The Porn Addict's Wife

Alright, we've all experienced this: we "know" in our minds one thing but we don't "feel" that way. Am I right? Perhaps we "know" that our husband's pornography addiction doesn't have anything to do with us but it doesn't "feel" that way. Sound familiar? Today I'm going to dive into why this happens AND how to change it!  Coaching SALE! Because I love shopping and sales and Christmas, I'm giving a...

Let's talk about anxiety-we all feel it. But sometimes, we get a little too accustomed to it and we start to identify ourselves by what we are feeling. I know, it sounds crazy. But join me today and I'll explain it all. Plus, I'll give you the 4 easy steps to help you manage the anxiety you feel on a day to day basis. Trust me, you can do it.  Don't forget to join my FB group by clicking here! Thi...

Communicating with your spouse about his addiction isn't easy. It is natural for us to want to lean forward, to share, to explain, to fix and to try to help. But, most of the time, all that does is create a pressure that doesn't resolve the situation and makes things tense and uneasy. What we need to do is learn how to lean back, to open the space between us and our spouse and to allow an opportun...

When we face resistance or difficulties in our lives, we have two options: 1: surrender or 2: use that resistance to get stronger. Just like building muscle, building our emotional and mental strength requires resistance. We cannot get stronger if we do not USE the resistance we face to do so. Join me today as I dive into this so that you can start using the challenges you face to create the life...

The default setting of our brain is what shapes how we see our world. Today I'm going to go into what our default settings are, why they are that way, how to change them, and why it is so important that we do so. I will be discussing my own personal examples of how I did this as a frustrated mother as well as how this helped in the intimate relationship I have with my husband. This is one you do N...

Our brains like to think of the world as black and white. Our brains like it when everything is placed in a "right" box or a "wrong" box. But that's just because our brains are lazy. If we open up the space to allow things to be neutral, then we can choose our reactions to them on purpose rather than being on autopilot. Join me today as I talk more about it! If your husband is struggling with porn...

Forgiveness is a process. A journey. And learning to forgive my husband for his pornography addiction was not something that happened overnight. But I did have one powerful experience one weekend that shifted me forever. It was a profoundly spiritual experience that I am grateful to share with you in hopes that it will help you navigate your own journey of forgiveness as well.  As always, if you a...

Do you feel like you are struggling to find purpose in the roles you find yourself in? Maybe you feel like you are "just a mom" and don't know how to feel more fulfilled? This episode is for you. Join me today and I will give you a new way to approach this in your life and be sure to do the exercise at the end!  *Now until October 12, anyone who joins my coaching program will be getting a FREE tic...

Do you feel stuck? Like your life is on a loop and the same thoughts and feelings keep coming up? Do you feel like you are going nowhere and have no control or direction over your life? This episode is for you. Join me today as I go over the 4 most common reasons why you are feeling stuck in your own life. Don't stay stuck. Let's get you moving.  Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you nev...

It is one thing for emotions to be part of the reason we do something and another for us to use them as the EXCUSE for what we do. It is important to learn to tell the difference because when we blame our actions on the emotions we are feeling, it leaves us powerless and stuck, unable to change what is happening in our life because it feels beyond our control. And that is simply not true. Join me...

Fear feels really important. Like we should listen to it and stop doing whatever it is we are afraid of. But the truth is, fear is just an emotion. And our primitive brain likes to convince us that what we are afraid of will kill us. But it won't. Not usually. And yet, we miss out on SO much of our own life because we stop ourselves when we feel fear. Join me today as I talk about the 3 biggest li...

I know. That sounds crazy. Why would we want to stay hurt? Hear me out: Our brains like to stay hurt because being hurt means that we were wronged by the other person. Basically, it means that we are right and the other person is wrong. And being right feels really good. So our brain wants to stay there. But in order to stay feeling "right", we also have to keep that hurt. And trust me ladies, it'...

