The Luke and Pete Show

Pete’s been using an angle grinder and it’s made his cabin smell awful. Luke’s son is reassuring him that he hasn’t done a poo. All is right in the world. Today’s topics include the natural beauty of Norfolk, the deaths of Margaret Thatcher and Osama Bin Laden and the wonders of what3words. Don’t die in an embarrassing quadrant, whatever you do. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments...

Pete’s got a new project and it’s nearly claimed his life already. It involves walls, glass, vans and a great deal of calamity. Before any of that, though, there’s a more serious matter to attend to: what defines “European-strength” pornography? Also on today’s episode, we've got exploding appendixes and plenty of listener correspondence, including a new potential segment titled “Earnest or Irrita...

Under the microscope this fine Monday: the land of the free and the home of the brave. Luke and Pete discuss the recent passing of Robert Mueller, Kash Patel’s shoes and pink hair in the FBI. Staying on the subject of the US of A, Mr Moore has a challenge for Mr Donaldson. Can he name any ten American men? There’s literally only one way to find out. Plus, we’ve got a new mission for you, the liste...

On today’s show, Luke laments the inherent meekness of the British and their aversion to revolution. Thank God for a new set of golf clubs to lift his spirits a bit. Pete, meanwhile, is getting stuck in the long grass of naming conventions and the business of double-barrelling. We’ve also got a bizarrely-decorated hard hat to investigate and the origin of a nickname to explain. Send us your latest...

If Luke and Pete were to leave the studio to find they’re suddenly the only people left on the planet, what would the strategy be? Minor spoiler: primates and Lime Bikes would be involved. Also up for discussion are parking tickets, jarring tonal shifts in hip-hop and an email about bubbly water. Plus, we find out what Pete was up to in the 90s. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments...

Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do. On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the past and present, as well as those of golfers and middle-aged men more generally. Not only that, but there’s an offering for the Battery Robot and some big news concerning Afroman. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeand...

The trailer for SNL UK is out and Luke and Pete are sticking to their original predictions vis à vis its quality. But there’s bigger fish to fry on this fine Monday because video game faces have been yassified and, $80 billion later, the Metaverse is dead. Elsewhere, Luke shouts out Denis Norden and David Niven’s wartime pasts and Pete gives his thoughts on contemporary British and Irish stars of...

Luke’s distaste for what he calls “wet music” might have ruined a recent night out, but his negativity is no match for Pete’s beef with a certain Instagram content creator. Also on today’s agenda: robots on mental health walks, video game discussions and a massive question of the day from Mr Moore: "why are we acting like WWIII isn’t already happening?"  Send us your latest stories, questions...

Pete might have cracked the code to weight loss, everyone. But will the solution give him bad pumps? Only time will tell. Elsewhere on today’s episode, the guys reminisce/have flashbacks about the time Pete was rescued by a lifeguard named Abraham and Luke brings a meat shower to the table. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com . The Luke and Pete Show...

Cryptids. Ever heard of them? Well, they get everywhere. Including Hartlepool, it turns out. Today’s edition of the Luke and Pete show moves from the cryptozoological to the regular kind of zoological when chimpanzees become the focus of the discussion. Trigger warning: includes details of a brutal real-life chimp attack. This is not one for the squeamish. But there’s a nice chaser in store: Pete’...

Pete’s been off on his holidays again, this time to Moldova and the breakaway republic of Transnistria. And he didn’t even get as pissed as he could have. Staying on the theme of states and nations, Luke and Peter touch on the war in the Middle East and how certain Dubai residents have reacted to it. And on an entirely different note, there’s a good amount of potty training chat. Truly something f...

Luke is in the purgatory of British house-buying — a process his Wife He Has Access To finds baffling when you can apparently just kick a door in and claim land in Connecticut. Plus, Pete has been dragged into a six-quid Vinted dispute over some trousers that were definitely brown in the photo and has emerged victorious, slightly guilty, heartfelt hospital stories and a new genre of music called E...

