The Ontological Experience

Veronica Olalla Love, CEO of the Newfield Network, joins me for a conversation about unnecessary suffering, and why insight alone often does not change the patterns we are trying to shift. We look at ontological coaching as an embodied approach to personal growth, one that treats the mind body emotion connection as part of how learning happens, not as an add on. We talk about way of being and what...

I invited Bob Dunham into this conversation because I wanted a fresh way to approach a familiar leadership breakdown: too many priorities, too much change, and not enough capacity management. I expected to stay with that topic. Bob took us somewhere more foundational. We explore what the ontological experience actually is, and how ontological coaching creates new awareness that expands choice. We...

There will be a moment that changes everything and it probably isn’t going to be loud and dramatic as you expect it to be. Whether it’s a number, a health scan, a pause in the conversation where you realize, “Something’s off and I’ve got to deal with it”, and from that moment forward, things completely shift. That moment came for me after a cardiac CT scan. The score didn’t line up with how I felt...

There are times when we move through life in ways we don’t choose. We apologize for taking up space, step aside when we don’t need to, or stay quiet even when we have something to say. These moments may seem small, but these patterns often start early and reflect what we've absorbed about who should lead, who should yield, and how we’re expected to show up. In this episode, I’m joined by three tho...

There are seasons when the pace of life picks up and it almost feels like we’re being swallowed by our world. You check the boxes, meet the deadlines, keep moving, and yet something still feels unsettled. It’s not always easy to name, but there’s a quiet gap between doing and being.  Often, that “gap” lives in how we relate to what we feel, what we’re emotionally experiencing, and how we’ve been s...

There’s a kind of tension that lives quietly inside many of us, especially those of us who’ve worked hard, achieved goals, and done “the work,” only to find ourselves still feeling off-track. Like we’ve changed everything around us, yet something inside still isn’t aligned. That’s where ontological coaching comes in, a practice that invites us to look beyond doing and into being, helping us see ho...

Growth can look like progress on the outside: new habits, clear goals, a full calendar. But that’s not possible if there’s something’s still out of sync on the inside, which is where we focus in Ontological Coaching.. In this episode, we explore personal development through the lens of ontological coaching, a grounded and holistic approach to learning that starts with who we are before what we do....

Welcome to The Ontological Experience. I’m so glad you’re here. This podcast is a space for deep, meaningful conversations about who we are, how we show up, and what it means to live and lead authentically, from wholeness. If you’ve ever found yourself craving more connection, more emotional awareness, or a different way to relate to your work, your relationships, or yourself, you’re in the right...

Welcome to the very first episode of The Ontological Experience. This new chapter is an invitation into personal growth, authentic presence, and human connection. In this episode, I just wanted to share what this new format is about, why I felt called to start something different, and what led me to bring the word “ontological” front and center after almost three decades of coaching.  I’ll talk ab...

For over a year, I’ve had meaningful conversations here on Wake Up and Pay Attention.  Recently, I’ve been feeling a deeper sense of clarity and purpose calling me forward. This episode marks a transition.  It is the final episode under this name, but it is not the end of our journey. I am evolving the podcast into something even bigger. This next step will let us see and hear each other, and expl...

For the past two months, I’ve been in deep self-reflection, questioning all of my career and personal commitments, and whether I’m truly living in alignment with what matters most. I had to ask myself: Where did my wholeheartedness go? Where am I out of alignment with what I care about most at this stage of my life? In this episode, I open up about what this period of reflection has taught me abou...

As the year comes to a close, I invite you to join me for a heartfelt reflection on a year filled with personal growth, change, and adventure. In this episode, I take you through the final leg of my transformative 33-day road trip. A journey that stretched across breathtaking national parks, reconnected me with my military upbringing and reminded me of the profound beauty of human connection.   I’...

Nature has this incredible way of reflecting back on what we need to see if we’re willing to slow down and listen.   In this episode, I take you with me on a leg of my 33-day journey through the breathtaking landscapes of Sequoia, Kings Canyon, and Yosemite National Parks. But this isn't just a travel story—it's about what these towering trees, sweeping vistas, and quiet moments taught me about pr...

Taking a break from our usual routines can really open our eyes to new ways of seeing and doing things.   In this episode, I dive deep into the lessons I learned from my recent 33-day sabbatical journey, specifically how our understanding of ourselves influences our daily decisions and experiences.   Throughout this road trip, I embraced the role of the observer, making decisions based on my curre...

In this special episode, I sit down with my dear friend and former business partner, Chalmers Brothers, for a candid, unscripted conversation about personal growth, communication skills, and the transformative power of ontological coaching. Chalmers has been a huge influence on my journey, and together, we reflect on how we first met, our early work experiences, and how a life-changing workshop co...

Have you ever stopped to think about the power of your words?    Not just the words you say to others, but the ones you say to yourself?    Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly declaring things about ourselves, and these declarations can have a huge impact on our lives.   In this episode, I dive into the powerful concept of declarations and how they shape our lives in ways we might not e...

Life can feel overwhelming sometimes, but what if finding peace and joy was simpler than we thought? The secret lies in acceptance.   In this episode, I dive into acceptance and how it can transform your daily life. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed or frustrated by things you can't change, this episode is for you.   You’ll learn why acceptance is important and key to finding peace and how accepting...

Have you ever noticed how two people can look at the same thing and see it completely differently, effectively seeing two different worlds?   In this episode, I talk about my recent eye surgery and how it viscerally reminded me of where our power lies to change our perspective on anything or anyone in our life- by changing yourself, in here, and not trying to change reality, what’s out there!..  ...

We all make promises, both big and small, every day.    But have you ever stopped to think about how these promises are shaping your life, stress levels, and relationships?    Understanding and managing these commitments can dramatically change how you navigate both personal and professional spheres.   In this episode, we dive into the crucial skill of managing commitments. Discover how the promis...

Have you ever thought about how taking care of yourself and spending time with others both play huge roles in how happy and fulfilled you feel?   Life's a balancing act, especially when it comes to looking after ourselves and keeping up with our social and professional life.    In this episode, I explore the delicate balance between self-care ("the me") and interactions in both social and professi...

Are you ready to delve into one of life's most crucial relationship building skills —the ability to build, maintain and repair trust?    Whether it’s in personal relationships or professional environments, navigating and understanding trust can drastically enhance our interactions, our well-being, and literally shape the life we’re able to create!   Today, I'm thrilled to share a powerful four-dim...

Are you striving to be a better leader but unsure where to focus your efforts? Most leaders don’t really understand the underlying, fundamental ACTION that constitutes leadership, and so they don’t know where to focus their time and attention!   Leading effectively isn't really about giving orders or setting goals, it's about mastering the art of conversation and building relationships. Great lead...

In a world that demands constant growth and development, learning is not just a luxury, it's a necessity.    But the truth is, most of us have never been taught how to learn effectively. We often find ourselves stuck in frustrating cycles of trial and error, or worse, we give up entirely when faced with the discomfort of the learning process.   In this episode, I introduce a powerful framework for...

Are you feeling bitterness towards others, or feel like there’s nothing you can do to change things?    Do you find yourself constantly blaming others for your circumstances or feeling like there's no hope for a better future?    In today’s episode, I’ll share with you the "four basic moods" that heavily influence our life experiences— Resentment, Resignation, Peace, and Ambition. I'll provide pra...

Have you ever felt like certain conversations in relationships just set you off?  Many of us find ourselves reacting emotionally, often due to our "buttons" being pushed, without fully understanding why. This can lead to cycles of conflict and misunderstanding that erode our relationships. It often feels like our emotions are controlled by the words and actions of others, leaving us feeling powerl...