The Luke and Pete Show

Pete tells us about the highlight of his Cornwall holiday - his microwave steaks - but Luke's sure that if he served it to Jeremy Clarkson he'd be a goner! Elsewhere, the lads conclude that farmers don't need to be paid more after Pete tells us how easily one guy – somewhere, one time – scraped together a million pounds to save his kidnapped daughter. Then Luke rants about conspiracies and anti-va...

Luke think Pete treats his stomach like an abusive parent after he sees him eating Chinese in the office at 9am. Pete's upset no one likes Bigga Juice at Stak HQ. He also complains about the lack of microwave possibilities in the office which turns the conversation to the Darwin Awards as they contemplate how long it would take to microwave your head. Elsewhere they talk about the fans they'v...

Should a professional footballer be allowed to play 5-aside in the name of friendship? Can old musicians actually produce good work or are they just upheld by the reputation of their youth? We're looking at you Mr. 'Gasm... Elsewhere Pete tells us how he was woken up by a rando and Luke rants about the about the consequences of sleeping on a train - he outright refuses to be a professional waker-u...

Luke urges Pete to kill the stowaways he's found in his Japanese car because he's is adamant that they're invasive. This prompts the lads to discuss border control as Lukey relives the moment his football boots where confiscated in New Zealand. Elsewhere, Luke educates us on the Guano Islands, which Donny insists would be better named the Bird Poo Islands, and contemplates the hierarchy of animal...

The lads can’t stop talking about Bear Grylls! Pete contemplates how long he’d last in the wild, as the lads attempt their best impressions and ask the big question: is Bear just kinky about animals? Elsewhere, Luke rants about the 5STAR channel and asks how Ofcom allows erect penis’ on TV after watching a documentary on the porn industry. Plus, Donny talks all things blood sausage and chicken sas...

What makes a good petrol station? Do you swerve the ducks and risk a pile-up, or drive over them instead? And is flashing a fake penis still flashing? Elsewhere, Pete tells us about the time he fractured his skull as a baby and Luke explains why he's offended by McCain's 'Daddy or chips' commercial. Plus, the Luke and Pete Show movie club opens its doors once more! Want to get in touch with the sh...

Donny learns about the fascinating invention of velcro for babies, Luke calls parents that take their kids to Glastonbury performative, and Pete votes for The Wiggles over the Arctic Monkeys. Elsewhere, they weigh in on Taylor Swift's "tepid" songwriting skills ("she's no Smokey Robinson") because Pete can't understand any of it, while Luke reminds 'the youth' that Madonna existed first. Plus, the...

Pete insists that Phil Collins and Bob Hoskins are one in the same but Luke's not having any of it. Luke reveals his ultimate goal is to star as Fagin in Oliver on the West End. Elsewhere we talk about a survey that concluded life was better in the 17th century... Plus Luke reviews a new movie and Pete goes to pilot school! Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or yo...

This week the lads give a full Coachella review and ultimately conclude that Blur's really not for them. Elsewhere, Luke reminisces on his wild surf-style upbringing fuelled by twisted jeans and Red Or Dead t-shirts and Pete gets a lesson in broadcasting 101. Plus, Donny has the ultimate care update! Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Tw...

Would you want to play a plane simulation game in real time and sit in front of a screen for an 8 hour long-haul flight? The lads talk about arcades in Soho, which leads them to the ultimate question - which arcade games are the gayest? Elsewhere, Pete compares Luke to an iceberg and Luke learns his lesson when the wife he has access to doesn’t let him in after he’s late for bath time. Want to get...

Pete’s back from Wrestlemania and brings tales of thermal tights, CVS and fried oysters for breakfast. But Luke asks the most important question of all - did Pete miss him?! Elsewhere, they discuss earthquake advice and the vasectomy saga continues… Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow. Follow us @the...

Luke revisits more call centre nostalgia and raves about the magic of Teenage Mutant Turtles. Plus Pete finds out that Lukey’s a big ol’ nerd who’s eagerly been awaiting the final books of the Game of Thrones series for a whopping 13 years! Elsewhere, Luke says Pete should go into stand up comedy and is certain that all he’d need to do to find success is wet himself on stage. Want to get in touch...

Luke comes in hot with tortoiseshell cat facts and impressive goblin knowledge, claiming the title of Dungeon Master. Elsewhere, Pete stumbles across the least vegetarian thing you could possibly do. Plus, the boys discuss meat jelly and Luke has a new book club entry! Want to get in touch with the show? Email:  hello@lukeandpeteshow.com  or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram:...

