The Nonsense Burger

Send us Fan Mail Hey there strangers!  We're swooping in with our 97th episode dating all the way back to stories surrounding the Super Bowl.  Yes, it happened months ago but it's been about that long since our last episode went out.  Fear not!  Timmy fills us in on his experience as the Bengals' mascot which of course leads to the rest of the gang wondering what it would be like to...

Send us Fan Mail Happy Birthday to us!  The Burger just turned two years old, Folks!  To celebrate, Timmy and Francis sit down to chat about cologne and the douche canoes that put too much on.  Cool Water, anyone?  We also talk about other pleasant smells with an episode wrap all about more poor decisions on motorized toys.  Let's all celebrate together!  Love you.

Send us Fan Mail Wow!  We're back and we almost cover all the nouns in today's episode title.  Francis and Timmy rip through braided belts, chain wallets, DC shoes, fanny packs, and the makings of another t-shirt idea that may or may not ever come to fruition.  Glad to be flipping some more Nonsense on the grill.  Here we go.  Love you.

Send us Fan Mail You've gotta love your parents if for no other reason than the facts Timmy and Francis layout in today's Side of Fries.  Obsessing over raking leaves, snow blowing, struggling with phone conversations, and unnecessary trips to the hardware store.  We're slowly losing a lost art, Folks!  Let's enjoy the beautiful people that raised us right....for the most part....

Send us Fan Mail Hola, mis amigos!  We're back with another rip-roaring doozy of a fun time!  Francis entertains Timmy with tales from a friend's bachelor party down on the Baja California Peninsula of Mexico.  Adventures that range from semi-professional women volleyball players whipping their asses, eating live bait on a deep-sea fishing excursion, and carnivals in the middle of nowher...

Send us Fan Mail Merry Friday, Folks!  Don't worry.  The title might contain a naughty word but we hardly speak of it.  Instead, Michael, Oko, and Francis pull off the Burger's second unedited episode.  It's chock full of goodies.  Disappointing your kids with toots, diaper stories, sexual healing, and Travis Pastrami.  No clue?  No worries.  Get in here.

Send us Fan Mail Two for one!  Welcome to a nuthouse Friday, Folks!  Today's Fries include Timmy and Francis darting all over the board.  We talk about Captain Planet being the most useless superhero, Snapple cap writers, and why on earth people would ever want to leave the beach with a full cooler present.  Come have some fun.  Love you.

Send us Fan Mail And we're back!  Now, what better way is there to talk about all the glories of the holiday gauntlet than by discussing them immediately after they've happened?!  That's right, today Timmy and Francis pick apart all of those "fun" family experiences during the most wonderful time of the year.  We do you Folks one better though:  how can you dodge some of t...

Send us Fan Mail Happy post-holiday Friday!  Tossin' a quick Side of Fries at ya today with Timmy and Francis kickstarting a conversation highlighting all the fun experiences we might have during the holiday gauntlet.  From Halloween straight on through to the New Year, we've got some goofy observations for you.  Today we start our stories right before Thanksgiving with the next few epis...

Send us Fan Mail Hey there, Folks!  Here's to wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year along with the gang's 91st episode of silly, sloppy Nonsense!  Today's episode wraps our three-part series on our "love" for all things corporate.  Timmy, Michael, and Francis harp on the virtual meeting phenomenon which crescendos with an impromptu nude stroll across the screen duri...

Send us Fan Mail Greetings all you Fine Folks!  We're back yet again for what we're dubbing our second installment to corporate America's most obnoxious activities!  Last week was the PowerPoint; this week we're tackling another one of our worst nightmares:  the meeting.  Settle in or saddle up with Francis, Michael, and Timmy as they harp on work meetings.  Pre-meetings, post-...

Send us Fan Mail Hey Kids!  Let's go ahead and call this Part One of a three-part series on office shenanigans.  Today's episode features one of life's silly creations that has given us all less purpose on this planet:  PowerPoint.  What a damn useless tool.  Care to question your existence or why Ned felt the need to put all that mumbo jumbo on 35 separate slides?  We HATE PowerPoi...

