The Luke and Pete Show

Luke's been to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child but is duty bound to #keepthesecrets, and Pete uses this episode as an opportunity to get right up on his soapbox and rant and rave, Alex Jones-style, about the evils of craft ale, much to Luke's chagrin.  #neckbeards Speaking of Alex Jones, he gets a decent bit of airtime too, here's hoping YouTube don't give us a strike. Not that we care,...

When you're an experienced police officer, it probably takes a lot to shock you, and you could easily be seduced into thinking that you've seen it all. But, according to one of our listeners, his policeman pal got a lot more than he bargained for one day when following a suspected drug dealer. Listen in to hear the full story... Elsewhere, we find out about how sheep manage to survive just on gras...

Much like Thin Lizzy sang, the boys are indeed back in town and this time they're ruminating on the difference between poison and venom - the toxins, not the 80s bands. Two 80s bands they *are* talking about however, are Guns n Roses and Metallica, so stick around for that. There's also time to listen to a truly incredible email who bought his mother the *worst* present for Mother's Day that it's...

Did you ever get into a fight as a child? Perhaps you got into more than one. Perhaps you did so with a boy called Paul. Luke did, and he can't be the only one. Elsewhere, a future hall-of-fame listener informs us of a Luke and Pete Show drinking game that he's developed with his pals, inclusive of a PDF with pretty colours explaining how the whole thing works and we also find time for a truly rem...

Luke opens proceedings on how he likes to cook a steak, much to Pete Donaldson's chagrin and scepticism, before the boys get through *yet another* email about Stubbington Study Centre which almost beggars belief. It feels like the entire south of England has visited there at one time or another. After lots more of the usual dicking around, we finish the whole foul jamboree with possibly the greate...

Luke's been to see Black Panther (spoiler: he enjoyed it), we hear another Stubbington Study Centre story which is even more bloody exciting than the last one, some amazing new batteries enter the game and, as ever, Pete is able to squeeze in some chat about video games. Elsewhere the boy Donaldo almost has a full on meltdown on the subject of gifs. If, like Luke, you need some further information...

Rejoice! It's Monday and we're back for another half an hour of life-affirming nonsense from all over the world. This time around we fit in Valentine's Day activities, Pete's problems with the Winter Olympics and a truly amazing straw hat-related tale from a day at the cricket. There's also more old animals including one that is cheating, frankly, a brilliant pop hit to encourage people...

Happy Thursday! We're delighted to be in your ears towards the end of the week for the first time. It feels great.  This time around: Japanese trains and the perverts within them, Pete still has a hard time coming to terms with the age of some animals which manifests itself in the form of a truly horrific anecdote about tortoises, and some of your lovely emails of course. Thinking about...

The first of a new-look, twice a week Luke and Pete Show muscles into territory as diverse as efficient hydration (Luke), too-tight trousers (Pete, obviously), hemp trousers (Pete again, obviously) and the world's oldest animals. A note of caution, the world's oldest animals section blows Pete's mind to bits and it may well do the same to you. Consider that a warning. There's also more than enough...

Your two eponymous antiheroes are back for another episode of LAPS as all the kids are now calling it (pronounced 'LAPS'), and first stop is Pete trying to convince his Dad Stewart to go on holiday with him. After that, they hop across the Atlantic to visit some of the most questionable place names in the US and Canada after the reveal of King of Prussia last week. There's also enough space in the...

Hello you! Pete and Luke here. We've been working on a new show, and we'd love for you to have a listen. It's called The Windsor Knot, and it's a royal wedding podcast. A royal wedding podcast, made by and made for people who wouldn't exactly call themselves royalists. It's hosted by two incredibly talented men, Daniel Krupa and Joe Skrebels, and honestly - it's as funny as all hell. Do have a lis...

Another week and another themed episode from the chaps, as this time around they get stuck into wordy matters, including yet more children with inadvisable names. We find time for more Steve McQueen and Paul Newman chat too, as well as a decent treatise on Pete's specialist subject - getting drunk at home in your underwear. There's also good news for the statue enthusiasts among you, so stay tuned...