Could you tell the difference between New York or South London? Is Donald Trump on a dog hating campaign? And would you mess with an Eastern European tough guy? The lads come armed with the hard questions this week. Plus, Luke tells us about his great granddad's crazy german shepherd and Pete's recently visited Bulgaria - without telling Daddy Lukey… Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hell...

Warning: don't mess with hobgoblins, they'll get you fired - as Donny can attest. Elsewhere, Luke discovers in the war against air-cons, babies will lose and Pete explains why Luke is the embodiment of bus driver chic. Plus, the lads are certain that having a beard is against the TFL dress code. Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter...

This week, the lads are on the ultimate myth-busting mission, as they try to work out if you can make cocaine out of banana skins and turn non-alcoholic drinks alcoholic. Elsewhere, Luke sends us to finishing school again, but this time he educates us on pub etiquette. Hot tip: don’t make a barmaid cry by turning down the pub quiz. Plus, another car update from Pete! Want to get in touch with the...

Pete relives his golden days at Oxygen nightclub and gives us the down low on all of his best dance moves. However, Luke investigates the real question: how effective was this in finding romance on the dance floor? Elsewhere, after reminiscing about Pete's time playing in a Ska punk band, the lads talk about all things guitars - ever seen one made out of colour pencils or coke bottles? Plus, Luke...

On today’s show, the lads debate the respectability of different jobs, from podcasting to lead consultants on neonatal wards - fancy entering into business with Willy Wonka himself? Luke thinks not. Elsewhere, Luke tells us about the only acceptable form of WhatsApp etiquette. Plus, Pete talks all things Photoshop with a deep dive into Brian Eno’s diary and a long-awaited royal update on Kate Midd...

This week, the guys are talking about ‘the poor aesthetic’. Are the Last Dinner Party right? Are people sick of hearing about the cost of living? And was it acceptable to ask Rob Beckett to model in front of piled-high bins on his photoshoot? Plus, Pete introduces his neighbour to Bigga Juice! Want to get in touch with the show? Email:  hello@lukeandpeteshow.com  or you can get in touch...

Today we conclude that if we can shoot rabbits, then we can shoot fascists too as Luke tells us all about the new Nazi documentary he’s seen. But talk quickly turns to Donaldson’s funky pants! Speaking of Pete, he’s destined to be the next biggest self-help guru with his latest top tips - oh and he also gives us a long awaited car update, drumroll please… Want to get in touch with the show? Email:...

Beware if you’re squeamish! Pete starts today’s episode by telling us about his best pimple popping moment. Grim! However, we do at least learn why he used to wear foundation as a teen… Elsewhere, Luke encourages Pete to buy tooth cement from Amazon. Plus, the lads finally discuss the new Willy Wonka experience that only delivered on making kids cry and parents really, really angry. Want to get in...

Do you think Pete would be a good spy? Today, Luke amazingly explains why he backs Donny for a career in espionage. Elsewhere, Pete shares his fears that he is addicted to grapes - which admittedly isn’t that 007 - and a listener tells us about the sequence of events that lead to him buying a “vasectomy advent calendar”. It’s just another vintage edition of The Luke and Pete Show. Want to get in t...

Have you been wondering how Bryan Johnson's attempt to live forever is going? Well, today Luke and Pete give you an update which unfortunately means more chat about his erections... On a completely unrelated note, Luke is encouraging Peete to get plastic surgery. Plus. Pete updates us on his car and the lads take a moment to re-live some of their teenage trauma. Want to get in touch with the show?...

In the most Pete Donaldson story ever, today he tells Luke about the time he deliberately drank undiluted cordial. Listen to find out the amazing reason why. After that, Luke and Pete discuss their favourite viral videos, which both contain men displaying their nipples and a listener makes the mistake of asking us for medical advice. Brave! Want to get in touch with the show? Email:  hello@lu...

Are pistachios an acceptable breakfast item? Pete Donaldson clearly thought so when he scoffed down a packet in the studio this morning. On a related note, Pete tells Luke about the 24-hour candy floss machine near his house and the lads discuss the viral story of the breakdancing dad. Plus, we revisit our regular and extremely popular feature on b̶a̶t̶t̶e̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ vasectomies. Want to get in touc...