The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

The 2006 amendments to Australia's Family Law Act were hailed as progressive reforms designed to promote children's relationships with both parents after separation. But what if these changes actually made children less safe? What if the evidence shows children were better protected before this ideological shift? In this eye-opening episode, we expose how well-intentioned policy created...

What happens when the very experts meant to protect our children can't identify the abuse that's harming them?  Australian research from the University of Queensland delivers a shocking revelation: children exposed to coercive control have more than double the odds of developing PTSD compared to their peers. The trauma isn't theoretical - it manifests as anxiety, depression, self-ha...

Navigating life after separation requires more than just knowing what your children need - it demands the capacity to advocate for them even when it's deeply uncomfortable. In this groundbreaking episode, I reveal my proprietary framework that's transformed hundreds of parents from conflict avoidant to genuinely protective. The Three Steps to Protective Parenting® framework addresses the...

Even when parenting arrangements seem impossible to change, we can strengthen our children's attachment security through consistent, attuned care during the time we do have with them. The remarkable plasticity of children's brains means attachment repair can happen at any stage when they experience responsive caregiving. • Quality of interaction matters far more than quantity of time whe...

Attachment theory is a crucial but often misunderstood concept that significantly impacts children's wellbeing after parents separate. Understanding attachment isn't about controlling access to your child, but rather protecting their fundamental developmental needs when deciding upon post-separation parenting arrangements. • Attachment is a biological survival system ensuring children st...

What if the arrangement everyone claims is "best for children" after separation is actually harming them? This provocative question forms the foundation of our deep dive into the dangerous myth of 50-50 equal shared parenting time. Drawing on Australian government-commissioned research and international studies, we expose how equal shared care arrangements can negatively impact children&...

In this episode, I pull back the curtain on my personal journey through coercive control and post-separation abuse in this raw, vulnerable episode*. I share how I met my former partner at just 17, failing to recognise the red flags of control because they mirrored dynamics that I witnessed in childhood. When I finally left the relationship when my son was 12 months old, what I thought would end th...

Ever had that gut feeling that the "professional advice" about your parenting arrangements just didn't fit your child's needs? You're not alone, and you're probably not wrong. The heartbreaking reality is that many professionals working in the separation space - lawyers, mediators, coaches, even family therapists - are operating on dangerous myths rather than developm...

Welcome back to a transformative episode after a year-long hiatus! While I've been away from the microphone, I've been deeply immersed in the trenches with my one-on-one clients, gaining invaluable insights that I'm finally ready to share with you all. Today's episode tackles a confronting question that sits at the heart of post-separation parenting: Are you a protective parent...

Ever wondered how to regain control when communicating with a controlling ex-partner? Join me, Australian Separation and Divorce Coach Danielle Black, as we discuss the insidious tactics like DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) used by these controlling personalities, and learn how their lack of empathy and pathological lying can make them seem more strategic and intelligent than the...

Join me, Australian coach Danielle Black, as I discuss how my specialised coaching approach prioritises the well-being of both you and your children, equipping you with the tools to set firm boundaries and effectively engage with the legal system after separation.   I delve into the unique benefits of one-on-one coaching, supplemented by the camaraderie of group membership, and discuss how weekly...

Can you truly distinguish personality disorders from PTSD and CPTSD, or are the lines more blurred than we think? Join me, Danielle Black, as I unravel the complexities of these conditions, shedding light on how traits like mood swings, depression, and emotional dysregulation overlap in CPTSD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). I discuss the critical role of accurate diagnosis and effective...

What happens when we hastily label our abusive ex-partners as narcissists? Join me, specialist Australian Separation & Divorce Coach Danielle Black, as I explore the critical differences between narcissistic traits and true personality disorders in abusive relationships. We'll uncover the fact that most abusive male behaviours stem from perceived male entitlement  rather than clinical dis...

This episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, hosted by Danielle Black, promises to tackle the disturbing realities of abusive and neglectful parenting. Learn how controlling and abusive parents manipulate their children through tactics like 'infantilisation' and 'parentification'. Discover the emotional toll these harmful behaviours take on the children, making them bear...

Can cultural and spiritual beliefs be weaponised against you, even after a relationship ends? On this episode of the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast with Danielle Black, discover how abusers manipulate cultural and religious values to maintain control and inflict pain post-separation. Learn how these manipulative tactics can manifest, from undermining your religious beliefs to preventing your childr...

Ever felt trapped in your own life due to someone else's control over your finances? Discover the insidious world of economic and financial abuse as we unveil tactics that can keep you chained to a controlling partner long after separation. This week, I open up about my own struggle with grief after losing a  family member and the importance of taking time to care for ourselves, especially wh...

Have you ever felt like your role as a parent is constantly being sabotaged by your ex? The struggle is real! Controlling and abusive former partners can use both overt and covert strategies to undermine your parenting—like the "Disneyland dad" phenomenon and turning special occasions into battlegrounds.   In listening to his episode you'll learn how to spot these patterns.  Remembe...

Welcome.   I'm Danielle Black, and today we're  exploring the manipulative tactics used by controlling abusers who weaponise children in their ongoing power struggles.  We'll uncover how these abusers, masking their self-interest as parental concern, often disregard their children’s emotional well-being and developmental needs.  With heartfelt gratitude, I'm also sharing a glim...

Help me to shatter the silence surrounding post-separation abuse as I reveal the unseen struggles that many victim-survivors face.  In this episode I expose the stark reality of how  manipulative and controlling men brand themselves as victims, and attempt to turn friends, family, and even professionals into unwitting accomplices.  This episode is a clarion call for community action and solidarity...

Every day, women across Australia are grappling with the crushing weight of domestic violence, and their cries for help are too often muffled by a system that seems to favor the abuser.  The harsh reality is that our society burdens women with the responsibility for men's violence, and men's emotions when they struggle with being held accountable. So many victim-survivors courageously ad...

In this episode I peel back the layers of manipulation and control that continue long after a relationship ends. We're not just talking about anger-fueled outbursts; this is a strategic game of blame-shifting and reality distortion that abusers play to maintain their grip on victims.  This episode is a deep exploration into the ways abusers enlist friends, family, and even legal systems to up...

As your navigator through the stormy seas of post-separation abuse, I'm here to shine a light on the often unseen tactics abusers wield to keep their grip on power. Together, we'll uncover how subtle acts of intimidation and control can persist long after a relationship's end.  By recognising these often covert strategies, you'll arm yourself with the knowledge needed to begin...

This episode reveals how abusers wield systems and institutions as tools of manipulation, continuing to torment their former partners long after the separation.  Join me as I dissect the underbelly of family violence's evolution into post-separation abuse, shining a light on the patterns perpetrators use to engage and exhaust their former partners. Where using systems and institutions is conc...

Discover the transformative path to empowerment after a break from a restrictive or abusive relationship. With me, Danielle Black, as your guide, this episode promises insights and strategies for harnessing the power of positive thinking to reclaim control over your life. We tackle the essential actions for laying a foundation for a healthier future, such as seeking professional coaching, finding...

Growing up in the 80s meant boundaries were often blurred or altogether nonexistent for many of us, myself included.  Today, I'm sharing my journey and the crucial lessons learned about the importance of establishing healthy boundaries for and with our children.  As a Separation, Divorce, and Co-Parenting Coach, I've seen firsthand the transformative power of teaching kids to tune in to...