The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

If you have been listening to our Working As Intended series, and you have been quietly wondering "if lawyers were never trained in what my children need, and I have to bring all of that myself, do I even need a lawyer at all?" - this episode is the rest of the answer. Danielle opens with information that she hasn't shared on the podcast before - the fact that when she was dragged i...

If you've been with Danielle across this series, you now know how the family law system in Australia was built, what its practitioners were and were not trained to know, and how to test whether anyone in the post-separation space is genuinely child-focused.  This final episode of Working As Intended brings the arc to ground. You still need a lawyer. You still have to work with these professio...

"Child-focused."  Two words that appear on the website of virtually every practitioner in the post-separation space.  Every lawyer.  Every mediator.  Every divorce coach.  Every family therapist.  Every family report writer.  The language is everywhere - and in part 3 of Working As Intended , Danielle walks you through how to tell, in thirty seconds, whether the person using those two wo...

Nine hundred and fifty dollars. An online module and a one-day workshop. That's the specialist training that qualifies a family lawyer to represent your child's best interests in court - and that's the starting point for part 2 of Working As Intended . In this episode, Danielle walks through the structural reality of Independent Children's Lawyer accreditation in Australia, inc...

What your family lawyer was taught - and what they weren't.  The first of four episodes on the architecture of the Australian family law system.  Eleven mandatory areas of study to be admitted as a lawyer in Australia. Family law isn't one of them. The system isn't rigged. It isn't broken. It's working exactly as it was designed to - and the problem is what it was designed...

"Parental alienation" is one of the most weaponised terms in family law. In this episode, Danielle Black takes the term apart, puts something more precise in its place - and explains why the protective parents on the receiving end of those accusations are almost never the ones doing the harm. Your child loves you. They may simply not feel safe to love you. This is the reframe I want ever...

"Coercive control" has entered the mainstream - and started to lose its precision. This episode brings it back: what coercive control actually is, what it isn't, and why the difference matters for everyone. "I felt trapped in my own life."  It's a phrase I hear again and again from clients, it's how I felt all those years ago,  and it captures something the techn...

The decisions you make in the early stages of separation can shape your family for years to come. And yet, most parents make critical mistakes during this most vulnerable time - often because they're following well-meaning but misguided advice from friends, family, or even professionals who don't understand child development or the realities of post-separation parenting. In this episode,...

There is a phrase I have heard, in various forms, from many of my clients over the years: "If her name was Brian instead of Barb, the recognition and response would have been completely different." That phrase is the whole problem, distilled into one sentence. This solo episode is for two audiences at once. The first is every woman who has experienced family violence or post-separation a...

This Mother's Day episode is for every mother who knows the day might be complicated. For the mothers without orders, whose former partners simply deny contact on Mother's Day. For the mothers who get a few hours - children dropped in the morning, collected later that same day, no unhurried time for the burnt toast or the homemade card.  For the mothers whose former partners will withhol...

In this episode, Danielle unpacks something that comes up constantly in her work with clients: the tendency to invalidate our own pain by comparing it to someone else's. To stay in situations that are harmful - not because we can't leave, but because leaving feels harder than staying. To choose the familiar difficulty, the 'comfortable discomfort', over the unfamiliar one, with...

What if you had access to a specialist coaching resource trained in coercive control, the Australian family law system, attachment science, and nervous system regulation - any time of day or night, at no additional cost? In this episode, Danielle Black introduces AI Danielle - the digital coaching resource built for the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ - and does something she's never don...

One hundred episodes. In this milestone episode, Danielle Black does something she has never quite done before - she tells the full truth about where this work came from, what it has cost, and why she hasn't walked away. More than seventeen years ago, Danielle was a young mother with a 12-month-old son. She was told by a family lawyer to agree to the 50/50 care arrangements that her abusive e...

Your lawyer is not trying to find the truth. And once you understand why - once you really understand how the adversarial legal system is designed and what it is and isn't built to deliver - everything changes. In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black explores one of the most misunderstood dynamics in family law: the gap between what parents expect from their legal team and what lawyer...

Dating after domestic violence, coercive control, or post-separation abuse is one of the most under-discussed topics in the survivor space. Most people are somewhere between terrified and convinced it's simply not possible for them. In this honest, personal episode, Danielle Black shares what dating after abuse actually looked like from the inside - not a glossy highlight reel, but the real e...

Healthy relationships after family violence, and in the midst of post-separation abuse, are possible - but they are rarely talked about honestly in survivor spaces. In this special anniversary episode, Danielle Black is joined by her husband Drew for a candid conversation about what it actually looks like to build a safe, equal partnership after coercive control, trauma, and years of family court...

Family Reports can be influential pieces of evidence in Australian family court proceedings - but they are widely misunderstood. In this episode, Danielle Black explains what Family Report Writers are actually assessing, why protective parents can be misread and mischaracterised, and how nervous system responses to trauma can impact presentation in interviews. Drawing on lived experience and years...

Collaboration is often presented as the gold standard after separation. Parents are encouraged to communicate openly, compromise, and "work together". In the right circumstances, a collaborative approach can indeed produce faster, less adversarial, and more sustainable outcomes. But what happens when the conditions for genuine collaboration don’t exist? In this episode of The Post-Separa...

I nternational Women’s Day bonus episode In this special episode, Danielle Black explores something rarely named in conversations about parenting after separation: the invisible architecture of childhood. The planning. The anticipating. The emotional holding. The daily mental load of raising children that rarely appears in legal documents, mediation rooms, or parenting orders. Across decades of re...

What does a divorce coach actually do - and how do you know if the support you’re choosing after separation is right for your situation? In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast , principal coach Danielle Black unpacks the rapidly growing world of divorce coaching, high-conflict separation support, and post-separation parenting guidance. As more professionals begin using the label “coa...

Intrusive thoughts. Rumination. The relentless "what if" loops that keep you awake at night. If you’re a protective parent navigating separation, family court, or post-separation abuse, you are not broken - your brain is responding to chronic stress and uncertainty. But how do you know when intrusive thoughts are a normal stress response… and when they require professional mental health...

In this episode, Principal Coach Danielle Black is joined by Senior Coaches Brigid Morgan and Trudie Hargrave to explore what meaningful, professionally held group support actually looks like in post-separation parenting work. Many parents navigating separation want connection - but feel cautious about online forums, unmoderated social media groups, or advice shared without professional understand...

If you’ve experienced high-conflict separation, coercive control, other forms of family violence or post-separation abuse, your brain has adapted to help you survive. But survival wiring can make advocacy, decision-making, and communication inside legal and family systems feel overwhelming. In this episode, Danielle Black explains the science of neuroplasticity and how protective parents can inten...

In this episode, Danielle is joined by Senior Coach Brigid Morgan for a warm, honest conversation about post-separation recovery, protective parenting, and why evidence-based, child-focused support matters. We start with a light-hearted chat (morning person or night owl? coffee or tea? beach or mountains?) before moving into deeper conversation about Brigid’s personal post-separation journey, what...

Considering Separation in 2026? Let’s Talk About the Decision You’re Already Making If you’re listening to this episode, chances are the question isn’t “Should I leave?” It’s “Why am I still here - and what is this costing me and my children?” In this episode, I speak directly to parents who are contemplating separation in 2026 - especially those who have been living in chronic high-conflict, coer...