Scott Johnson
The Morning Stream
The Morning Stream, Mon thru Thurs, every morning, with Scott Johnson and the Frogpants Network. News, culture, politices and talk each and every day! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Episodes
TMS 2078: Put the pipe between the buns 08.03.2021 1:46:31
I Don't Like Decaf Teaaaaaaaaaa. Sticking a Little German In You! Are You Prepared To Receive My Swabbed Anus? Good for Preventing Death. Raise Your Hand If You Don't Like To Fart. Now that's a Walnut of a Different Color! Are You A Freak And A Patron? When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Hamburger Buns. Decafstration Tea. You Gotta Keep 'Em Caffeinated. Get Your Blood Ready, It's Going To Be Sucked....
TMS 2077: Oogachaka Babytech 04.03.2021 1:48:12
Give me the peen! I need the Vaccine. Blendersofa, when the walls fell. 'All Your Base' Is Nearly Eligible For Its COVID Vaccine. Me Played By Me. Even Third Eagle has a Place. People Like The Bumble! The chicken was a dancing baby! Meat Pies & Wine with Gidgit! We asked for PG boobies, they wouldn't give us PG boobies. The Bibby Glaive. A question so sweet, we all got Diabetus. It's Scottypoo...
TMS 2076: Zurich is Still Wrong 03.03.2021 1:55:17
That'll Teach Him To Bring A Knife To A Cock Fight! Canada, Still not in the EU. Who Has The Clog Shoes & The Windmills? Rosebelly Movie? Cloretz Monief Magunga. THERE'S NO SPIT! France is nothing but Paris and wastelands. Germany is weird. Cock-A-Doodle-DON'T! I Don't Trust D. Beeeeeeeee. What's Under Naked? Ex-Semi-Pro Farm League Baseball Player. Jammin' the unit up the nose. Fudge Tokens w...
TMS 2075: Sippin on Gin and Raisins 01.03.2021 1:56:24
Don't put all your eggs in one a-hole. Get Some Johnson and Johnson in your Johnson. Same Story, Irregardless Of Man Or Lady Parts! Assassin's Creed: Enema. Rectum? Darn Near Scrambled 'Em! Build a Bot to Lick your Butt. What Was The Egg That Broke The Camel's Anus?? How do you make Egg Salad? Warning! Lacquer thinner is not, I repeat NOT, a haircare product. I Still Don't Have Arthritis! Thanks R...
TMS 2074: Soup whiskey 25.02.2021 1:11:43
Join for the Meat, stay for the Gravy. Mars Rover, Mars Rover, Let Dirt Come Over. How to Gently Scold a Lynx. Look At My Wand!! I don't like Logitech Geeeeeeee Hub. A pipe bomb for a boy is a little on the nose. Ya think? Grandma Butterbean Fell Out Today. She was a Nunko Pop. I Will Rip Off My Clothes, Please Put it in Me. Beautiful assistants never have a name. 3 Corpses & a Soundboard was...
TMS 2073: Froccoli and Fotatoes 24.02.2021 1:37:14
Then you shall have no smell, no logic, and no Lt. Yar. A Fist Full of Craisins and a Face Full of Cologne. There's a Lot We Can Learn from Red Dwarf. What do you expect me to smell and taste in bed? Lego Hobbes & Shaw. SAY COLUMBIA HOUSE! Don't Give Whats his nugget an award. A Myriad of Smelly Gels. Did Your Tooth Just Fall Out?! Paging Tyler Durden, You MAY Have Covid! The Spit Goes in the...
TMS 2072: The Jim Reeves Life Alert 23.02.2021 1:45:34
From The Top To Phlebotomist. Put Your Sweet Lips Closer To The Phone. Kale in your Butthole Levels of Credit. Right Through, Like Kale in Your Butthole. ERCOT is without honor. I don't like Jim Reeeeeeeeves. Rogue Goose in Denver. Tony the Tiger's a Cokehead, right? Oops, All Crackberries. Scott's got a nice plump one. How's Jamie Lynn Spears Doin... Never mind. I don't Care. Excuse Me, Do you ha...
TMS 2071: Barry Excited 22.02.2021 1:44:43
Who is Rorschach? That's The Question. Daft Punk and Tennille. Barry Gordon James Levit Fraggle Scott Bibby Show! Unsolved Mystery Solved! Receiving the Playstation Vaccine. All Roads Lead to Kaley Cuoco. Resin-Ass Evil. There are FOUR nut kicks! Crystallized Internet Entity. You know a Deuce when you see it. Kevin is Done With Your Routes. You Shall Have None in Littleton, None in West Denver, an...