Send us Fan Mail Mahalo, Folks!  So sorry for the delayed delivery of our newest episode.  Francis was struggling through a kitchen remodel (not really noteworthy) but more importantly, Oko became a father for the first time (he thinks)!  Congrats to our long-standing co-host and a dear friend.  He's denied trying breast milk straight from the tap but we all know he went under the blanket.  T...

Send us Fan Mail Hey-O!  Instead of wondering how all those animal pairs got onto one boat, we inquired as to what it might be like having some of our favorite animals' capabilities.  Birds; ever wonder what it'd be like to fly or crap on someone from the sky?  Would your life change if you could lick your own twig n' berries?  Whale sex?  Yes, we discuss it.  Dr. Dolittle's go...

Send us Fan Mail Hey-O!  Welcome to Friday and welcome to the Burger's first "live" episode!  That's right, folks!  There was no editing, no polishing, no removal of content; we just hit record and let Fantasia's brooms DANCE!  Michael, Timmy, and Francis got kooky talking about what it might be like to have a life-sponsored DJ.  Get on in here to experience the joys of la...

Send us Fan Mail Lace-up those golf shoes....hit the driving range....square up with the cart girl....promise yourself you won't shoot as bad as you did the round before and let's have some fun with a big 'ol beefy episode about all the goofy-ass shit surrounding the layman's golf experience!  Timmy and Francis play a full 18 holes in today's show breaking down the pains o...

Send us Fan Mail Here we go, Folks!  Today you've got all four fellas for the show, albeit Timmy's signature late arrival.  We start things off bitching about our dogs which leads to an odd sighting from Francis at a local wedding:  Beverage burros.  Donkeys with beers strapped to their backs.  From there we wind down a road of wonderment involving the concept of other animals serving th...

Send us Fan Mail Mahalo, Folks!  Michael, Oko, and Francis are here this week to have a little fun with the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.  Who knew of all the possible connections?  We sure didn't.  It gets weird; it gets kooky; it gets downright bananas.  Stop in for a quick show and a quick laugh.  Love you.

Send us Fan Mail Love a good old-fashioned short work week!  The Burger is back with a little bit larger of a Side of Fries than usual, but the gang gets wrapped up in talking about one of their comedic icons:  Chris Farley.  Tune in and relive some of his better-known characters as we giggle our way into the weekend.  Love you!

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back, Folks!  So good to see you!  Today's gang of three is rife with stories that are bound to get those soft giggles crescendoing to an all-out uproar of uncontrollable laughter!  Our journey begins with your hosts shamefully admitting to having trouble controlling the amount of alcohol they consume once they hit their "sweet spot".  From there we careen d...

Send us Fan Mail Better late than never, Folks!  Michael, Timmy, and Francis talk about diets (why?) and almost immediately shift their attention back to the Burger's favorite topic of discussion:  Michael J. Fox.  She's a short one but always a delight.  Consume a few burgers of nonsense over the weekend and keep having a ball with us!  Love you.

Send us Fan Mail How and why is the Fast and the Furious cinematic adventure still in existence?  The gang gets all worked up mulling over the infuriating possibilities of our generation's biggest disappointment.  Spoiler alert:  we hate those movies, but we love all you Fine Folks!  Get on in here!

Send us Fan Mail And we're back!  God, what a slack-ass I am!  Prepare yourselves for the resurgence of the Burger and for one big old killer episode today!  We are SLAMMING you with infomercial reviews and it's one gut-buster after another.  Did someone say Flexseal??  Get in here my little beauties!!  Let's party.  Love you.

Send us Fan Mail Afternoon, Folks!  We're tossin' a spiritual Sunday Side of Fries at ya today!  Actually, today's episode might make the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost all blush.   Timmy recalls a story from a Florida spring break that involves drinking beers that have flowed betwixt another man's butt cheeks.  You've got to listen to believe, so get on in here!  Enjoy yet a...

Send us Fan Mail Evening Folks!  Apologies for the brief hiatus.  The gang is back in full force with the show's 80th episode!  Unfortunate circumstances force us to experience Oko's murder laugh, the creation of a game show we're calling "Oh, You'll Get It', when we'll use a public restroom and when we won't, along with an earth-shattering question on how y...