The Perfect Crime

This week, Paul and Mike enter each other's mind palace to finally construct the perfect crime. Will they succeed? No. Buy your New Year's Eve sign today! Go to www.theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

Rogue paleontologists Meso Zoic and Dr. Rex Carver pull a grift to make some money off buffalo bones. Plus we scam a Scrooge! Please don't email us at theperfectcrimepodcast@gmail.com or never tweet us @Perfectcrimepod.

This week Paul and Mike talk about candy. That's it, that's the whole show. Happy fuckin' new year. If you want to bitch about it, do it on our Twitter @PerfectCrimePod or send us a GD email to theperfectcrimepodcast@gmail.com.

How much is an aged child actor worth these days? Paul and Mike are eager to find out! They also discuss selling crystals and DIY instruments.

This week Paul and Mike discuss national candy day, becoming reality TV stars, as well as selling vacuums door to door. Plus more emails! Submit your own to theperfectcrimepodcast@gmail.com.

This week, Paul and Mike are discussing comic con and soup, and they may be in cahoots with a famous actor! Also we read some fan emails. Submit your own on theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

This week, Paul and Mike are discussing the latest gossip in the goose community, fine wine and mediocre soap, as well as exploring what's up with Paul's meat. Contact us @PerfectCrimePod on the Tweeters or at www.theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

Paul and Mike need cash fast! This weeks get rich quick scheme including faking a Mars landing and hosting barn weddings. Contact us at theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

Paul and Mike are home safe and sound but are no longer on speaking terms. Paul hatches a plan to get Mike back into podcasting. Tell Mike he should leave now on theperfectcrimepodcast.com or bother him on the Twiddliewinks @PerfectCrimePod.

Paul and Mike are hitchhiking their way back to Minneapolis, kind of. This week we talk about missing cords and building decks. Help Mike figure out what smoked paprika is all about @PerfectCrimePod on the Tweetereenios, or on theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

The boys are headed home! Currently stowing away on a cargo ship on one of the great lakes, Paul and Mike pass the time discussing art and opening a bar. Talk to Mike about becoming a wolf on Twitter @PerfectCrimePod, or have high-falutin' conversations about art on theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

Paul gives Mike a masterclass on baking. Topics include how maps are made, the color of kitchen tiles, and why being a wolf hurts. Tell Mike about your best vegan recipes @PerfectCrimePod on Twitter or at theperfectcrimepodcast.com

This week, Mike, Vince, Moon Shadow, and Craig are talking all about truth, justice, and how to be sensitive to the cultures and traditions of our fellow animal brothers and sisters of the forest. Paul is around here somewhere too. Ask the Wolfpack to solve your forest problems on Twitter @PerfectCrimePod, or hit up theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

Paul and Mike are still laying low... under some boats. By a lake. In northern Ontario. They're talking about knick knacks, and batteries. Please let Mike know how to get the pickles at the far side of the lake. Twiddle on @PerfectCrimePod or reach out on our website, theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

Paul & Mike are still on the run, hiding in their good buddy Dave's cabin in Southeast Manitoba, where they're talking high fashion, youth athletics, and drive thrus. If you have an available bedroom for Paul and Mike, please please please help us at theperfectcrimepodcast.com. No cops, please.

The boys are back! After a daring escape from the police and a heroic rescue of their recording equipment, Paul and Mike are hiding out in the woods discussing all kinds of nature crimes. Tweet Mike your naughtiest syrup-y story @PerfectCrimePod or tell us why we "stick" with you on theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

This week Paul and Mike discuss an explosive way to get free concrete, putting their stamp on the stamp business, and the ups and downs of real estate. Give Mike some medical advice at www.theperfectcrimepodcast.com or on Twittie @PerfectCrimePod.

It's someone's special day! Paul and Mike celebrate their dear friend Vinny on his birthday by coming up with some great birthday crimes! Wish Vinny a happy birthday on theperfectcrimepodcast.com or send him a birthday twat @PerfectCrimePod.

Happy birthday, baby! This episode, Mike & Paul take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about some of the schemes they've cooked up in the last year. Get a little Twittle with Mike @PerfectCrimePod, or send a snarky message at theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

This week we celebrate the Olympics! To show our Olympic pride, we discuss stealing gold medals, a return to Restultants, and the Legend of Old Miser Wrinkle. Tell Mike about his silliness on Twitter @PerfectCrimePod, or send an angry email to us at theperfectcrimepodcast.com.

This week we celebrate 50 episodes! This week we're traveling the world. We're talking luggage theft, scamming a traveling circus, and getting revenge on undeserving coworkers who get to go on the Japan business trip even though I'm way more qualified and mention all the time that Japan is my number one vacation destination but I make one tiny mistake where I thought the boss's wife was his mom an...

This week, Mike shows off how much he knows about QR codes, Paul goes organic, as well as pitching the most expensive game show ever! Rest in Power mid-sized Jerome. Talk to Mike on Twitter @PerfectCrimePod!

This week, Paul and Mike discuss stealing threads, the best way to cross state lines, and scamming hotels. Get Mike to shut up by going to theperfectcrimepodcast.com and sending him some sappy stuff.

After last weeks debacle, Mike had a nice long lie down... in a hospital... in a coma. Paul explains how he saved Mike's life. After, we discuss used books and scamming restaurants. Talk to Mike on Scwhitter @PerfectCrimePod.

Mike's had a crazy week! After he left Vegas, the Ribisi crime family put out a hit on Mike and now he's in a real John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum situation/scenario! Luckily with the help of a few friends, Mike was able to survive the week and make it to the podcast on time. Also Paul has chicken crimes. - Vince Vaughn