The Mental Load

Telling moms to practice self-care is not an answer to the mental load. What is the issue?  Telling moms to practice more self-care is a bullshit cop out.  Self care is defined as the ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being. The term “self-care” actually has roots in the civil r...

Motherly's State of Motherhood and the Mental Load Join us and special guest, Kate Anderson, Chief of Staff at Motherly to discuss their annual State of Motherhood report. The largest body of research regarding motherhood and issues impacting families. Kate Anderson is a leader in generating change and gender equality within the startup space. As a Chief of Staff at Motherly, a wellbeing destinati...

What effect do the holidays have on the mental load for women? The holidays are often some of the most stressful time of year, financially, emotionally and physically for many families. Creating the holiday magic often falls to the already full plate of the mom, so what can we do to have a hot-mess-less holiday season? Angies hot take covers: Caring for your spouse during the holiday season so it...

How our partner's anger impacts the mental load for women and affects our kids What is the issue?  We are part of a generation that wasn’t raised to think about kids’ feelings. Our parents didn’t ignore us, but they also weren’t as keyed in on emotional and social well-being as we are today. A big part of the mental load is that we’re the emotional backstop for everyone in the family and when...

How routines help the mental load In our house, there's two versions of the mental load argument. Version 1 was "you just need to ask for help" now we're on to what I like to call 2.0 of the argument: "we just need a better routine". This statement sounds more progressive. It's action-oriented and inclusive. I said "we!". But here's the thing, routines aren't the entire solution. They don't absolv...

How does this affect mom's careers? Those who are able to put in more time, more travel, be available at all kinds of hours, etc. are more likely to get the big clients, the promotions, the career awards. But it’s not just about the time or physical availability; the mental load also affects mom’s careers because it makes it harder to focus and do deep work.  “When a man expects his partner t...

The Mental Load: Why saying "Just ask for Help" is wrong On this hot take, Katlynn discusses why men in relationships should not say "you just need to ask for help". This makes women feel: undervalued unappreciated taken for granted The reality is that you chose to do this life together, so saying that she just needs to ask for help makes the mental load her problem, indicates that the things she...

How the Patriarchy Affects the Mental Load This isn't a "fuck the patriarchy/white straight men suck" episode. This is an acknowledgment and discussion of facts. The facts are, that the patriarchy exists; by nature, it oppresses women and people of color; and it needs to be reformed. (which would then make it something new altogether) Society and institutions are made to evolve as they learn and I...

Shorter episodes and weekly hot takes are coming later this fall! The Mental Load will drop new season every summer and winter. This gives Angie and Katlynn time to research and create quality content during the off-season. Thanks to everyone who's supported us so far on this journey, we're excited to bring you some amazing guests and conversations soon.

Millennial women are getting divorced at higher rates and the reason is because of the mental load. The reality is women are not attracted to men we have to mother. We’re taught when we’re looking for relationships to look for someone we can take of. But that shit doesn’t change once you get married. Today we're joined by Felicia Kashevaroff. Owner of Tend Task and a divorced mom. We dive in deep...

What is the dad privilege? The dad privilege, maternal gatekeeping and the mental load. What is dad privilege? The internet says: it’s when dads are treated like heroes and get praised for doing the same shit that moms do every fucking day. Dads get praised for just showing up. “Aw, you planned dinners for the whole week!” “Aw, you brought your kids to the birthday party!” “Aw, you gave the baby a...

What are we teaching young boys and young girls about the mental load? What do our kids learn from watching their moms carry the mental load? One goal of this podcast is to break a generational cycle.  What are we worried our sons are learning when we bear the mental load? "A popular squabble in my household stems from the fact that I bear the bulk of the mental load. My spouse—who’s a very i...

Advice to fix the mental load How women can lighten the mental load Welcome, Melissa Bloom, energy coach! The most popular question we get is "how do I fix the imbalance? how do I get rid of or at least lighten the mental load?" It's a challenging issue because it has so many different facets to it. Enter, Melissa. As an energy coach, Melissa works with all kinds of clients to find balance and fee...

How does gender programming affect the mental load? All of this to say that women are taught from an early age that our worth and value comes from the house we keep and the kids we raise. Dads are taught that their job is done as soon as they’ve provided shelter and money for the family.  What this looks like in Women:  Programmed to think self worth comes from the house we keep and the...

Advice on how to change the mental load from a marriage therapist. The effect the mental load has on marriages and how to have the conversation with your spouse. It's (one) of the episodes you all have been waiting for. How do you have the mental load conversation with your spouse and create meaningful change? Licensed therapist, Kristen Sanchez, takes us through the process of: having the convers...

What is the mental load? How does the mental load affect women? Is the mental load a real thing? And if it is, what is its impact on women? The mental load is all the “invisible work” that needs to be done to keep daily life going This includes cognitive and emotional needs as well. Cognitive labor involves thinking of all the practical needs and logistics and emotional labor involves managin...

What is the impact of the mental load on women's careers? Invisible labor for women at work How did we get here? The mental load has been a generational issue but it didn't become obvious to everyone until Covid where women suddenly found themselves working from home, parenting 24/7 and teaching their children. While men picked up more duties around the house, it was not enough to radically shift...

Changing the mental load Helping moms understand and balance the mental load of raising kids Do you ever feel like you want to scream because you do all the stuff and things related to running your household and raising kid and yet nobody seems to notice how hard you work? We do. We're Angie and Katlynn. Two millennial moms brought together by our spitfire daughters. We're here to explore why the...