The Messy Middle

When people hear that I had a baby at 47, they usually focus on my age. But honestly, one of the hardest parts wasn't deciding I wanted another baby, it was deciding how. In this episode, I share the personal journey behind that decision, including why I chose to use an egg donor, the different options I considered, and what it felt like navigating motherhood later in life. This isn't a me...

In this episode of The Messy Middle, I talk about a conversation I recently had with my doctor that unexpectedly made me reflect on how much women’s lives have changed from previous generations. From motherhood timelines to aging, identity, and family dynamics, so many women today are living lives that don’t fit the traditional boxes we grew up expecting. I also open up about becoming both a young...

In this episode, I talk about the very surreal experience of being pregnant at the same time as my daughter, something I never imagined would be part of my life story. We talk about what it’s like being both a younger grandma and an older mom at the same time, how motherhood has looked completely different across generations, and how this unexpected experience actually brought my daughter and me e...

There was a time in my life when I thought having a baby later in life didn’t make sense. I had a very clear idea of how things were “supposed” to go. You have kids young… you raise them… and then you move on. But life doesn’t always follow that timeline. I had my son at 47. And while it didn’t ruin my life… it completely rewrote it. In this episode, I talk about what that actually looks like—the...

If you would’ve asked me 20 years ago what my life would look like right now… this wouldn’t have been it. I had my son at 47, started a completely new career at 50, and somehow found myself starting over in ways I didn’t expect at this stage of life. I really thought by now things would feel more settled… more certain… like I’d have it together more than this. But instead, I still feel like I’m fi...

I really thought making mom friends would be easy. You have kids, they have kids… it should just click, right? But it hasn’t. In this episode, I talk about what it’s actually been like trying to build real connections as a mom, especially when you feel like you’re in a completely different place than everyone around you. I’ve met people. I’ve had conversations. I’ve even tried apps like Peanut. Bu...

Everyone loves to say “age is just a number.” And sure… in some ways, that’s true. But it’s not the whole story. In this episode, I’m talking about what actually shows up in age gap relationships, the subtle, everyday things no one really says out loud. Not the obvious stuff we all think about… but the quiet moments, the differences in how you see the future, and the parts that can make you feel l...

We talk about how beautiful it is to have a baby later in life… but we don’t really talk about what comes after. The thoughts. The timing. The parts that quietly sit in the background. This episode gets into the side of late motherhood that doesn’t get said out loud, but probably should.

In this episode, I talk about something I was genuinely afraid of for most of my life, getting older. Growing up, aging felt like something to avoid. Gray hair, weight, wrinkles… it was all talked about like it was the beginning of the end. And I believed that for a long time. But now that I’m here, it doesn’t feel like that at all. In this episode, I share what aging has actually felt like for me...

This is part 2 of something I didn’t really think about before having a baby later in life. Everyone talks about the decision, whether you should or shouldn’t, but no one really talks about what it actually feels like after. For me, one of the biggest things was realizing I don’t really fit anywhere anymore. Not with the younger moms… not with people my age… just kind of in the middle of it all. A...

I had a baby at 47… and I didn’t tell anyone I was trying. Not even my best friend. In this episode, I’m talking about what it really looks like to become a mom later in life, beyond the surface-level conversations. Because it’s not just about age. It’s about identity, timing, and the parts people don’t always say out loud. From not getting pregnant naturally, to the emotional weight of making tha...

Apparently women over 50 are entering their “I don’t care era.” The problem? I still care… about what I say, how awkward I am in conversations, and whether my sourdough starter is going to survive the week. In this first episode I talk about midlife expectations, the women online who seem to have everything figured out, and why I think I might actually be in my “experiment era” instead.