The Puzzling Evidence Show - Remixed!

Hedley Lamar's pocket lipstick cell phone buys old movie talk from the Boys until it gives way to a Colonel Sanders talk-fest back when there was only 5 herbs and no spices, the col sold his 1st empty bucket at 12 years old until he thought of putting a live chicken in it. Egg Dough Boiling grease finger licking mixed with 3 more herbs and 1 spice with more dough covered live chicken. Our assuranc...

The Show opens with Hal's Pocket Spider scuttling in and out of his pants because yesterday was the 49th. Then Your Hard-Hitting Bleeding-Edge Wide-Eye-Ball News Team Delivers the Up-To-The-Minute Cutting-Edge-News both Bad/Good and Other. Callers collide, rules for having sex with Show Squid are enumerated. Shoeing formerly useless barefoot appendages. General Hal's irritating King Loud backgroun...

Boss Stang A Short Story by Little Philo Drummond Ivan Stang had always hated Dobbstown's pobuckery Main Kitchen with its dangerous, deadly, bloody Knife Cellar. But it was a place where he felt threatened yet relaxed. He was a bossy, incredulous, hot buttered rum martini drinker with giant stinky armpits and midgety butt cheeks. His friends saw him as a salty, cantankerous old skull farmer. Once,...

The night of the X-Day changes everything for Puzzling Evidence, a 77-year-old Show Host from Dobbstown. One moment, he is discussing cheeses with his wealthy Uncle, Philo Drummond; the next, watching with horror as reprehensible Bobbies grundle each other. He knows these Bobbies came from Mountain Home but he can't prove it - at least not without some poisonous phonebooks. The Puzzling Evidence R...

Dr. Hal continues to demonstrate extreme Speed-Sleeping, Puzzling and Philo frop until almost 4:00am. The callers are starting to adapt. Puzzling's mix from HOS X-Days past mashed-up their faces as to make carbon-dating practically impossible. SHOCK SHOW: Dr. Hal, Philo and Puzzling decide just to throw down the gauntlet and to go all the way to wall with the callers. The Puzzling Evidence Radio S...

The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the parts of a groundbreaking radio show. But the parts belong to a 1960 Rambler and we're gonna sell 'em on E-Bay and get rich. Tonight, the callers are pro-actively non-existent. Then Dr. Hal demonstrates extreme Sleep-Speaking, Puzzling and Philo GROK until almost 4:00am. Then the callers become repetitive and indistinct. The Puzzling Evidenc...

The Show immediately goes rogue and starts out teasing "The Boys" by disassembling itself and hiding the important parts under the board.  The Boys spend many fruitless seconds researching alternate locations of the recalcitrant Show parts. Then when it gets too hot, the Show starts crying like a little girl and extinguishes the fire with its tears. But why do they keep talking to this "Steve...

Philo, Puzzling and Hal tell the tale of "drugs and sales" to provide a partial history of sacks and bags; Inhibiting Factor describes his Hot Rod while Callers try to redirect the Show. Incredulity gives way to mundaninity. Puzz Ev re-lectures the callers. The Boys steel themselves for Dream Fluff disappointment again (particularly for Philo's progeny). The Callers vote to start a riot in order t...

Puzz Ev uncovers a legend about a cursed, tattered sandwich circulating throughout Dobbstown. As soon as anyone uses the sandwich, he or she has exactly 399 days left to live. It makes a person feel like a hairy maggot to touch OR a giant gerbil balancing on a newspaper headline about a crocodile taming accident OR a hooded ostrich ranting about eyebrows. Puzzling notices his warts also have magic...

Philo had always loved Dobbstown with its freshly-landed Flying  Saucers. It was a place where he felt thoughtless; a trustworthy,  misaligned, whisky drinker with a massive butt and too-tall nuts. His  friends saw him as a sticky saint. Once, he had even revived a dying,  old baby toddler. That's the sort of man he was. Then he saw  something in the distance, or rather so...

In search of Pink infestations, Puzzling Evidence surprises even himself with his mind-over-matter tricks and skill as a Jerk Botherer.  Ensconced, Puzzling rescues a 7-Bladed Windbreaker, an heirloom stolen by Bishop Joey. When Bishop refuses to try napping, Puzzling balks. However, Bishop is wounded at the Battle of the 12 Idiots and the two reconcile just before Puzzling engages in some se...

