The Psychology of Relationships

Most of us grow up believing love should feel effortless if we meet the “right” person. But many of the relationship stories we absorb through romcoms and pop culture don’t actually reflect how healthy relationships work. Relationship scientists Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel join Julie & Yue to unpack what movies get right—and wrong—about attraction, compatibility, and long-term connection. Tog...

Communication is often called the foundation of healthy relationships—but most people were never actually taught how to communicate effectively when emotions run high. Sandy Weiner, relationship coach, author, and host of The Last First Date Radio podcast, joins Julie & Yue to explore the four communication archetypes and what they reveal about the way we handle conflict, emotional triggers, a...

The biggest factor shaping your relationships may not be the other person—it may be the version of you that shows up in connection. Lair Torrent, LMFT and author of The Practice of Love , joins Julie & Yue to explore the different “parts” of ourselves that emerge in dating and relationships, from grounded and open to anxious or guarded. He explains how past experiences and emotional patterns i...

Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences in relationships—but the psychology behind why people cheat is often far more complex than betrayal alone. Dr. Nicolle Zapien, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist, joins Julie & Yue to unpack the emotional, relational, and psychological factors that can lead to infidelity. Together, they explore what cheating reveals about attachment, un...

Love can make us believe that if the feelings are strong enough, everything else will work itself out. But lasting relationships require more than chemistry or attraction. Mark Manson, bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F ck* and Love Is Not Enough , joins Julie & Yue to unpack why people stay stuck in situationships, chase unavailable partners, or settle for relationships th...

Breakups have a way of forcing us to confront the patterns we often avoid seeing in relationships. Whether it’s a slow fade, an almost-relationship, or a breakup you never fully processed, endings can reveal a lot about attachment, emotional availability, and the dynamics we keep repeating. John Kim—licensed therapist, author of Breakup. On Purpose. , and host of The Angry Therapist podcast—joins...

Do you find yourself overthinking, seeking constant reassurance, or fearing abandonment when dating or in relationships? These patterns often signal an anxious attachment style—but anxiety doesn’t have to control your love life. In this episode, Kirstie Taylor, dating coach, writer, and author of What I Wish I Knew About Love , breaks down why anxiety heightens sensitivity to shifts in connection,...

Divorce. For some, it’s a lived experience. For others, it’s a quiet fear in the back of every serious relationship. In this episode, divorce expert and coach Alicia Robertson reframes the “D word” as a turning point rather than a failure. She explains how fear of endings can keep people stuck in misaligned relationships or avoiding love altogether, and how understanding these fears can lead to gr...

Ever feel like you keep ending up with the same “type” of partner even when it hasn’t worked out before? You might be unconsciously choosing the wrong people and repeating patterns that keep you stuck. Julie & Yue are joined by Marc Sholes, Psychotherapist and author of Reset Your Romantic GPS , to explore why we’re drawn to familiar but unfulfilling partner types. He explains the ways attachm...

Early experiences quietly shape how we attach, communicate, and handle conflict in adult relationships—without us even realizing it. In this episode, Vienna Pharaon, marriage and family therapist and author of The Origins of You, explores the five core childhood wounds many carry into adulthood. She explains how these wounds can appear as avoidance, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, or staying...

Strong, lasting relationships aren’t just about chemistry or shared interests—they’re about how we relate to each other every day. Julie & Yue sit down with Dr. Adam Bandelli, psychologist and relational intelligence expert, to dive into why relational intelligence is essential for deep, meaningful connections. He shows how tuning into your partner’s emotions, responding with empathy, and comm...

For decades, the 5 Love Languages have shaped how we understand connection—but relationships, culture, and expectations have evolved, and our framework for love might need an update. In this episode, Molly Owens, CEO and founder of Truity, introduces the 7 Love Styles, a modern evolution of how we give and receive love. She explains why love languages still resonate, where they fall short today, a...

With marriage rates on the decline, do people still want to get married—and why does it still carry so much emotional and cultural weight? In this episode, Julie & Yue sit down with Allison Raskin, mental health advocate, relationship coach, and author of I Do. I Think?: Conversations About Modern Marriage , to unpack what marriage looks like today, how societal pressures shape our choices, an...

