The Midlife Mess

Originally released in January of 2026 as Episode 7, Lara sits down with her therapist, Kelly Quarles , for a real-life look at what healing can actually feel like—messy, layered, hopeful, and very human. Kelly shares her path from journalism to trauma therapy, why she believes trauma isn’t only “big T” events, and how therapy can help when your world flips upside down. Together, they revisit Lara...

For the Season 1 finale of Midlife Mess, I'm joined by my favorite guest ever—my daughter, Caroline. We chat about summer break, dance recitals, animal reports, pool days, upcoming vacations, favorite colors, dream houses, and what it's like being 8 years old. Along the way, Caroline shares her thoughts on third grade, growing up, our pets Theo and Gracie, and life in our newly renovated...

New episodes over Summer Break are tough, so this is the first in my Summer Flashback Friday Series! This is a good one to start with...Lauren is insightful and our gym-convos are, of course, unhinged!  Enjoy! Lara’s first guest is here—her personal trainer, Lauren Michi—and this episode is equal parts funny, real, and motivating. They talk about what training looks like in midlife, how the right...

What if the Burned Haystack Method works...and you're still left wondering where all the needles are? After finishing Burn the Haystack and diving back into online dating, Lara expected to have a clearer strategy. Instead, she found herself asking much bigger questions about modern dating, self-worth, independence, and what it means to be a woman in midlife. In this episode, Lara reflects on...

This week on The Midlife Mess , I’m diving into the viral dating philosophy from Burn the Haystack by Dr. Jennie Young — and honestly? I feel personally attacked in the best possible way. I break down: What the “Burn the Haystack” method actually is How critical discourse analysis applies to dating profiles Why language reveals more than people realize The difference between intuition and rational...

This week on The Midlife Mess , I’m talking about love—but not just the romantic kind. After revisiting 8 Rules of Love by Jay Shetty, I found myself reflecting on something that hit even harder this time around: society teaches us to place romantic love at the top of the pyramid, while often overlooking the many other forms of love that shape our lives just as deeply. As someone navigating single...

This week, Lara shares a very real recap of the past couple of weeks—from spring break comparison spirals and a meaningful trip with her daughter, to friendship accountability, letting go of someone from her past, and processing tragic loss in her community. This episode is about motherhood, grief, emotional growth, and what it looks like to hold joy and heartbreak at the same time. In this episod...

This week on The Midlife Mess, Lara shares a deeply personal story about receiving anonymous text messages from burner phone numbers — and the bigger truth it revealed about shame, secrecy, power, and what it means to exist as a woman in the world. What starts as an uncomfortable experience becomes a larger conversation about unwanted attention, body confidence in midlife, the emotional labor wome...

This week, I’m talking about attachment theory — one of the psychology topics that has fascinated me for years, both from studying psychology in college and from living through enough relationships to know this stuff gets very real very fast. Inspired by Dr. Amir Levine’s work in Attached and his upcoming book Secure , this episode goes beyond just labeling people as anxious, avoidant, or secure....

In part two of this conversation, Lara welcomes her brother Joel back to the podcast after his recent health scare. With Joel slowly feeling more like himself, they talk about recovery, parenting, childhood roles, divorce, emotional awareness, and how two siblings can grow up in the same family but have completely different experiences. Lara shares more about how becoming the emotional glue in her...

In Episode 14, Lara is joined by her brother Joel (newly 40 and officially “midlife”) to tell the story behind a sudden, terrifying health spiral that started with flu + strep and escalated into mastoiditis, meningitis, shingles, and even a “brain-adjacent” blood clot. They talk about what it felt like to lose basic processing (including not being able to read a simple kids’ book), the reality of...

This week’s episode is a real-time life update — recorded on a quiet Saturday night, alone, with a glass of wine and a lot of honesty. Lara shares what midlife looks like in the in-between moments — when your child is at their other parent’s house, the weekend stretches long, and the silence feels louder than usual. In this episode: A family update after her brother’s recent health scare The reali...

Charleston has been ranked a top travel city for years — but visiting and living here are two totally different experiences. In this episode, Lara shares why she chose Charleston, what surprised her after moving from the DC area, and how each part of town has its own personality — from downtown’s postcard charm to West Ashley’s laid-back “real life” vibe, to Mount Pleasant’s suburban-coastal polis...

In this episode of Midlife Mess , Lara dives into one of the most nuanced and emotionally charged conversations of our time: the dynamic between men and women. Is it strained? Yes. Is it hopeless? Absolutely not. Lara believes we’re actually closer than ever to something healthier — but growth always comes with friction. From Travis and Taylor (yes, we’re going there) to the “wives submit…” Bible...

In this episode of The Midlife Mess , Lara explores the idea that we only fall in love three times—and why that framework can be incredibly freeing in midlife. Inspired by You Only Fall in Love Three Times by Kate Rose, this episode breaks down soulmate love, karmic love, and twin flame love, and how each relationship serves a purpose rather than representing a failure. Through personal reflection...

In this bonus (no production, just talking) follow-up episode, Lara returns to a heavy but necessary conversation—one rooted not in politics, but in humanity , balance, and the often-silent majority living somewhere in the middle. Sparked by a recent, deeply troubling incident involving ICE and a protester’s death, this episode is not about choosing sides. It’s about questioning fear-based narrati...

This week’s episode is a pause, a processing moment, and an honest check-in, in real time after watching the disturbing video out of Minnesota over the weekend. Lara found herself unsure how to show up—yet committed to showing up anyway. What unfolds is a calm, empathetic reflection on power, escalation, grief, and the complicated emotions that surface when authority and humanity collide. Drawing...

In Episode 7, Lara sits down with her therapist, Kelly Quarles , for a real-life look at what healing can actually feel like—messy, layered, hopeful, and very human. Kelly shares her path from journalism to trauma therapy, why she believes trauma isn’t only “big T” events, and how therapy can help when your world flips upside down. Together, they revisit Lara’s early days in therapy after a major...

Lara’s first guest is here—her personal trainer, Lauren Michi—and this episode is equal parts funny, real, and motivating. They talk about what training looks like in midlife, how the right trainer becomes a trusted person (aka “gym therapy”), and why strength training matters more than ever. Lara shares her 2025 injury story: a fall that shattered and dislocated her left elbow, surgery, months of...

In Episode 5 of Midlife Mess , Lara digs into why astrology resonates so deeply in midlife—especially when identity, emotions, and life roles start shifting. Prompted by social media chatter about 2025 being the Year of the Snake and 2026 being the Year of the Horse, she explores how the Chinese zodiac connects (and differs) from Western astrology, and why both can be useful tools for meaning-maki...

In this shorter, more casual holiday episode, Lara shares a cozy midlife New Year’s mindset—lower expectations, more peace, and zero pressure to “eventize” the night. After a full house at Christmas (family, kids, and pets included), she reflects on how her relationship with holidays has shifted in midlife: less chasing the perfect moment, more grace for quiet, comfy celebrations (but still with s...

In this deeply honest and often hilarious episode, Lara opens up about what it’s really like to date in midlife—for the first time. After two marriages and a late start in the dating world, she shares the lessons she’s learned over the past five years navigating online dating, shifting expectations, and her own evolving sense of self. Lara walks listeners through the good (clarity, honesty, emotio...

Listen if you want to hear my story, Lara, your host. You may find it helpful to see where I came from and what my journey has looked like? If you're curious, give this episode a listen. If not, then you won't miss anything topical. 

Welcome to The Midlife Mess Podcast! Your host, Lara, introduces herself, her motivation for starting a podcast, and what you can expect in future episodes.