The Ready for Polyamory Podcast

"I feel like you're telling me a true story here-" Laura and David answer the important questions about application and theory of Relationship Anarchy in this week's episode. So what is Relationship Anarchy? In the most basic and technical sense it’s the application of political anarchy theory to relationships. It’s anti-hierarchy, anti-government intervention in relationships, pro-autonomy, pro-c...

"Externally, I haven't changed much - I'm always going to be a possum in goth makeup - but internally I'm very different than just a few years ago and learning these coping skills is a lot of it." This week, Laura and Orphne sit down and discuss how people process difficult emotions and conflicts, and talk particularly about processing through externalizing problems and working through them with o...

"I just want to note, after giving so many lectures the past few months and being asked a lot about being a 'good poly person' - there isn't one - the points don't matter." This week, Laura sits down with Jessica Fern, author of Polysecure , to discuss attachment theory, trauma, and secure relating in polyamorous networks. Their conversation roams across the book and the topic. If you aren't at al...

"No, no, no - I really like orgasms. We need to bring those back." To kick of Season 3 of the podcast, Rachael Rose of [Hedonish](hedonish.com) is here to talk about sex education, event planning, disability, accessibility, and how her polyamorous journey has been shaped by the conjunction of all of these. We discuss the ways the pandemic has impacted everyday accessibility of certain spaces and a...

This week, in the last episode of season 2, I talked with Seva about different ways that polyamory can serve as a format to work through personal insecurities. Obviously, this is a subject everyone approaches in their own way, and we primarily speak through the lens of personal experiences and a little bit through theory in this episode. We focus on: -the concept of security vs insecurity in gener...

"I'm definitely not a lawyer, but even if I were, you'd give better legal advice than me" - a line I edited out, but Ken did say. Just so you all know. Even his ego has limits. He's only a fake doctor. In today's episode, we examine real legal progress made by polyamorous people and relationships in the USA, and how hypothetical additional progress might work out. Content Warning: There's a little...

"This episode might have different Venn diagram of listeners than my class usually does." Content warning for allusions to BDSM and sexual interaction, but there is not explicit sexual content in this episode. Laura gives a personal account plus theory discussion of boundary setting and considerations folks might want to take when engaging in power exchange relationships and polyamory at the same...

Why We Fight and How We Make Up "What if your partner made you a bouquet of spoons?" This week on the Ready for Polyamory Podcast, Laura talks with Orphne Sicarius, an awesome person who keeps their internet presence pseudonymous because their in-person work as coordinator and clinician for a county-wide Forensic Nurse Examiner Program for living victims of violent sexual trauma requires a certain...

"Isn't that cat toes?" Today, in the second half of their conversation, our heroes from last week continue on their epic Quest For Answers About Coming Out. ...Wait, wrong genre. They do have a nice conversation including a bunch of strategies for how to handle situations where folks have negative or shocked reactions to information on polyamory, as well as some funny stories about people getting...

"Did we really need to know this? We knew you were weird." On today's episode, the first half of a really great roundtable discussion on coming out between my metamour Daniel GreenWolf and a group of my friends, Seva, Corwin, Jami, and Brian, moderated by your stalwart host. We try to show a variety of experiences with the process of coming out as polyamorous, altered by sexual orientation, family...

"When you step in dog shit, you don't throw your shoes out, you clean the shit off." Laura and guests, Gina, Sarah, Corwin, and Ken (all friends of the Ready for Polyamory blog, some previous guests of the podcast) discuss the importance of being aware of your own personal boundaries and the multitude of shapes those can take in this week's episode. All of our relationships are shaped by the inter...

"Remind me not to go to any of YOUR soirées." In today's episode Laura and Corwin tear apart the tropes and stereotypes in the second half of season 1 of Showtime's Polyamory: Married and Dating. If you'd like to watch along, anywhere you can stream showtime shows, be it an individual app or adding the channel to Amazon or Hulu accounts, will get you access. We're discussing episodes 4-7 today; yo...

