The Not Tonight Podcast

We wrap up the third season of this podcast with reflections from Rachel and Caitlin, with an emphasis on the immense learnings that have come with creating and sustaining a story-based podcast over the past 15 months. Caitlin and Rachel also share two primary ways to stay involved with the project while the podcast goes on a hiatus: (1) Through the online Patreon community, where there are weekly...

The project’s co-founder Rachel Walker takes her turn to share her tender journey with sexuality, beginning with a childhood shaped by religious values and the extended divorcing of her parents. As Rachel made sense of the world around her, she put labels and judgements on everything - especially sexuality. This led Rachel to years marked by loneliness, unreturned affections, and a period of silen...

Our very own Caitlin Nochajski shares her full story for the first time on our podcast! She takes us back to her beginnings in an authoritative Catholic family and how being surrounded by seedy, unsafe men deeply impacted her future marriage and views of sex. Caitlin describes how even though her now-husband was always safe, stable, and respectful, her early observations about men seeped into thei...

In this engaging episode, we take a delightful journey with the dynamic Meg Rector, a dating and relationship coach for single Christian women in sunny LA.  Meg grew up in a Christian household where discussions about sex were as clinical as a visit to the gynecologist. And once she bought into purity culture hook, line, and sinker, Meg found herself sitting atop a high, white horse waving her v-c...

Fellow podcaster and sex educator Laura Borichevsky boldly shares her journey with us - from limiting religious beginnings to now pursuing a degree in holistic sex education, her path has been a windy one. While her strict upbringing left her with a sense of estrangement from her body, her autonomy, and from open conversations about sex, her transformation began when she decided to take control of...

British-Asian entrepreneur Sumeena Gupta has dedicated her life to supporting women as they access abundance in every aspect of their lives and now, she opens up about her journey of peeling back the layers to discover her truest sexual self. Sumeena shares how her upbringing in a conservative immigrant Indian family where discussions about sex were hush-hush shaped her early perceptions of sexual...

Carlie Palmer-Webb, the hailed “Christian Sex Educator”, gets real with us in this episode about shame, sexual agency, and her own personal journey that led her to the field of sex education. While Carlie grew up with truly stellar parents, she shares that conversations about sex were noticeably absent. She keenly observed her parents' loving relationship but lacked essential guidance on bodie...

We dive deep into attachment, self-worth, and finding balance in this riveting episode with Diana Eskander, renowned love coach from Canada.  Raised in an Egyptian immigrant family, Diana takes us on a journey through her own personal experiences, reflecting on her early perceptions of love and romance. She shares how she overcame struggles with body image and disordered eating, and how these chal...

If there were ever a prize given for the worst sex advice ever received, we’re pretty sure Jess would win the gold medal. Now a champion of her own healing, Occupational Therapist and Vaginismus Coach Jess Seitz spent years in the dark, lonely place of sexual pain. Everywhere she looked for answers or support, Jess only found more and more unhelpful advice - from telling her to drink, to trying to...

Did you know that sharing domestic labor more equally leads to a better sex life? In this episode, we chat with Abby; mother of two and a content creator with a focus on motherhood and equalizing domestic labor.  Abby candidly discusses her journey, from initially accepting imbalanced relational roles to eventually discovering the Fair Play method and redefining how work and family was balanced be...

In this powerful episode, we chat with Meghan Tschanz, a force to be reckoned with—author of "Women Rising”, host of the “Faith and Feminism” podcast and a passionate advocate for dismantling patriarchy within Christianity. Currently residing in Athens, Georgia, Meghan shares her inspiring journey self-discovery, faith, and embracing her sexuality. Meghan's childhood was a tapestry of con...

We usher in the third season of The Not Tonight Podcast with Caitlin and Rachel, as they share a behind-the-scenes peek of what it looks like to co-create this project together behind the scenes, with all its struggles and joys. They also share how hard it can be to do the work in your sex life in certain seasons (looking at you, summertime!) and how they and their partners have grown in maturity....