Is pornography use an addiction or a compulsive behavior? Does it matter? What's the difference? Join me today as I talk about the difference between the two and share some statistics that will shed some light on pornography use. The takeaway today is this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Come here me speak live at the All In Women's Faith Conference! www.allinwithgod.com   Schedule a free call today and let'...

Sometimes we make our lives more emotional than they need to be by adding layers of emotions unintentionally. Today I am going show you how we do this, why we do this, and how to stop doing it so that you can drop all the drama and overwhelm in your life and just feel emotions as they come up. I promise this is exactly what you need to learn!  If you're having trouble with all the emotional turmoi...

Boundaries are one of the most common concerns for my clients and for the wives of porn addicts. It's also one of the most misunderstood. Join me today as I discuss the difference between boundaries and consequences, why one of them works and one doesn't, and clarify why setting consequences for your husband's behavior will never make him change.  p.s. if you want to leave me a birthday gift, plea...

Just like physical pain tolerance, we have emotional pain tolerance. And the things that we experience in our life usually result in us having a high tolerance for emotional pain. Listen in today as I talk about what that looks like, why it happens, and why it is completely unnecessary.  Find out information about the All In Women's Faith Conference at www.allinwithgod.com   Find out how to coach...

Do you worry about the future? Do you worry that your husband will relapse or have an affair or that you are being deceived? When we have anxiety about the future we think it will make us more prepared for our "what ifs". But it doesn't. Join me today on the podcast as I talk about why you should let go of your future anxiety right now.  Sign up for a free mini coaching session today on my website...

That's the question, right? Do I trust my husband? Do I NOT trust my husband? Does it make me a bad wife if I don't? Does it make me a doormat if I do? I want to take a deep look at what trusting can look like if you see it as a choice.  Follow me on IG @jolenewinncoaching All my coaching program details can be found on my website at www.jolenewinn.com  

There are so many decisions we have to make that are difficult. But when we think about each one of them as if there is a "right" or "wrong" answer, that doesn't always serve us and, more often than not, leads us to make no decision at all. Join me today on the podcast as I talk about what this looks like, why this is something we need to become aware of, and how to make choices in a better way mo...

We think that we know why we do things. Our brain offers us answers that seem logical. But those are often just surface level answers that don't show us the true reason underneath. Join me  on the podcast today to learn how I learned to ask myself why and the reason this is so important to learn how to do! I share real examples of how I've applied this in my own life and outline how you can start...

My husband Rob joined me on this episode today so that he and I could share our story with y'all. We talk about what our marriage used to look like, what his addiction looked like in our marriage, what was the core of his addiction, how we both overcame his addiction and where we are now. We share this with the hope that it inspires you to know that wherever you are on your journey, wherever your...

We spend so much of our life thinking that what happens around us, or outside of us, is what causes us to feel a certain way. This is never the case. Your husband's addiction is not causing the feelings inside of you. Your weight, your mother in law, the things someone said on FB-none of those are causing your feelings. Your feelings are caused by your thoughts. Always. Join me today as I go throu...

We aren't taught how to feel our emotions. We are taught how to resist them, react to them, or avoid them. But none of that is going to allow you to process anything in a healthy way or improve the way your life is going. Today I will introduce you to how you can process emotions in a healthy way and why it is so important to do so.    Find all my coaching info at jolenewinn.com!

Confession: I've gotten so wrapped up in the "how" of starting a life coaching business that I forgot about the "why". I became a life coach because the tools I learned along the way have transformed my life and I am now a completely different person. And I feel a responsibility and a privilege to share that knowledge with as many women as I possibly can. Today I'm going to give you a taste of wha...

There are 4 main stages of progression that women tend to go through as the wife of the porn addict. In this episode I lay out what those are, what the difference is between all of them, and the last stage that you may not even know about yet. Join me today to hear more about it! Don't forget to sign up for my class: How To Set Boundaries! Register here! In case you missed it, I wrote an article i...