The Real Weird Sisters

Alice and Martha talk about “our” Great Aunt Muriel, the angry flamingo who is still reading everyone for filth at age 107. Though her last name is never mentioned and there’s a bit of a Charity Burbage effect with Muriel entering the series at book 6, it’s not even worth debating that she’s a better... Read more The post Aunt Muriel: Character Study appeared first on...

Charity Burbage makes her first appearance in the series in an extremely emotional moment for everyone who is attached to her. Plus, Snape shades Yaxley, Voldemort attempts a smile without lips, and a squat man gives a wheezy giggle. Oh, those Death Eaters know how to have fun!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Bo...

Another monocle-wearing bombshell has entered the villa! Madam Bones presides over the Wizengamot while Harry stands trial and Dumbledore keeps him in the dark. Plus, Fudge has some interesting word choices, which lead to a better-than-average band/album name selection!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special to...

Our Real Weird Queen makes her first appearance on One Page at a Time, and Alice and Martha stand with Parvati and hope she stays, that woman! Malfoy does some sniping, Harry defends Hagrid, and the girls get a chance to bond with the unicorns on the 440th page of Goblet of Fire. Please consider... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Book 4, Page 440 appeared first on The Real Weird Sisters .

Follow Alice and Martha up close as they dive into the Dementor’s maw, and Harry almost gets his first kiss. On this episode of One Page at a Time, explore dementors’ origins and Mary’s questionable wardrobe choices for Harry.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics... Read more The...

Happy birthday, Shandy and Alicia! That’s right, Alice and Martha’s second task prediction came true as Harry fights off green-bearded mermen to be a hero. What are the other champions playing at?? Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to... Read...

Alice and Martha return to One Page at a Time to discuss Ron’s arachnophobia origin story and Myrtle’s gloomy bathroom. Plus, join the sisters on a deep dive into the history of the teddy bear!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically.... Read more The post...

Get out your Quick Quotes Quill! Alice and Martha resume conversation about Rita Skeeter in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books. From her one quality interview of Harry to her remarkably quick 900-page book on Dumbledore, the beetle isn’t kept at bay very long!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released... Read more The post Rit...

Special guest Shut Up Tim joins Alice and Martha again to discuss another riveting five minutes! Dumbledore gives an impassioned warning to the students, Rupert Grint tricks Daniel Radcliffe into some actual acting, and McGonagall catches Roger Davies making questionable choices. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters  New episodes are released every Monday...

Alice and Martha discuss everyone’s favorite “journalist,” Rita Skeeter, as she makes her first appearances of the series. From her coverage of the events at the World Cup to her slander of Hermione, Harry, and Hagrid, Rita makes a splash in the fourth book!   Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released... Read mo...

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the minute Tim thought was supposed to be on the last Take Five, as well as the four minutes after that! Draco breaks Harry’s nose very convincingly, Luna practices mending bones, and Flitwick doesn’t recognize Harry (or does he?). At least that’s... Read more The post Take Five, Take 6.6: Half-Blood Prince, 25:0...

Who is the little old man with Harry’s knobbly knees? Why is Harry’s entire extended family dead? Does the Lily and James timeline even make sense? Alice and Martha discuss all the important questions about the Mirror of Erised on this week’s One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New... Read more The post One Page at at Tim...

Aunt Marge arrives at the Dursleys, who were damn good to take Harry in! Alice and Martha discuss Dursley family dynamics, Colonel Fubster, Ripper and more on this week’s episode!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to... Read more...

Alice and Martha return with special guest Shut Up Tim, who definitely understands the concept of five minutes and who takes copious noootes to prepare for each episode! There’s some great writing and acting in these five minutes, as well as pygmy puffs, nargles, and Peruvian Instant Darkness powder!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon!... Read more The post Take Five, Take 6.5: H...

Alice and Martha discuss the first of Hagrid’s tales, as he tells Harry the story of Lily and James’ murder with some interesting “insights” into what may have happened that night. Get ready for some amazing Hagrid impressions and even though they might have cookies, don’t be tempted to go to the dark side!  Please... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Book...

Alice and Martha follow Harry and Dumbledore into a world entirely their own, as Dunderbore – sorry, Dumberton, meets young Tom Riddle for the first time.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make... Read more The post...

Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the next five minutes of Half-Blood Prince. Bellatrix and her real weird Cissy head to Spinner’s End to make the Unbreakable Vow, Snape enjoys the summer by connecting with his Muggle roots, and Harry gets a taste of the Weasleys’... Read more The post Take Five, Take 6.4: Half-Blood Prince, 15:00-20:00 appe...

A little less Michael Gambon and a little more Hedwig makes for a slightly better five minutes for Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss this week! Harry makes his way to the Burrow, via side-along (?) apparition. You’d think Mrs. Weasley would know if Harry Potter was in her house, and... Read more The post Take Five, Take 6.3: Half-Blood Prince, 10:00-15:00 appeared first...

Sirius dusts off his voice on this week’s episode, as Alice and Martha enter the Shrieking Shack (mansion?) to hear all about how Sirius survived and escaped the very realistic Azkaban prison. Plus, Hermione manages not to be annoying, and Lupin enters teacher mode with some excellent classroom management skills. Please consider supporting us on... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Boo...

Alice, Martha, and SPECIAL GUEST Shut Up Tim discuss the second five minutes of Half-Blood Prince, which sees Harry taking Dumbledore’s arm off to Budleigh Babberton, Dumbledore channeling his inner Sanguini, and David Yates quickly turning into David Yikes.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters  New episodes are released every Monday and speci...

How very right Alice and Martha were about the first single-digit One Page at a Time! “Jim Dale” gets to do the full narration this week, as Mr. Dursley drifts into an uneasy sleep and the cat on the wall doesn’t move an inch (wow!). Dumbledore stomps down the Privet Drive runway, and while we’re... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Book 1, Page 8 appeared first on Th...

Nearly Headless Nick has his 500th Deathday Party upstaged by not only the Headless Hunt, but Myrtle and Peeves as well on this week’s One Page at a Time! Find out whether or not Jacob’s sibling is a ghost, whether or not Mary would be capable of drawing flying moldy peanuts, and which memes fit... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Book 2, Page 135 appeared first on The Real Weir...

Firenze comes galloping in to save Divination! Alice and Martha discuss his CGI movie portrayal, the likelihood of teenagers swooning over a centaur, and an “I love magic!” moment on this week’s One Page at a Time. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are... Read more The post On...

Did a veela send a blast out into the universe? Alice and Martha make some confident (not necessarily correct) assertions about the movie, forget to give a moral of the week, and test out lots of character impressions on this week’s One Page at a Time!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Book...

Alice and Martha break down the most fun and hilarious page yet! Dumbledore senses traces of magic in a very mysterious manner, Harry brags about his fitness and his youth, and Voldemort once again fails to realize that physical pain is not the worst thing in the world.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters... Read more The post One Page at at Time: Book...