The Mental Load

When men judge women for the mental load and how we choose to handle it. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses why sometimes as mothers, we might feel judged by our partners for the way we parent in certain situations/at certain times. But the reality is, that sometimes this is a result of the massive weight of the mental load and our parenting choice at that moment is an effort to lighten that load...

How do kids' chores impact the mental load for women? In this full-length episode, we discuss various ways that getting kids to pitch in and do chores around the house, when managed differently between partners, can create more mental load for mothers. That's right, we’re talking about kids, chores and cooperative cleaning. AKA: getting your children to work together to clean or tidy up. There’s a...

When husbands pass chores off to their kids it creates more mental load for women. In today's hot take, Katlynn discusses why passing the buck on chores might seem helpful and like husband's are teaching kids a lesson, but it really just keeps the mental load in place. More and more, men are realizing and becoming aware of the need to lighten the mental load in their households. Especially when it...

The mental load of daily responsibilities outweighs occasional maintenance chores. In this week's hot take, Katlynn discusses how, when men and women are raised differently, it creates a large gap in how they view household responsibilities. Men often say things like "I don't have to help with the dishes on a daily basis, because I handle the car maintenance". Which would be the equivalent of wome...

How to immediately lighten the mental load In this week's hot take, Katlynn discusses how to identify when you're overwhelmed by the mental load and how to immediately get relief. Bodily cues can tell us we're at our limit: Tightening in your chest/feeling anxious Short temper Having brain fog Other cues from our brain might be: Feeling like you're taking in too much information Not enjoying your...

Why men have the perception that women have standards that are "too high" and how it contributes to the mental load. We've all been in the situation before where we ask our husbands to do something. It seems easy and obvious: "can you clean the kitchen after dinner, please?" We leave and come home to find the kitchen is still mostly a mess. Sure, the food was put away, but there's still dirty pans...

Why women still carry the mental load when it comes to our children's healthcare. In this episode, we break down why women still carry a majority of the mental load when it comes to our kids and their medical records. Because of the way American structures its paid leave for women postpartum, they disproportionately take their children to health care appointments - both well checks and sick visits...

We don't want to ask for help with the mental load. Something about saying "can you help me with..." or "thanks for helping me with..." just grates on me. Most likely because it implies that I own the entire task and my partner only has to think about it and participate if asked, directed and given specific instructions. Sometimes when I'm at my breaking point and feeling frustrated about how much...

What is the mental load like in LGBTQ+ households? Today, Dr. Jazmin Richter joins us to talk through their experience redistributing the mental load as a queer couple in preparation for kids. In this episode we do a deep dive in to how partners can be more supportive to each other, change language around the mental load, and better align their values to create a more equal distribution of labor....

"Just ask for help" when it comes to the mental load. Don't be a nag - why women are held to a double standard in the household. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses why women are held to a double standard; being told to ask for help to alleviate the mental load, while being called a nag when they ask if something's gotten done. Men often get a pass to forget; they have a safety net of their partne...

Advice on how to change the mental load from a marriage therapist. The effect the mental load has on marriages and how to have the conversation with your spouse. It's (one) of the episodes you all have been waiting for. How do you have the mental load conversation with your spouse and create meaningful change? Licensed therapist, Kristen Sanchez, takes us through the process of: having the convers...

The mental load and weaponized incompetence. In this hot take, Katlynn discusses what weaponized incompetence looks like after women have been gone for a short or extended period of time from their homes. When we leave our home whether to travel for work or for time away for a little bit of self care, it's unfair to come home to a messy house and kids that are completely off schedule. Why is it th...

Why do millennial moms expect so much more from their husbands when it comes balancing the mental load? This week Angie and Katlynn debrief their episode with their boomer moms about the mental load. The two biggest takeaways from moms week were: They didn't have the language to talk about the mental load like millennial women They accepted and were ok with the way things were Which makes us wonde...

One fast way to lighten the mental load The affect of mommy influencers on our mental load There's no shame in the mommy influencer game. At all. It's a respectable way to make a living. But as millennial moms were inundated with information previous generations didn't have; in large part because of influencers. We've done a lot of damage to our mental health in the early days of influencers. We'r...

Join two millennial moms and their boomer mothers to discuss the mental load. This week Katlynn and Angie host their moms and mother-in-laws to discuss the mental load and get perspective from a different generation. We have our moms here because we thought it’d be a fun way for people to get to know us but also because as we’ve discussed so often on the podcast, the mental load is gendered, it’s...

The Mental Load and Prepping to go out of Town This week's hot take is about the mental load and prepping to go out of town. Those who carry the mental load can't simply pack their suitcase, give a few minor instructions and leave town. When you carry the mental load, in order to leave town you have to download your inherent knowledge and bring your partner up to speed on everything that needs to...

What transferrable skills does managing the mental load give moms? Today we’re discussing some of the valuable skill sets you get as a mom from balancing the mental load. I think we all feel stuck sometimes and focus a lot on the drain that the mental load causes and a while back, I listened to a podcast that was focused on skills that are unique to moms in the workplace because of motherhood and...

Sacrificing your sanity and being overwhelmed by the mental load at dinner isn't required. Be earth conscious, but don't feel guilty when you have to use paper plates to lighten the mental load every once and a while. As a family of six, the mental load around dinner and chores related to dinner is never ending. And with summer approaching we'll be running the dishwasher multiple times a day. And...

How the mental load takes over women's lives How not to lose yourself in motherhood "I resent the fact that you (dads) get to maintain your individuality, while I do not." The Mental Load often takes over women's lives leaving us feeling unfulfilled and like we lost ourselves in motherhood. It's a form of identity theft that nobody warns us about. When you become a mom, everyone starts to view you...

The mental load and mother's day For men: Why moms care so much about Mother's Day Join Katlynn from the Mental Load Podcast in this Mother's Day hot take. Attention dads! Mother's Day for moms isn't necessarily about how big you celebrate it. It really comes down to being recognized for work that we feel is usually ignored. The holiday's usually fall into the mental load category because there's...

Preparing for maternity leave and the start of the mental load. Career coach to help moms navigate a career and children. Women deal with a lot of emotions and roadblocks going into and coming back from maternity leave. How do we better prepare ourselves, our workplaces and our partners so the mental load at home and at work isn’t as bad? We had a great episode a couple weeks ago with Sarah Reeves...

How do countries outside America support families and therefore lighten the mental load? What do nordic countries do to support families: Baby boxes with important newborn items to set families up for success Paid parental leave  In Norway, parental leave is paid at full pay for the first 44 weeks or at 80% if parents opt to take 54 weeks. To encourage both parents to play their part, fathers...

The mental load of meal planning. Why families struggle with meals and how it creates invisible labor for women. Meal planning, it's a bitch, right? In this week's hot take, Angie, discusses how her family of six has tackled meal planning. And, if we do say so ourselves, it's kinda genius. Instead of meticulously planning out each meal and the ingredients or making everything on the weekend to sim...

Maternity Leave and the mental load Maternity Leave isn't a vacation. In fact, it's where the mental load really starts and becomes one-sided. Today we discuss how Employee Resource Groups can help support and lighten the load for not just moms, but all caregivers, joined by Sarah Reeves. Sarah is a girl mom to Ella 8, Norah 5, Husband Aaron of 13 years. She's the Director of Product Management at...

Acts of service as a love language Anecdotally I have noticed that every woman in a heterosexual relationship will say that her love language is acts of service. Ask her husband what her love language is and he'll say "definitely acts of service". But I think this is bullshit. What if, women are using acts of service as a love language as a cover for asking our partners to pick up more of the ment...