Whilst investigating the death of a local supervisor, a courageous muleskinner named Philo Drummond uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, weathered gun circulating  throughout Antarctica. As soon as anyone uses the gun, he or she has  exactly 199 days left to live. The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life,  but when photographed, they look shadow...

Dr. Hal conversing with his Aunt Bertha; "Auntie, what do you think of contented noses?" "Er... I don't know dear." "What about my tender lid? Some say its like a scrawny dog." "Um..." "Do you think my feathers are like an ugly teapot?" "Where on earth did you hear a thing like that?" "Philo says that my top is like a hilly newspaper that likes singing admiringly whilst waving its toenails." "That...

This show starts amicably enough when our knife-happy hero, Philo, wakes up in a magical cornfield. After a nice breakfast of fresh corn, a deranged caller suddenly challenges the Boys to a rumble. Out of nowhere, Hal laughs mockingly.  Detailing their brutal response, Philo slaps a dangerous oil-soaked marmot, mutilates a shoe, and monitors a previously unknown appendage. PuzzEv just laughs...

During a worldwide budget defecate shortage, Dr. Hal and Philo deconstruct a Sick Indian Death Artisans' Jewel-laden Mammal-like Owlish beaked so-called insult to nature while ensconced in their fungus shrouded cushions and sipping hot toddies. Then they bust out real hard on poor old John Hancock. Meanwhile, touchingly, Puzzling reveals a secret hidden marmot and teaches an important lesson on fo...

Phantom limbs have been turning up all over Berkeley and the callers are scared. 10 murders in 2 weeks, all committed with a Hemorrhoid Gun, and still no clues. Puzzling "Bob" Evidence is a happy go lucky radio cult leader with a fondness for Frog Storms. When his Uncle Philo is kidnapped, Puzzling finds himself thrown into the center of the investigation. His only clue is a massive Hemorrhoid. He...

The Boys took turns reading the entire Bible loudly while Puzzling Evidence suspected something was a off when his callous uncle Philo tried to club him at the age of 6. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other "humans". When he bumped into the malicious yeti, Dr. Hal, his life finally began to make sense. However, Dr. Hal seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with biting people...

Puzzling Evidence had always loved infested Turdwallowton with its  determined, dry ditches. It was a place where he felt doubtful. He was a raunchy, interminable, Hot buttered rum martini drinker with a hairy ass and bald elbows. His friends saw him as a grieving, grim giant squid. Once, he had even helped a disgusted giant toddler cross  the road. That's the sort of man he was. Puzzlin...

I used to be a computer technician on pirate ship, with my statue, until the plague, thought Philo. When that man, that Puzzling Evidence with his thing of obsession, and his hideous tome and putrid canine feces chapeau. Dr. Hal was the enemy of ignorance when the callers died for our faith, and that's when everything went wrong. "It was just supposed to be a a simple hyperspace beacon but Dr. Dru...

It all started when our (former porn) star, Puzzling Evidence, woke up in a hyena-infested moor. It wasn't the first time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly stunned, Puzzling Evidence stroked a wolverine, with little or no succor. A few unfulfilling decades later, he realized that his beloved Vintage Walkman was missing!  Immediately he called his parole officer, Dr. Howll who had to make an...

The the Boys flip the trip-tick dip-switch next to the Dipwytch dip-stick on the good stuff. Callers weigh-in on seemingly endless unmemorable non-topics as they battle over supremacy of the shallow end of the caller pool. Question Girl gets a few questions in. Get your red hot Subgenius Skull Farming Tree Walking Brain Socket Doktors Improvisational Live Radio Show Streaming Consciouslessness Liv...

After the safety break, Dr. Howll and Philo's attempts to scuttle the ensuing pseudo-new-age downer mood prove fruitless and pulls them both into a miasma of touchy feeliness. As the downwardly spiraling vortex begins to coalesce, the boys desperately inject it with heavy doses of SubGenius Obfuscation. But will it work? Can the Show be restored to its former irrelevance without letting go of its...

'...What's that smell?' Philo felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Puzzling asked this. Philo calmly assured him that most albino cats sigh before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually flamboyantly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Puzzling Evidence because he had found Puzzling's tape deck only 5 days prior. It all started wh...