The Ready for Polyamory Podcast

Do you hear words like "compersion" and "metamour" and cringe internally? Or are you someone who is excited to have in-group markers like talking about a Kitchen Table relationship? This episode talks about when these terms are useful, when they're less so, why we use them, and the definitions of some of the most common ones. I maintain the most frequently cited Polyamory Glossary online, at https...

In a conversation that ranges a little beyond both books, Laura and Andrea Zanin discuss: What is Post-Non-Monogamy? Does it matter whether non-monogamy is an identity? What benefit can we glean from a post-non-monogamous identity? What are some reasons one might be post-non-monogamous? The flexibility of this concept and identity More than two, second edition, and what parts of it Andrea is most...

Eve Rickert, co-author of both editions of More Than Two, is on the show to discuss the process of creating More Than Two, Second Edition, what about it is different, why a second edition, and more. You can get More Than Two, Second Edition anywhere books are sold, with the official release date Sept 2, but preorder from the links provided by Thornapple Press here to support them: https://thornapp...

"In Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler has that affirmation, change is the only constant - and I think that's an important way to look at these life transitions. We can't be trying to stop change from happening, for us or for our kids." Libby Sinback of Making Polyamory Work sits down with Laura in this episode to discuss big life changes this week, and how they affect us, as polyamorous folks -...

Laura sits down with Evie Lupine to discuss kink, asexuality, and non-monogamy and polyamory and how these intersect for Evie as well as the larger community. Evie shares her experience as an asexual person who finds that a lot of nonmonogamous dating includes "the social dance where people expect the first date to be a nicety they must complete to get to the sex"; and "even folks who express a lo...

Laura sits down with Alex Alberto, author of Entwined to discuss the new memoir, polyamorous media representation, storytelling, and more. Buy Entwined: Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home. Paperback, ebook, and audiobook available. Direct from Alex | Support them! Bookshop.org | Support indie bookstores! Amazon | If you must. Subscribe to Entwined Mag for stories of polyamory, friendship, and f...

Evita Sawyers has been polyamorous for over a decade and is a relationship coach who is well known for creating the instagram series "Today's Polyamory Reminder." Her book "A Polyamory Devotional," out October 20 from Thornapple Press, is 365 daily prompts for thinking through different issues and angles of interpersonal relating, filtered through a lens of nonmonogamy. On today's episode she disc...

So much of polyamorous cohabitation advice implies that space is easy to come by - that you just have a guest room, or that it's simple to have silence or an extra floor to go to. But for many polyamorists this isn't the case, logistically. In cities and apartment living especially, space, distance, and existing parallel to your partners' relationships can feel like imaginary concepts that maybe o...

Polysaturation is the state of realizing you have enough relationally - that more would be too much. This can be a really beautiful, welcome thing - or a really challenging one. It can make folks feel like they've done something wrong and that's why their internal warning lights about energy or capacity to handle issues with partners are going off. The answer is seldom simple - these are people we...

"Matrescence - the process of becoming a mother - is something we only talk about in the most glorified tone culturally, and it is in fact really difficult and isolating and kind of awful - and holding that duality can be enormously challenging and shameful for moms who already lack support." "I talk about non-monogamy in the book both because I’m from the Bay Area and it’s everywhere but also bec...

"Both these dynamics - D/s and polyamory - are emotional edgeplay, are like peeling a layer of your skin back, and there’s so much growth and power to be found in continuing to engage there." Writing Spicy registration closes October 5, 2023, and runs October 6 - November 19, 2023 - More information & register at - http://writingspicy.com/ On September 19, Laura is teaching Negotiation for Edg...

"I need to have a word with the people at Netflix about teasing polyamory" "Books are just leaps and bounds ahead of tv in representation, so my standards are way higher" In today's episode, Laura and Abbie of PolyAnarchy discuss polyamorous representation in various tv properties and books. Their favorites include the book To Shape a Dragon's Breath and they universally pan what they term "all th...