It's The Body Show! Luke and Pete received an inordinate amount of emails about the human body this week and so decided to group them together into one handy to listen to episode. But before they get into the nuts and bolts of that, there's the small matter of Japanese films Pete's been watching and Luke's new kitchen. More oddly-shaped chests are explored as well as the acupuncturing of a dog, bu...

We start episode 33 with an insight into Pete 'Donny/PD' Donaldson's utterly confusing approach to timekeeping before running through his recent trip to Krakow in Poland, a city in which he managed to offend a local tour guide with his behaviour in a famous salt mine. And yes, you did read that sentence correctly. Also in this episode we hear from a listener who has been through a chest procedure...

Pete starts episode 32 with a tremendously entertaining actor-based error and after that there's plenty more robot and AI chat following last week's discussion that kicked off 2018. We also take some time to read out your suggested riddle solutions, there are some more great non-translatable foreign words and someone almost kills a Shih Tzu with kindness. But don't worry, no animals were harmed in...

Holy Macaroni! We're in the future! It's 2018 and, as you can probably imagine, this fact dominates proceedings in episode 31. We discuss futuristic things that may or may not happen, Pete interprets his own dreams in quite a simple (and predictable) way, there's a heartfelt tribute to one of the world's great metallic birds and we touch on Paul Newman and Steve McQueen. Before we chip off for ano...

A big hearty Christmas-load of glad tidings to all of our listeners as we release episode 30 of The Luke and Pete Show on Baby Jesus' birthday, no less. This week, words in other languages that have very specific meanings, Pete's insight into how to become a good continuity announcer on the telly, playing Trivial Pursuit and an incredible, and very specific, emergency call. Send glad tidings to us...

Pete is back from his charity trip to Kenya, we hear from more listeners who have 'ruined Christmas', a man who struggled to make jokes while learning English, and an unfortunate soul who self-medicates with onions and insists that it works better than any more traditional remedy. There's also time for some more Booze Britain chat from a man very close to the franchise and a blast from the past in...

On this week's offering to appease the podcast gods, our eponymous ne'er do wells take in such disparate subject as flat earth rocketmen, wombats and groundhogs, the insect sting pain scale and yet more post office employee tales to savour. Elsewhere Pete continues to bang the 'speciality video' drum and there is an emailer willing to indulge him, we hear a story about someone who actually won a c...

This week in your ever so slightly late and ever so slightly postal themed Luke and Pete Show, the boys discuss a truly ridiculous situation in the Post Office, a man whose eyes are frankly high maintenance, a postman in a spot of bother and much more.  We also induct a new Mencartee, and find time to talk about our favourite alcohol-themed reality shows. Boozy. Toast us: hello@lukeandpetesho...

Admin. Numbers. Who'd have 'em? Allow Peter Marmaduke Donaldson to explain... The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's fifty minutes of daftness, we learn of Luke Moore's love of herbivorous mammals, the life-size cabbage patch doll who lives in his house, and Pete learns of a frightful eyesore of a building in Lebanon. Get in touch via @lukeandpeteshow on twitter, and hello@lukeandpeteshow.com for all your correspondence, which for obvious reasons we can't live without. The Luke and Pete Show is th...

Pete has made a truly disturbing discovery about the very bones that hold literally all of our bodies together, there's some decent discussion about airports and the presence of strange car raffles within them, some more British awkwardness and lots more including more from our egg correspondent. It's getting to the point now where we don't need to tell you that we have a bit about off-brand batte...

First up, Luke has locked himself out of the house. After that all of you, literally all of you, are sleepwalkers or so it seems. As a result, we trawl through a load of your tales of the mischief you've all got up to while unconscious. There's also time to explore the legal precedent for committing horrific crimes while asleep and subsequently getting away with it. Basically it's a crime/sleepwal...

Luke and Pete are joined by a special guest as writer and broadcaster Rick Edwards pops in to the studio to discuss his new book Science(ish) and whatever other nonsense us and you, the listener, can throw at him. Expect talk about British awkwardness, a fair bit about the science behind movies and why Rick is unlikely to ever become friends with celebrated director Christopher Nolan. Oh, there's...