Why are so many men struggling to connect today? And what does that mean if you’re trying to date and have relationships with men? In this episode, we’re joined by Dr. Greg Matos, psychologist and author of the viral article “What’s Behind The Rise of Lonely, Single Men,” to explore the shifting relationship standards, changing gender roles, and the widespread lack of skills—like emotional literac...

Love can feel intoxicating at the beginning—constant attention, big gestures, nonstop affection. And when it feels that good, the last thing anyone wants to question is whether it’s actually healthy. So how do you tell the difference between genuine romantic enthusiasm and manipulation disguised as devotion? In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by Dr. Diane Strachowski, licensed psychologis...

How do you actually know if someone is a good match for you—not just on paper or in the early spark, but in a way that lasts over time? So much of modern dating emphasizes chemistry, shared interests, and surface-level alignment, yet research shows those factors aren’t the strongest predictors of long-term relationship satisfaction. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by Eli Finkel, social...

Ever notice how wanting closeness can suddenly make you feel trapped or how independence can quietly turn into emotional distance? To continue the conversation from last week, Julie & Yue chat with Mark's now-wife Kylie McBeath, relationship educator, co-author of Liberated Love, and someone who didn’t just study avoidant patterns, but lived them. Kylie opens up about why she ended a relat...

When one person pulls away and the other leans in harder, the result is often frustration, confusion, and emotional exhaustion. In this episode, Julie & Yue talk with Mark Groves—human connection specialist, author, and founder of Create the Love—about what it takes to step out of the anxious–avoidant cycle and into a more secure form of partnership. Drawing from both research and lived experi...

There’s a quiet pressure many people carry: the feeling that they’re running out of time. Time to find love. Time to settle down. Time to make it all happen before the clock says otherwise. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by therapist and advocate Beth Gulotta to explore how societal timelines—especially around love, fertility, and partnership—shape our anxiety and decision-making. Thr...

You’ve probably heard of IQ and EQ—but what if the missing piece in your relationships is PQ? In this episode, Julie and Yue are joined by Shirzad Chamine, bestselling author and creator of Positive Intelligence, to unpack how our inner saboteurs quietly undermine relationships. Drawing from neuroscience and cognitive psychology, Shirzad explains why we’re wired to judge ourselves and our partners...

Relationships don’t fall apart overnight—they erode through unresolved conflict, unmet needs, and missed opportunities for repair. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by Casey and Meygan Caston from Marriage365, marriage coaches and authors of The Marriage Habit and 365 Connecting Questions for Couples , to explore how their own marriage nearly collapsed and what it took to rebuild it. Dra...

We often assume that love, marriage, or having children is the key to happiness—but research tells a more complicated story. In this episode, Julie & Yue are talking with Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale professor, psychologist, and host of The Happiness Lab, to explore the science of well-being and how that relates to our relationships with others. Drawing on decades of research, Dr. Santos explains h...

Love is supposed to feel good—so why does it so often feel confusing, activating, and emotionally exhausting? Even in the healthiest relationships, we can feel anxious, irritated, or like we’re “losing our mind,” which often leads to the quiet panic of wondering whether something is wrong with us or the relationship itself. Julie and Yue sit down with Todd Baratz, therapist and author of ‘How To L...

What if it’s not too late for love and your timeline isn’t behind but rather right on time? In this episode, Julie and Yue sit down with former CNN journalist, and newly engaged May Lee to flip the cultural myth that love has an expiration date. At 57, May got engaged for the first time, proving that societal timelines are often more limiting than reality. Drawing from her own journey and the psyc...

Money has a way of sneaking into every corner of a relationship—date nights, living arrangements, future plans, even how we argue or apologize. And yet, it’s one of the conversations couples avoid the most. In this episode, Julie and Yue chat with Netflix host, bestselling author, and creator of Money For Couples, Ramit Sethi, to unpack the psychology behind financial tension that inevitably creep...