The PDA Parenting Podcast

 Grief isn't only about death.  Sometimes it's saying goodbye to a season of parenting. Sometimes it's watching your child grow up. Sometimes it's the end of a coaching group, a move, a beloved pet, or simply the realization that life is changing.  In this deeply personal episode, Amy shares a week filled with endings - including the unexpected loss of her family's beloved...

 What if PDA isn't a behavior problem at all? In this episode, Amy explores a powerful shift in perspective that can change how parents understand PDA. Instead of viewing avoidance, refusal, aggression, or meltdowns as the problem, what if these behaviors are actually signals from a nervous system working hard to stay safe? Drawing on the work of Robyn Gobbel, Mona Delahooke, Bruce Perry, and...

Many parents of PDA, autistic, and other neurodivergent children find themselves exhausted, overwhelmed, and constantly worried about their child's future. But what if fear has quietly convinced you that you're responsible for things no parent can actually control? In this episode, I explore the difference between helping and carrying, why uncertainty is so difficult for our brains, and...

After a break for health and recovery, Amy returns with a powerful conversation on boundaries, unpredictability, and nervous system regulation. If you’ve ever felt like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster - hopeful one moment and overwhelmed the next - this episode will help you understand why unpredictability feels so destabilizing and how to stay steady through it. Amy explores the connection b...

If you’re parenting a PDA child or teen and food feels scary right now, this episode is for you. Many PDA kids experience food preoccupation, binge-like eating, weight changes, or rigid food preferences - often as a response to stress, loss of autonomy, or nervous system overload. In this episode, we explore food and eating through a nervous-system-informed, non-diet-culture lens , so you can resp...

Traditional parenting programs often don’t work for PDA families - not because parents aren’t trying hard enough, but because the structure itself creates pressure. In this episode, I share why I stopped offering a weekly parenting class and what flexible, PDA-informed support can look like instead. What if the problem isn’t you - or your child - but the structure of the support you’ve been offere...

What happens when learning shuts down - at school, at home, everywhere? In Part One of this two-part conversation, I’m joined by educator and consultant Danielle Rodda to talk about why learning becomes unsafe for so many PDA and neurodivergent kids. In this episode, we explore: Why compliance-based education doesn’t work for PDA nervous systems How school trauma and chronic pressure shut learning...

The holidays hit PDA parents harder - and it’s not your fault. In this episode, we break down why judgment, comparison, overwhelm, and the “good mom” myth intensify this time of year - and what’s really happening inside your nervous system and your child’s. You’ll learn:  • why your child’s overwhelm triggers your own  • how identity friction fuels shame  • why holiday environments activate threat...

In this episode, Amy explores why some kids - especially adopted, autistic, or PDA-identifying kids - avoid talking about their story, whether it’s adoption, trauma, or a new diagnosis. Using personal experiences from raising her two daughters, she explains how these conversations activate the nervous system and why avoidance is often about safety , not refusal. You’ll learn how to share your chil...

In this episode, Amy speaks directly to the part of every parent that whispers, “You’ve got to fix this.” Drawing from her own journey - from years of researching and even attending graduate school to understand her child’s behavior - she shares what she’s learned about the nervous system, safety, and why trying to “fix” our children keeps both parent and child stuck in a cycle of stress. Listener...

In this heartfelt episode, Amy opens up about a recent family crisis that brought her to her knees - and the quiet resilience that helped her rise again. Through personal reflection, she explores the science of co-regulation, the role of community in healing, and what clinical psychologist Dr. Matt Zakreski calls “psychological capital” - hope as something we can actively build through small acts...

 Why is hygiene such a struggle for PDA autistic kids?  And why does pushing only make it harder? In this episode of the PDA Parenting Podcast , Amy explores the real reasons behind resistance to toothbrushing, showering, and other daily self-care routines. You’ll learn how nervous system responses, sensory sensitivities, and demand avoidance all play a role, and why it’s never about laziness or w...

Parenting a PDA teen means our role is always evolving - and nowhere is that more clear than during big life transitions like starting college, a first job, or moving away from home. In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast , Amy Kotha shares how scaffolding, cues of safety, and collaborative strategies can help PDA teens and young adults navigate overwhelming changes without collapsing under...

In this powerful episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast , host Amy Kotha is joined by Diane Gould, LCSW - a veteran therapist, late-diagnosed autistic woman, and Director of PDA North America. Diane shares her personal journey to discovering her neurodivergence and how it informs her professional mission to amplify PDA awareness and advocacy across the continent. Together, Amy and Diane dive into wh...

What is it really like to grow up with a sibling who has PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) autism? In this powerful episode, I sit down with my daughter Devika -an autistic, ADHD teen herself - to talk about her personal experience as the sister of a PDA child. Devi shares openly about the emotional ups and downs, how family dynamics were affected, and what helped her feel seen in a home where o...

How does growing up with a PDA sibling shape a child’s identity, needs, and voice? In this episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast , Amy Kotha explores the often overlooked experience of siblings in families raising a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA autism). Drawing from her own family’s story and her experience as a parent coach, Amy shares: How PDA shapes family dynamics and sibling r...

In Part 2 of our introduction to Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), host Amy Kotha explores the social characteristics that make this autism profile so complex - especially masking, fluctuating social skills, and the surprising ways demand avoidance shows up in relationships. Amy shares personal stories and expert insights to help parents recognize common PDA traits like masking at school, socia...

In this reflective solo episode, Amy Kotha shares a deeply personal story about parenting her PDA daughter through a major life transition - and how her daughter’s struggles unexpectedly derailed her own plans. Amy explores what happens when parenting a child with PDA autism pulls us off our own path and into their emotional storms. From delayed podcast launches to insights about co-regulation, en...

In this episode, Amy Kotha explores the powerful theme of feeling trapped - a core experience for many PDA autistic kids and a familiar reality for their parents, too. She breaks down what “trapped” looks like at different ages and shares five ways to help everyone in the family feel more free. For PDAers, trapped doesn’t just mean physically stuck - it’s about a lack of autonomy, emotional overwh...

In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Amy is joined by her daughter Maya - who shares her lived experience as a PDA autistic teen. Together, they explore the PDA experience of feeling trapped: at school, in the medical system, and inside her own mind. From second-grade meltdowns to high school shutdowns to hospital sensory overwhelm, Maya speaks candidly about what “feeling trapped” really...

In this inaugural episode of The PDA Parenting Podcast , host Amy Kotha - parent coach and mom to a teen with PDA autism - introduces the concept of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Learn about the key characteristics of PDA, its impact on children's behavior, and why understanding this profile is crucial for effective parenting. Amy shares her personal journey navigating the complexities...