The Parenting Presence

This episode is for those who find themselves in an inner space of awkward loss and silence, for those who feel grief and overwhelm from the events of the world. Here we reflect on the Middle East crisis, by stepping outside the politics and into the quiet solitude of a grieving heart.   What do you do, when you don't want to talk, yet want to be heard? What do you do, when you don't know what to...

Imagine if we needed to know everything about our lungs in order to take a breath. It would be impossible to live. And yet, something similar is happening with emotions. We no longer trust our basic intuitions about what we feel, because of so much noise in the mainstream narrative about the purpose of emotions and what to do about them. But how complicated are our emotions, really? Today let's ch...

Strong relationships depend on respectful interactions. As we discussed in the previous episode, one of the things that will make the transition into the school year more smooth is to maintain a strong relationship with our children.   But you may wonder, what does it look like? Afterall, respectful interactions are not about giving into the child's whishes, nor is it about being permissive. In th...

The transition from summer vacation to the school year is typically centered around preparing children for the changes ahead. However, an often overlooked aspect is the well-being of parents during this shift. In this episode, we explore five unconventional pieces of advice that focus on parents' needs and well-being to ensure a successful school year.   Mentioned in this episode: "Don't Blame The...

Our children rely on us for everything. Meeting our children's needs is our responsibility. This seems like an accurate statement. But upon close inspection, it is only partially correct. Let's see why…   The younger children are, the more they rely on us. The older they are, however, the less they should need from us.  That is the nature of growing up.   The developmental purpose of childhood is...

For way too long we were told that the reason why we have negative emotions is because our brain is at fault. In other words, we were told that there are "errors" in our thinking and that the brain sends us false signals and creates problems when there are none.    And so when we believe this to be true, we try to talk ourselves out of what we are feeling and do a lot of work to change our thought...

  Let's talk about encouragement... When we know that children can do better, it is hard not to want to encourage them to do better. Right? We want them to do well. In fact, we want them to do their best. But will they?   It all depends on how we approach these situations. The ones when we see a difference between where our child is currently at and where they can be... How do we encourage them in...

If you only had time to read ONE book on emotional regulation, which one would I recommend? Until recently I would think long and hard about this question, because there wasn't a book that checked all the boxes for me. Something was always missing. I finally found the missing piece and I have a book recommendation to make.   "Don't Blame The Brain"  is the book you don't want to miss! In this book...

What do boundaries have to do with emotional regulation? In this episode we are exploring the connection between the Sense of Self and the child's sense of psychological Boundaries and what they have to do with the child's emotional regulation.    We explore why there can be no mental health without a Sense of Self. And the child's ability to form a strong Sense of Self depends on Boundaries.   It...

Facing personal losses and overcoming life storms is challenging as it is. But how do we do that in the context of the world at large that seems to be going through crisis after crisis, without an end in sight?    Every loss and every challenge we face splits the path we're on into two.    One takes you towards disorientation and disintegration, which ultimately leads to more chaos.  The other — t...

Assertiveness is that special quality we want our children to have. But what is it? And how do we get it? What can we do to make sure our children become more assertive?   Feeling lost? You are not the only one. I used to have trouble with it, until something became clear:   The trouble with assertiveness is not that it is complicated, but that it has vague definitions.     For example "healthy co...

2023 is here and so are some exciting news that I really want to share with you. Here is what is coming this year:   - making commitments to ourselves based on what truly serves us - my book on emotions, their purpose, and how to truly benefit from them. See details at www.dontblamethebrain.com   - as we continue talking about children, we will also focus more on the adult (you and me) in that dyn...

Have you been wondering why your child is not sharing as many things as they used to? Do they give you one-word responses or would rather talk about things with their friends? Do they seem less interested in discussing different things with you? And does all of that make it seem as though they are hiding something from you or have secrets?  Let's talk about it!  First of all, this is important to...

Let's be honest for a second. Is gratitude working for you? No, I am not asking whether you are trying to make it work , but whether you truly feel the way you want to feel when you engage in a gratitude practice. If yes, fantastic (read on, as it may be helpful to know why it's working so well) and if not, great too, because we will sort this out.   Gratitude is a helpful practice for all parents...

Today we are talking about the third and final skill of the Future, which is Resourcefulness. It is one of three core skills our children will need in order to face whatever future may have in store for them.   No matter what their life may look like, no matter what they choose to do, they will face challenges and will have to solve problems. That is why they will need to be resourceful in order t...

Today we are talking about the second skill of the Future, which is Resilience. It is one of three core skills our children will need in order to face whatever future may have in store for them.   No matter what their life may look like, no matter what they choose to do, they will need the skill of Resilience in order to manage it successfully.   And yes, Resilience is a skill we can build.   Whet...

In this episode we are talking about self-regulation as one of the core skills our children will need for the future. No matter what the future brings, no matter what they choose to do with their lives, they will need self-regulation.    Regardless of what life throws their way, they will manage just fine, if they have the skill of self-regulation.    Think about it… What can you really do, if you...

It is no longer a secret. Digital devices are designed to be addictive . That should be an automatic red flag when it comes to anything our children handle and interact with. Not only does this mean that it is important we monitor their use, but that we also must think about alternatives.    But how can you offer a good alternative when gadgets are all your child seems to want?    It's time to get...

It's been too long of a pause between episodes! An unintended one at that. It's time I said hello. In this episode I check in with you and give you a quick update on where things are.      Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach With questions and comments, please reach out on Instagram  @theparentingpresence . Additional info is available at  theparentingpresence.com     Want to explore a...

The one area where parents get tricked the most by clever marketing is gadgets and devices... Why? Because one of the clever (even though unethical) ways, in which smart devices are promoted, is through twisting of the language. When gadgets and devices are being sold to us, words that we are likely to find appealing are used to make us think that we are buying something "smart" and "engaging" and...

Here is what most concerns me lately... I think that we have become too trusting. And because we are overly trusting, we become easily misled.    Discernment is a skill every parent should have.   You owe it to yourself and your children. Discernment is a mix of common sense with a healthy dose of skepticism. And let me tell you, there is a lot to be skeptical about. Especially when it comes to wh...

Your self-esteem impacts your confidence, how you show up in the world, and the way you see yourself. Your own self-esteem also impacts your parenting presence. What does that mean?    The way you show up in the world also impacts how you show up in the world of your child.    And the way you see yourself also impacts the way you see yourself as a parent. And since children observe us all the time...

What do future-ready children look like? And if the future is so unpredictable, how can we prepare our children for it?   Thinking about the "great unknown" can cause a lot of anxiety. But here is the good news: Not only is there a set of skills and abilities that will make a difference down the road no matter what the future looks like, but these are also the things we can do today.   So what are...

It is not easy to parent a child, especially in unpredictable times. Have you tried planning anything in 2020? Has 2021 turned out as you expected? With so many changes in how we live today and not knowing what we need to prepare our children for, it can be anxiety provoking.   One of the ways we deal with that anxiety is by clinging onto what we think we can control -- our children.   We try to d...

Intrinsic motivation is the thing we think will get our kids to do stuff without us nagging at them. We hope that when kids are intrinsically motivated, the need for extrinsic rewards will go away...   Put it simply, all of us wonder where does intrinsic motivation come from and how can our children have some more of it?   If you've ever wondered — how can I make my child be motivated without tric...