TMS 2070: Dude Ways 18.02.2021 1:46:56
Schmidt Happens! The Dog Exploded, or I need your EIN number. A Canadian, with the Yellow Pages, in the Nightstand. I'll take reversing the polarity of the warp core for 200, Geordi. Mystic River Or Pizza? There's Poop Potatoes! Cut the Feed! Tik Tok Teens Try Troubling Trend. 49.99$ Per Month! Deal's Off!! The dog exploded on my pile! He's a Delicious Honey Baked Ham. The 12 Phone Numbers of Prin...
TMS 2069: Four Swedish Ladies & 12 Cats 17.02.2021 1:48:58
There were many women on Scrubs. Close-Up of the Brithin' Space. Soory aboot Tim Horton's eh? We Don't Like Fleeeeeeeeets! Jonah Hill Is Big, YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! Release the Laser Head. Wickedly Handsome, Dirty Fat man. CSI: Mukbang. My Stormtrooper is looking at my crotch. Hornythology. Main Stream Weenie. Squirtle was my nickname in college. I like a little sideways fish. thats not brown at all. T...
TMS 2068: THE CAKE WAS A BABY! 16.02.2021 1:33:46
Do I like Ted Cruz's haircut? Let me mullet over. Nobody Puts Baby in a Cupcake. Lack Of Chair, Lack Of Hair, Lack Of Clare. Weezer's weird right? Did You Put An Egg In Your Ginger Hair? MANY Naked Meth-heads. What Do Strong People Rip Now? You KNOW How To Earn Some Beads. Floridian Rhapsody. One of the Seven Numbers. Somewhere There Is A Phonebook! Lars Vandalay: Importer & Exporter Extroidin...
TMS 2067: Dad Flexes 15.02.2021 1:51:38
$35 Toblerone. Scott and Dunaway get stuck in the Hotel Room. Your Move, Mulligan Boy. A dollar late and never sorry. No Mint, No Phonebook, and No Lt Yar. 11 Degrees Bizzow Zero. Got the big Jesus there. Magical Hacky Sack. The Towels are Chipped! No Sheet, Sherlock. This is starting to feel like a Patriots game. Socks... REALLY? Child-saving Father Subroutines. Garbagio? I hate that name. Making...
TMS 2066: You can't handle the TOOTH! 11.02.2021 1:52:30
I Need A BONE Detector! Jamaica's out of weeeeed. Who's Our New Cute?? Hippie Dippie Mystic Gimme. Don't Rush Geddy Lee. He Likes Dudes! He Married One! I Just SLOWLY Fall To My Death. Binary with 2's instead of 0's. Spam in the Clipclop. 17 Murders Unsolved Due to Gross-Out. I Don't Even Transmog in Real Life! Check Out That Adonis of an Orthodontist. Free Means Not Having to Pay. Spreading Their...
TMS 2065: Over to Yuki 10.02.2021 1:54:39
What Size Was Your Floppy? Stretchy Yoga Hulk Pants. I Don't Think Paul Bettany Can Actually Fly! 2 in the front, and a weird one in the back. You Don't Really READ Porn. A Lump With A Coat On. Batgas. Ralph Lipshitz Lauren. Football & Farts. Reading Sinestro's Corpse. The Pants don't rip because Weiner! Those Butts Don't Wipe Themselves. Bigger, Blacker Floppy Drive. Show Me SNIKT! The semico...
TMS 2064: Bubba The Gripper 09.02.2021 1:25:01
Hey There, Chisel Tip! You will have NO McFish, NO McShake, and NO Lieutenant Yar. Tell Darth Vada. My Romance with a Chemical Morning Jacket. Ibbott and the Tale of the Manufactured Meet Cute. Parking Lot Tacos 2: Mom Wants a Bite. Masks Have the Higher Ground. Rectal Monster Drink. Spinach Vagandle. The Darma Initiative and Greg. You need Weiner in the Wind. Masks don't work? Tell that to Batman...
TMS 2063: Give Us Another Tober 08.02.2021 1:48:17
Used Aquarium Gravel Cereal. Wasn't there a Hazardous Show called Dukes of Somethin? Bonsai Pizza Worthy of a French Handshake. Special K John Small Berries. If We Aren't Reminded of Budweiser Every 30 Minutes, We Will Forget About It. Dead-Eyed Potato Face. King Vitamin was the worst. Honeycomb WAS Big. Manspllaining Wandavision. Unity through shitty beer. congrats on your stupid face. Toaster cr...
TMS 2062: Spiritual Nuggets 04.02.2021 1:43:43
Masturbation Gibbon. Harvey Badman, Attorney in Jail. Dick Pics Are Made From Dixels. Howling Mad M.O.D.O.K. Bed, Bath & Beyond Meat!! Time + Farts = More Farts. Brain Surgery Can't Fix the WAINT. Brian's going to put his headphones down for a moment and go wash his eye out. 6 tacos in an Office Depot Farking Lot. No Cuts, No Butts. A Delicious Frameless Number. Back To Regular Old-Ass Non-Org...