"I mean, really I just want to scream it from the rooftops that I love these humans - that's my important thing." The Relationship Escalator ( https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/post/the-relationship-escalator ) is a strong cultural imperative even beyond monogamous culture to make sure your relationship keeps "going somewhere"- that you go through all the steps of dating, "getting serious," gettin...

"PS: I FOUND THE GUY!" 2020 has been defined, in large part, by the COVID-19 pandemic and precautions the population at large has taken to prevent its spread. How have these affected polyamorous relationships and networks? Have there been greater numbers of breakups? Have lockdown orders strengthened some relationships and weakened others? Our guest this week is a polyamorous event organizer in hi...

"Look, let's use an example that has nothing to do with polyamory - Let's talk about TERFs." Laura talks with Dr. Liz Powell (despite the best efforts of the local cable internet monopoly to make it impossible to do so) about hierarchies in polyamorous networks. They touch on reasons people often enter their polyamorous journies with prescriptive hierarchies in place, and what the distinction of u...

"One of those is your boyfriend, one of those is your husband, one is your best friend, and one has been your lover for the last 15 years" Kimota Tigerlily and Laura discuss different forms of ethical non-monogamy, how polyamory has become a catch-all term for all of them, the ways this is good and bad for polyamorous visibility, and how our guest could have four relationships all called best frie...

You all may remember that Laura wrote a bit of a screed against polyamorous representation in media on the blog on April 20 called " Advertising Polyamory" because she was getting annoyed at white FFM triads getting all the press. You may recently have read Ken's post about positive news media on polyamory this week, ["In the News: How the media Perception of Polyamory is good, actually." ]( www.r...

Today's guests are my metamours Daniel Greenwolf and Vanessa/Bella Greenwolf, discussing the relationship spectrum of parallel to kitchen table polyamory, how relationship definitions get slippery, why they think that makes them kind of useless for most people, and why the semantics are, in my opinion, kind of important anyway, because both agreeing you're "kitchen table polyamorous" and meaning t...

This episode was meant to be centered on finding local community, meeting people near you, integrating into new polyamorous social circles, and so on - and went rather off the rails because I invited a very old friend to do it with me. Talya recently re-relocated (she was kind of migratory for a while) to Mexico City, and is exploring polyamory in that cultural context in a more serious way for th...

Laura and Seva discuss the good, the bad, and the meh, as regards relationships with metamours. Mostly an interview of Seva and discussion of the past. The ladies largely agree that 80-90% of metamour relationships are good to "meh", and bad relationships are few and farther between, as well as often being initiated by partners or "partner problems, rather than meta problems." Small content warnin...

Laura and her friend Olivia discuss Ambiamory, the ability to go between polyamory and monogamy as a matter of choice rather than orientation. (Giving full credit where credit is due, the term seems to have been coined by Page Turner of Poly. Land) Olivia is not out in all aspects of her life and all her projects as ambiamorous and pansexual, and so she isn't sharing her project links, but would l...

Warning: discussion of some adult situations as portrayed on an explicit television show. If frank discussion of human sexuality or its misuse by a television network for cheap entertainment offends you, do not listen to this episode. Corwin and Laura take apart all the ways the 2012 Season 1 Episodes 1-3 of Polyamory: Married and Dating portray polyamory negatively, or as a stereotyped joke, whil...

Compersion is typically defined in the polyamorous community as happiness at the happiness of one's partner with their other partner(s). Some people go so far as to use the phrase "the opposite of jealousy." Laura discusses the concept, the possibility of broadening this definition to "positive empathy for one's partner" and whether that waters down the concept too far (and if so, if we need the c...

Jealousy is a very human emoition, and one that doesn't go away just because you decide that you're polyamorous. This week, we examine it, reasons one might feel it, and ways to cope with it, in two conversations with an old friend and a metamour of mine, both polyamorous for between 6 and 7 years. On the [blog]( www.readyforpolyamory.com ), you can find resources on jealousy under the "Jealousy"...

Polyamorous triads are an occasionally contentious topic within the community because they're many people's entry point in but often also challenging - and, as people's entry point, much like high school sweethearts, it often doesn't work out, but for a select few it does. Today's guest is one of those select few. Daniel GreenWolf joins Laura Boyle for a discussion of triad relationships, their ch...