Welcome, intrepid podcast traveller - good to have you with us. Let Pete regale you with tales of a near-death experience involving a 25-minute walk, getting a blister while dodging a man carrying a slab of MDF, and fancifully thinking about taking up boxing. We've all been there. Elsewhere, Luke continues to beat Pete at chess and will not let him forget it. Plus, retro video games we'll never fi...

A former US President said that aliens exist! More on this story right here on LAPS. In other news, Battery Robot has returned to the fold, Luke’s getting into chess and Tommy Robinson is still a horrible grifter. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com . The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Do...

Happy Monday everyone. What better way to start the week than with some allegorical analysis of 1986’s Top Gun ? Also on today’s menu: framemogging, Sci-Fi literature, hot tamales and, crucially, supermarket biscuits. Pete reckons this thing goes all the way to the top. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com . The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes rid...

On today’s episode, Luke and Pete contend with some of the grim realities of the ruling classes on both sides of the pond. In unfortunate news for Peter, a truly dreadful man shares his passion for the Toyota Century. There’s also some ice bath chat, a big battery submission and a brief look back at Pete’s dating history. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpetes...

On the agenda today: Maxïmo Park, tight trousers and the appendages they disguise (or don’t disguise) and the astonishing number of famous people produced by one small Scottish town. Plus, we have a look at a beautiful radio owned by Luke’s grandad and find out what Pete’s father makes of AI. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com . The Luke and Pete Sh...

We kick off today’s episode with a look back on the good and the bad of 1990s cartoons and satire, before taking a moment to appreciate the late, great John Virgo. What’s more, there’s some battery business and listener correspondence to attend to. A Network Rail gentleman tells Luke and Pete a bit more about animals being hit by trains. Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hell...

Mr Donaldson’s just got in from another European trip, this time to the land of tapas and seashell-adorned buildings. Today’s topics include punctuation, close calls with rental car companies and the death of the Metaverse. Plus, loads of limestone might be cheaper than you think. Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com . The Luke and Pete Show is the some...

Disturbing psychological conditions, Disney cruises and the obscenity of billionaires. Variety is the spice of life. Plus, there’s plenty of love around here for Harry Hill and plenty of time to marvel at the sheer number of species out there. Remember, there are always more armadillos than you think. Send us your best stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com . The Luke and...

Pete’s been to Paris and it’s making everyone very depressed, and not because of envy. The man is self-admittedly awful at booking things. On an equally cheery note, the guys discuss the limits of their animal-killing capacities, as well as those of train drivers. Also, worming a cat is no joke. Happy Monday everyone. Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow....

Luke and Pete kick off this episode by delighting at the days getting longer. It’ll be spring before you know it, lads. Things get more controversial when Luke has his say about lager consumption alongside a curry (is it really that good of a pairing?) and the guys take a look at the curious case of Veronika the Austrian cow. She may or may not be doing wonders for the reputation of her species’ i...

Carmageddon II looms large in Pete’s early university memories, but it’s not the reason he had to apologise to campus security. Luke, meanwhile, had to deal with an American-style shared room. The stuff of nightmares nowadays. Elsewhere, the guys discuss the Beckham family drama and wonder precisely how many cakes Mr Tom Cruise is sending out at Christmas. Place your bets. Send us your latest stor...

Impending doomsday diary entry 876, from Donaldson and Moore’s bunker studios… As the world casually burns, we still find time to enjoy Looksmaxxing bros continuing to shoot themselves in the reproductive organs in their quest for hotness - as well as the Tate Brothers conducting their own Donaldson weekender. Plus, the big questions answered: who are our own Top G influencers? What’s the best sub...

Luke’s got to come clean about his murky past: the amount of pints and chocolate eclairs he knicked while working at the Student Union. To be fair, at least he wasn’t getting high on his own pork supply like Pete was at Leicester City.  Plus: the relentless abundance of political weirdos, tricks of the hotel trade and metal bands fronted by literal children. Just another Monday with your podc...