TMS 2061: No Monkey Union 03.02.2021 1:45:04
How much for a weekly Jerk? 60% Dad Jokes, 40% Bacon! What About Pac-Man? Pac-Man? Maybe Pac-Man? Rheeeeeeeeeonnnnnn Johnnnsonnnnnnnnnn!!! Attack of the Solanine Tomatoes. One of the Sheep could be a Goat! Dangling from the Tank Butt. Forced Monkey Labor. Buttery Hot Meat Flavored Wine. This PotatoCast is Tuberular. I drink to forget what is healthy for me. Non Stop Pooper Machines. I'mma Letchu F...
TMS 2060: Admiral Dumbass 01.02.2021 1:47:51
No curb too high for a rental car. The Failing Galactic Empire. The One With Batman's Weiner in it. Testicle Inertia Enterprise Fighters. The USB-C of Buttholes. It's Girl Scout Mafia Time. I'm still writing January on my Twitch streams. It's Pronounced Cheech-a-Rones. The Printer/Scanner/Fax of Animal Orifi. His Dad's A Big-Time Smoker Guy! Darth Spicoli. Meat for Harnessing. Who says pork rinds...
TMS 2059: Who's Brimley 28.01.2021 2:02:13
HERE WE GO WITH TRUMP AGAIN! Is It Too Early For A Chicken Sandwich? Shitbreaker Colon Furnacehole. God Australian humor is weird. He makes a better Phillip! Is That a Two Car Garage or Are You Just Happy To Park Here? Midnight in Bangkok where the girls go fumble. I Died, But No Big Deal. Skinny Fat People is the name of my Fatboy Slim Cover Band. Make your Mouth Taste Good. Lava Tools. Floating...
TMS 2058: Gradient Filter Mutton Chops 27.01.2021 1:42:20
Where Do Mutton Chops Start on a Bald Man? Looked Like Jesus, Smelled Like a Homeless Guy. Dantoine Is Like Tatooine, But Has Dan And Is Worse. It's Similar to Bitcoin, in that You'll Never Understand It. You May Know Shaq from Such Things as Basketball. Walkin into more cowbell. Wilhelm Brand Potato Chips. Next Up On AMC: The Short Shorts! Bulging Out Of My Torso! Never go full monkey tail beard....
TMS 2057: Nickleknack 26.01.2021 1:43:33
Inserting things into Bernie Sanders. Non-Newtonian Apple Juice! Borax, Boron, Bor'axe. Super Soft Nicole. Two-Hit Wonders? Choppin at the Rocks to Find the Good Stones. Mom Owns Rehab Town. John came into my life at 35. Grab a Potato and Peel that Bugger. Ibbott & Bronson, this Fall on NBC! Put my Coccyx in your Donut. Canned in the Early 90s. 23 Across: 10 Letter Word For Cruise Ship Ailment...
TMS 2056: Battle Colon! 25.01.2021 1:45:09
After 10 years you'd think we'd figure it out by now. I Don't Like Tom Bradyyyyyyyyyy. Is water blue? Cause like I really want to know. Foam Finger And Suspenders. Improperly Using it on my Face. When a kid comes along, herniate it. Sorry, I Broke Your Wind Present. Face Toupe. TMS: 60% gray 40% not. We used to bounce things off mom. We Lost, It's Clearly Your Fault. Hummingbirds are squirrely. Yo...
TMS 2055: Mermie Sanders Bemes 21.01.2021 1:40:33
That's A Full-On Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Tumor Relocation Services. A Guy Died In My Room Last Night!! Sucking Up Old Cheese and Mud. 4 and a half is less than 20 million. Corrections from John in the Back. Nick's Got A Mighty Convoy! I'm Gonna Kick You In The Testicles, Even If You're A Lady! Going to the Sorting Hat in the sky. Kitchen Monster Clog Hole. Don't Shoot Me In The Face with Vaccine! Histo...
TMS 2054: Meat Fellow Hot Dog Fans 20.01.2021 1:44:45
Killer Klowns from Downton Abbey. Pence's Pocket Fly Familiar. Even The DOG Doesn't Want Dominos! It's not delivery, it Dogiorno. Dollaredoos! Fun Mom Dinner: An Armie Hammer Story. Bulbasaur with a Nice Haircut. Friends: the Baby Years. Dirty DMs Done Dirt Cheap. Mommy, Why Are You Drippy? Tattooed Sexyman. I will take Cannibalism for 100. Do You Have Wiener Skills? Wasn't there a Jake Gylhenhall...
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