"You need the self-awareness and the meta-communication to make using the tools easier for you. It's about waking up to doing it intentionally." "In my romantic relationships and my friendships, I feel so empowered in my communication - we have so many tools we can turn to." The new book from Dedeker, Emily and Jase of Multiamory is a tool kit for communication in relationships of all kinds. In to...

Laura speaks with Jessica Fern and David Cooley about their new book, PolyWise, paradigm shifts for folks making changes in non monogamous relationships, and restorative rather than punitive views of conflict. They discuss why the authors included so many different psychological modalities and approaches in their book, the value of different tools for folks encountering big transitions in relation...

"The relationship they need to feel secure is not always the one you need to deescalate to the 'good parts' of your relationship with them." "It can be really triggering to watch someone greive so outwardly about someone else and their relationship while you're still with them." Leanne Yau of PolyPhiliaBlog guests on this week's episode to discuss her recent breakup and breakups in general, and wh...

"Start the revolution from your affections is an imperfect translation, but it's as close as we could get to the idea that we don't want freedom from our bonds, we want freedom made by our bonds" "Relationship Anarchy is essentially the everyday decision to make visible and question all of the presumptions that underlie all our relationships." If you find discussions of Relationship Anarchy to be...

Content Warning: we discuss abusive relationships, and (without details) sexual assault and the process of reporting and discussing such incidents in community and with organizations that were around us at that time. Folks should use their discretion in deciding if this is an episode they can listen to and when they should do so. "A lot of survivors get given the impression they can't be non-monog...

"The definition I prefer to use is that abuse is a pattern of behavior with the design, intent, or consequence of making someone unable to leave a situation." "We need to expand our conceptions of abuse because so many support systems are using methods of understanding that are heteronormative and based entirely on married people, much less mononormative." CW: this episode speaks about patterns of...

Content Warning: throughout this episode, we speak frankly of forms of emotional, financial, and physical abuse. There is no particularly graphic content and the episode is "safe for work" in a traditional sense, but it may be triggering to some listeners and begins with a similar audio content warning. Listen at a time and in a place when you have the capacity to care for yourself, especially if...

Non-monogamy is a big umbrella! polyamory isn't the only thing that falls under it. Often, folks can be a little Holier-than-thou (polier-than-thou?) about their nonmonogamy, implying that polyamory is more evolved than other kinds of consensual non-monogamy or being decidedly sex-negative when they learn that folks entered their nonmonogamous journey from opening to swinging or being "monogamish"...

"It's really just a matter of making sure people really see me, Ebony, and me includes non-binary identity as well as the experience of Black womanhood." "It's been one thing to have issues in dating, but more than wrong pronouns or disrepect from partners, it's been metamours seeing me as a woman because of shared partners." In response to listener questions about non-binary experience in a polya...

"My relationship structure now is significantly less hierarchical than it was when my partner and I came back to polyamory with one another." "Dangling possibilities for years is just so much worse than admitting 'this is a thing that I cannot offer." Laura and Amy discuss the practical applications of hierarchy - whether strictly applied or tacitly existing, and ways that it can be both positive...

"It's just been wild to see the explosion of representation of polyamory on tv the last few years." "When I started my polyamory in media series there were like 2 movies and me digging for 30 year old comics and 60 year old books, and now there is so much available." Laura and Abbie sit down to talk about recent tv series portraying polyamory (and other nonmonogamy and how the two get conflated in...

“I find that minimizing other relationships doesn’t do what people think it will- you have to move through discomfort anyway.” “If you can’t talk about a kind of sex or a relationship style with the people you want it with, you may not be ready to have it.” On today's podcast, Laura sits down with Yana Tallon-Hicks, LMFT, to discuss the comforts and complications of polyam relationship networks wh...

"We don't automatically or invisibly put expectations on each other - that leads to resentment and conflict." "To heck with the hyper independent BS - community and the autonomous individual existing together is where it's at." Laura and Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian chat about solopolyamorous dating, creating symbolism in your relationships, and the cocreation of expectations within a re...