The Mr.Nobody Podcast: Season 3

I almost run into my son in another dimension, I feel a white staff in my hands. I am not in control either in life and in my hallucinations. I recall special moments that might have remained hidden in my mind if not for these sound paintings. More questions, less answers.  My beautiful boy and I attend one special game. At least we had one. Falling.

https://twitter.com/TheMrNobodyPod1/status/1301586183022161920 Largest Heroin Bust EVER in the US, makes no headlines!! Read the Article from the link above! Outrageous. It made headline in Mexico. Hmm. This Article with Antonio's name came out days after I made the podcast. A total agent for a Mexican cartel. The drug game destroys everyone along the chain. Poor Mexican villagers are forced to gr...

The effects lasted a solid week. Dreams and feelings collided and meshed. I started a work project the same week. One foot in and one foot out of this world. I share my reflections  I am my reflections I better leave it at that enjoy, i guess    

Whoa. I took my daughters invitation to experience DMT.  My intention was to get beyond myself somehow, my story, my self, my grief, my interpretation of things. It was a journey into the unknown and meta-life. Crazy wisdom. I disappeared into my primal existence. I was surprised at how happy my authentic state is and how I've been blocked by the sadness over the loss of my son. I heard a voice. I...

I prepare myself to experience DMT with my daughter...I'm afraid. Ben, a mercurial friend led us into the park on thanksgiving morning... I recount what I learned from wild mushrooms. My kids asked me to share a sacred experience with them, I regret turning them down. remember the dove, a silhouette against the sky... I face my fear, I cannot rescue him.  

I had a psychic connection with my son, especially when thing were seriously wrong. This episode recounts an incident when I knew things were wrong. It was like phone was always ringing but I only heard it when the veil was thin enough.  He almost died that night but that was only the beginning of the end. I had some great years mixed in with the drug nightmare.  I wish I could have done more. We...

The anchor and the boat are the same. I confess to my addictions. Being honest is painful. Commitment to betterment is the currency of our value. Turn Yourself Around  

Our reputation is all we have, it surrounds us as we drag it thru time. We are our actions.  I would have worked on the blues form with my son, something I spent so much beautiful time on. Structure, deep feeling and groove. I take you to one of my darkest revelations and the deepest conversion. My children's young faces changed my entire trajectory. I share my shame. The horrors of my inherited a...

Reflection both light and dark. The song I wrote for him over Bird Changes.  Our bodies are on loan and I discuss the ethics of self care, meat, cancer and how it's all about you after all. I explore a deep and dark connection between my father, myself and my son that startles me.  I can hear my humor mixed with my pain when i listen back. I search for meaning.   

I explore my limited perspective thru my apartment window. Jazz, a Choros, and broken toys permeate my mind.  I visit Freud's theory of Alienation and counter balance it with an important insight from Jung.  I sort thru permanently deleted messages, crack smokers, hot soup and other dilemmas.  My son's voice weaves the performance together as I question my own grasp on knowing anything for certain...

Recorded when fires and looting were accompanying protests, i explore my own relationship to my criminal and slacker past. I tell the story of a neighbor who was shot on the job and visit some close calls. I propose the value of not being an asshole, generally as being one can get you killed.  We owe each other the same kindness we show ourselves and hopefully that is an deep kindness. We are all...

I take a journey into the chest of a man I named Fred. I am moved by how different his dead body was compared to my son's. I connect experiences and find threads that I never meant to pull on. I revisit my son the last time I saw him.  I compare and contrast how two bodies have such different destinations. I lament how deeply I lament the waste that was my son's final journey. I feel guilt sometim...

Hello there. For your consideration, I jumped this episode forward to release during this weekend. My apologies as it is a bit dark. Music from my past permeates and I even sing a tune I wrote another life ago. I thank you for listening. with deep regard Mr. Nobody  

I have to admit my hostility towards hard drug users and especially pushers of heroin, meth, opiates and crack. They are murderers in my opinion. I make some deep confessions of my own hypocrisy. I tried to teach my son that hard drugs would lead to early death and shitty lives. I suppose my own straddling the lines of legality in my own life taught me how wrong and damaging escapism, normalizatio...

An intense and detailed story written by my lost son. He was brilliant, this is one episode I can't listen back to as it reminds me of what is lost. There are many bits that refer to his and my life imbedded in his writing. Locations and small details that are all too revealing. I can only imagine what he could have done with his beautiful life. He wanted to be a professional writer. This is my me...

I was largely self taught as a young guitarist, I finally studied privately with amazing teachers. After my mini indy-rock guitar  career slowed down, I aggressively took on Jazz with full commitment.  My son and I were both obsessed with finding our respective sounds and paths, we both loved Jazz playing and spent many hours discussing various approaches, all this lead me to ask myself: "what wou...

In this episode I explore how I feel stuck. I can't quite move on. An episode where I thought i had the virus made me appreciate sweet life and acknowledge my shelf-life. Perspective. I am not in control of my ultimate destiny. I'm only partially in control of my temporary existence.  My outrage parts for a moment to reveal an apology. Life can be so sweet.  

I report on how quiet the Plague has made my city. It's hard to juxtapose all the death with the sheer pleasure of hitting a huge pause button. Unfortunately more drug abuse has emerged in my family. I recall the day my son was cremated, what I did, what I felt. The connection. So many have died and I selfishly mourn one. I also discuss a mystical experience I had...my rebirth. A different kind of...

In this episode I explore memories and the space between thoughts where are primordial selves exist.  My son encounters a wild and dangerous animal and another takes him away forever. I feel the beating of distant drums from a tribe I can't recall but when i lost him, I was reunited with universal grief and sorrow which connected me to nature. I spiral some dark thoughts and I almost wished to die...

Your mindset is everything,  similar bodies have such different realities all dictated my their self-enlightenment  In this episode, i share the last time i saw my father. I  expose the monster in me and how important it is that we trust the thing we tell each other.  Truth is the only thing that exists and time reveals all projections. Sadly too late. Each of us is personally responsible to not r...

Only you can decide to cultivate yourself, understand your dark secrets and respect the mystery of life. You cannot be kept from favorite things. Sometimes things are exactly as they appear. I reveal deep truths about myself. Music for him. too late