hope – there’s still plenty of falling on his back, hitting his head, and of course, lighting his own pants on fire! Though Dean might still find him hilarious, Harry, Augusta, and McGonagall seem to view Neville with a... Read more The post Neville Longbottom: Character Study, Part...

I dink it’s time for our fifth Neville character study, in fact I’b sure id is! After Christmas on the closed ward, Neville takes an “alarming” and “unnerving” turn as he becomes a master dueler, which he shows off at the Department of Mysteries — a completely error-free enterprise on Neville and all the DA... Read more The post Neville Longbottom: Charact...

It’s time for Neville Part 4, which of course covers Neville in the first half of the fifth book! Alice and Martha discuss his amazing birthday present, a potential new nickname, and the turning point for his character arc in this week’s episode.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every... Read more The post Nevill...

Alice and Martha pick up their conversation on Neville from several years ago, this time, hopefully, without repeating any content! In the fourth book, Neville continues his arc as the class dunce and is often the butt of the narrator’s jokes. But with the revelation about what happened to his parents, Harry and readers begin... Read more The post Neville Longbottom: Character Study, Part 3...

It’s time to break down everyone’s favorite dynamic duo of professors! With help from the Wiki, Alice and Martha speculate on whether old Griselda Marchbanks is really a close friend of the Malfoys, how old Professor Tofty really is, and what these two legendary proctors do for the rest of the school year.  Please consider... Read more The post Professors Tofty and Marchbanks: Cha...

Alice and Martha dive into Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey. This super cute picture book includes some yaasss queen moments, a deadbeat dad, and some questionable duck-feeding tips. In any case, it’s not The Borrowers… and that’s for the best!  In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both....

Mike NeWELL, it’s time for another Take Five! Special guest Shut Up Tim joins the sisters to discuss Moody’s transfiguration tactics and tongue antics. Find out which sister scares Tim more, and listen for a first on the Quora Question of the Week segment!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released... Read more The post Ta...