The Podcast With No Name KE

What is one lesson you've learned this year that has impacted you? What is one thing you are thankful for, despite everything that has happened? And finally, what is the funniest thing that has happened to you this year? Those were the questions we went through in this super hilarious, ultimately insightful discussion. We want to extend our gratitude for you being here and listening to most, if no...

If it is Friday, like the one this episode was recorded, Brian will be the first one to get to the studio. First and last Fridays are his best. Any Friday after these two, he is broke and he is unwilling to work, or participate in any nation building activities. Eddy will walk in late, by a whole two hours and offer us Afya Mango Juice and Tropical Heat groundnuts or bottle of Krest Soda. He doesn...

Someone's daughter told me, "I am not even sure men like women," while we were having a discussion about gender wars and I had to get defensive, saying, surely, of course we like women. "It doesn't show." So I brought this issue up at the Podcast recording and because Eddy was stuck somewhere being asked,"Who is your mommy!" it was the right time to have a sensible discussion, just Ndugu and I, an...

Sex, drugs and alcohol isn’t the answer. Unless you are asking what I did over the weekend. Which is funny, because Sauti Sol were performing this weekend. I don’t have the sauti, but I have one mic and trust me, it will touch your soul. I have never understood the concept of relationships, friendships or may ships for that matter. My ancestors were thrown in the ocean, so you can understand why....

Brian texts 37 minutes to show time to let us know he won’t make it to the studio. It is the audacity for us. It was not out of an emergency. It wasn’t an accident, far from it. The guy knew he wasn’t coming to the studio three weeks ago. He and the people he was with that day. But because the show must go on, we called in the ladies’ favorite Bennito. His real name is Benjamin but the ladies love...

Without intending to, we turned this week's podcast into a therapy session for Eddy who, two years ago, was contemplating jumping from KICC because he had been told, "It's not me, it's you." And if you had met him two years ago you would have agreed it was surely him. Kwanza he weighed about 46kgs. Or 49 ikienda sana. He wore don't touch pants that had seen better days and his dreadlocks were in a...

Poor people and gay people have a lot in common. We were both born that way, women just want to be our friends and when you finally tell your parents they are like yeah we knew. That's not what we talked about with Silas Nyanchwani, but it came up. But now that we are here, if lesbians like women, and I like women, and I am a man, can I identify as a lesbian?

You sit next to Sarah Haluwa and she starts talking about size. If you are an insecure man, and most men are you will start defending yourself. Understandably, every man thinks of himself big and when that idea is challenged, the natural reaction is to defend oneself as was the case in this episode. Sarah pushes you to the wall. She pushes your ideas to the wall with her ideas and still finds time...

With a South Sudanese in studio, we had to ask him the two most important questions: Why did they steal our flag and what does he think of our Kenyan women? Not to spoil things but he did have some good answers, which you will find out from today's episode. But he also told us something interesting. That when war broke out in their country, each family was required to surrender the strongest child...

Eddy confessed he would love to be a pornstar. To be that Pizza delivery guy who delivers pizza to a girl with tirries the size of two big melons and who will have no cash. Obviously, he feels he is wasting his talents making ladies cum without proper compensation. Miyamoto Muswahili, on the other hand, wanted to be a pastor. A priest. But we all know he would have been that pastor that seeks to f...

We finally understand why Mbanacho lives a twisted life. He was obviously messed up as a kid when no one celebrated his birthday or even remembered he was born. So much so that he himself forgot about the day he was born and even guessed his Birthday date when it was time to apply for ID. Now his ID reads he was born on 8th of January when in real sense he was born on December 10th. This boy has s...

When Kinoti came to the studio, what stood out most was how young he was. We had to get him to give us his ID because at 23, I was still chasing girls with foreheads the size of Thika Superhighway and calling my mom to ask kama wanapika chapo Sunday. 😭. But this guy is deep. His songs are deep. His words are deep. I mean the only thing deeper than the message in his songs is girls with foreheads...

There are two official ways of recognizing red flags in Nairobi. 1. If it walks, talks breathes, snores,u and cheats like a man. 2. Refer to 3 below. 3. We said 2. But this write-up was done by a man, err a red flag. Men lie. The challenge of being in Nairobi and being a man at the same time is that you are a red flag more than you are a man. Even if you are you try door to door evangelism, they w...

On Friday we had a premium version of Ndugu in studio. Instead of a smooth baby face, he had a beard you can hide so many things in, including your girlfriends and their secrets. Unlike Ndugu who only swears is a good cook but no one has ever seen him cook or taste his food, this one is actually on TikTok cooking what we can all see is something delicious. The only thing is they are both okuyus, b...

Have you ever been arrested?

When a relationship ends, you either become an ex or an expat. You are either completely forgotten or completely unforgettable. You are either talked about as, “we are still friends,” or, “hiyo mbwa hata afadhali igongwe na train ya cargo, yenye imebeba mbolea ya kupanda miwa Mumias. Alafu ndovu nono imekanyage.” When that is said about you, you are an ex. An expat is a person that can shake a for...

Legit reasons to break up with someone 1. They snore like tractors If you don’t beat them to it and be the first one to fall asleep, you might as well not bother going to bed. Worse if they start talking in their sleep, calling Nelson’s name, when just the other day she told you not to worry about Nelson, because he is just a friend. 2. They have a ‘just a friend.’ Yes. You know every girl has a m...

How to buy condoms discreetly in 3 easy steps: 1. Wear dark clothes (juu itakuwa ni mazishi!) and locate the furthest possible distance you can go on a minimalist budget. In this case I chose Rongai. I live in Mlolongo. 2. Buy a few other items first. Lollipops. Sukuma. Hammers. Microwave oven. A car. Then slide in the condoms while avoiding eye contact with the cashier. 3. Always pay in cash. No...

Ukipewa perform! Not our words those are the words of a wizened philosopher. And like with many philosophies, the reader gets to decide what to make of the philosopher's words. Miyamoto Muswahili may or may not have curated those words. The number of times he said it would take a lot to not believe he is the wizened man behind them. On this episode writer and social commentator Eric Rugara shares...

If we could cry, we would. You made Saturday 1 July the best yet. This is a small thank you note to everyone who showed up. We love you!

To understand why your partner also has a partner you must look at Nairobi relationships as an ecosystem with consumers, producers and those that don't fit in either of the two—you. Nairobi relationships can be classified into three major classes. Producers. I don't need to explain this especially after that debauchery filled weekend in Naivasha. These are the people that fund(read enable smooth r...

By the time I got to form four I was so tired with life I wanted to die. Nothing made sense anymore and because nothing made sense, nothing scared me anymore. So one day this madam comes to class and asks everyone to go to the field. "We are having an internal running competition so we can select the best runners to represent our school in our upcoming competition." She then looked my way and saw...

How do you know you are a Mubaba? If you have to ask, then you are one.

Do they stop loving you when they sleep with someone else? Do they even love you when they sleep with you friend? Before we found Jesus, some of us found a bestie bestie. That is not the story. But that is also the story. For you to understand where we are coming from, you must first understand what we have given up. For a good cause, of course. You must also understand that at times—many times— l...

The good thing about growing up is that you learn to have shame. The worst thing about growing up is that you learn to have shame. Shame is good, but not when you still want to try out kinky stuff like being tickled in the ass with a duck's feather. To try this, you need the level of shamelessness that only comes with youth. Thanks to lack of shame, Mbanacho, in his youth, almost had a threesome,...