Caitlin and Rachel wrap up the second season of the podcast by looking back and reflecting on all the learning. They share some favorite moments from episodes throughout the season, as well as their own personal learning along the way. Caitlin also takes time to reflect on what she discovered about her own beliefs about marriage, and why she feels so much more connected to her husband now than she...

Celebrated sex educator Dr. Celeste Holbrook joins us for a special Guest Expert episode to discuss her personal story of sexual struggle which led her to the field of sex education. Celeste grew up in rural, conservative Texas where the messages she received from her religious upbringing led her to establish firm boundaries around sexual behavior. Upon having penetrative sex for the first time on...

Therapist, author, teacher and advocate for healthy humans everywhere Dr. Christy Bauman joins us to share her journey, as well as her experience working with women and couples embodying their own stories. Christy fought tooth and nail for her voice to be heard in a man’s world - she navigated seminary and singleness by shutting down her body’s song and letting her head call the shots. While this...

Caitlin’s longtime bestie Kate, a public health PhD student with a focus on gender norms and gender-based violence, shares how her own story led her into this unique field of study. While her strict Catholic upbringing set the stage, Kate’s religious beliefs about sex were challenged in college, leading her to question societal norms and reevaluate her own perspectives. After a season of intense e...

Imagine getting a phone call from your best friend’s husband, informing you that his wife is having an affair with your husband. It was through the devastating aftermath of this discovery that Heather found her true calling as an affair recovery coach. Listen as Heather describes how she turned her trauma into triumph for herself, and now for others. Heather explores the anatomy of an affair, emph...

Professional cuddler, surrogate partner therapist and sex geek Michelle shares her wild and wonderful journey of transformation from a traditional-but-broken marriage to becoming a fierce advocate for holistic intimacy.  After 18 years of miserable partnership, Michelle discovered radical teachings on self-pleasure and body exploration, which sparked intense personal growth in tandem with the fina...

Full of hard-won wisdom, energy healer Brenda opens up about her experiences with people-pleasing, toxic relationships, and domestic abuse, and how she found the strength to break free and rebuild her life.  Brenda was a highly sensitive child who constantly strived to keep others at ease. These people-pleasing and overachieving behaviors led her into a dangerous marriage, which took years for her...

Parenting coach Melynda shares her story of making sense of the messages about sex she ingested in her young years as well as the process of healing from infidelity in her marriage. Growing up, Melynda had a natural curiosity about sex, but everywhere she turned for wisdom felt awkward, uncomfortable, or disjointed. When she and her middle school sweetheart married in their early 20s, the toxic me...

After forty years of shutting out her feelings, pleasing everyone but herself and stuffing down her lived experience, Nat asked her husband to stay with his sister for a few days and found herself uploading a vulnerable video to TikTok. Two weeks later, that video had half a million views. Her accidental stumbling into a social media firestorm led her to uncovering the truth - she had been sexuall...

In this episode, we hear from the incredible Veronica, who highlights the extreme sexual shame, suppression and silence of growing up in a Mexican family in California. When it came to periods, sexual experiences and relationships, Veronica shares that not only was she on her own, but disbelieved by her own mother. This resulted in deeply harmful experiences, including being assaulted by an adult...

What happens when one day, you suddenly find yourself living in your own personal nightmare? In this powerful interview, writer, podcaster and foster parent Manda Carpenter vulnerably shares about her journey of healing from deep emotional and sexual pain and how the hurt in her childhood later manifested within her marriage. She shares how she learned early in her life to use her sexual appeal as...

We kick off the second season of The Not Tonight Podcast with Caitlin and Rachel, as they give an overview of the diverse stories ahead. They remind us what this project is all about and why this work is deeply important in the world we live in, focusing on the necessity of truth-telling in our sexual stories. Additionally, they discuss the framework they have discovered which leads to a holistica...

Wrapping up Season One with one final episode, Rachel and Caitlin spend some time reflecting over the last few months, as well as casting vision over what's coming up next for the project. Both hosts sum up their experience with this work so far in three words each, and share some of the challenges and highlights of watching The Not Tonight Project unfold. They discuss the importance of taking for...