The LOW Performance Podcast

We are back for another world cup special! We chat about suspended suspensions, Harry Kane's croaky voice and how couragous Scott Parker makes us feel. We also tackle the biggest issue in world football - What is "Emily" Heskey's favourite Vegetable?

Fight and Win! We open the Sad Sack and discuss our favourite football clips and the logistics of organising a world cup. Plus we have a special world cup quiz!

The World Cup is finally here! It's not quite AFCON but the low performance moments have been flowing! With Linden on internation duty, join Jack and Alan as they discuss everything from a Tina Turner/ Harry Maguire comparison to Clint Dempsy being better than Eden Hazard. All this and more

With the season over we wrap things up before a small break before the World Cup. We chat about the season - Worst team, worst manager, worst signing and Linden keeps us up to date with his Fifa 11 save. All this and your emails/Salah-klopp-isms!

This episode we "dive" into our choices for the best worst referees, decisions and VAR calls.. Just a few highlights: - AFCON in all its glory, blowing for full time several times and still not playing 90 minutes - Alan and his continued beef with Barry Knight - Ben Thatcher somehow avoiding a GBH charge and getting a yellow card instead - Italy v South Korea in the 2002 world cup result...

In this part of the episode we are strangley up-to-date. Arsenal champions and Southampton out of the play offs, we recorded on a busy footballing news night. We also discuss our low performance moments of the week including Ronaldo's dissapointment, Neymars substitution rage and we delve into the best fottball club songs!

This episode we delve into our Fault Vault! Man City not knowing what result they need, Torres missing an open goal, Germany making light work of Brazil and an Irishman not knowing where Dublin is! All of that plus we dip our toe into true crime with a MURDER!

Welcome to the "Fault Vault"! A place we store all of the low performance moments from history. In Part 1 we discuss our low performance moments of the week, Salah-Kopp-isms, listener correspondence and set up our topic for part 2. On the menu today - Fifa debut badges, viral Forest fans, Raheem Sterling's Ballon D'or clause and Spy Gate 2.0 Plus a 10 minute meandering speach by Jack about the Ser...

Champions League in itv? Baggy kits? Teletext? We miss them all and more. Listen to se why and what else has us tearing up with nostalgia. Football was better when it was worse.

This week we look back at the things we miss most about football from the past. For part 1 though we discuss our low performance moment of the week, read your correspondence and Salah-Klopp-isms and generally waffle. The "Leeds Alarm" has been set off, can a player have a "wand of a RIGHT foot", did we see the softest penalty ever this week and what was the Zaragoza keeper thin...

Into the meat (or should that be egg?) of our episode! Drilling your own foot? Sneezing? Changing gear in the car? All caused injuries to players in this episode. Plus, how did the underground heating at Old Trafford lead to Steve Hodge selling Maradona's shorts for £12m? And can an egg take you out for the rest of the season? All this plus a quiz. Enjoy!!

In this episode, we discuss our low-performance moments of the week and read your correspondence. We cover the glory of York v Rochdale - Did a fan empty some ashes on the pitch? Poor Jack discusses Leeds' Wembley form. What is the Italian solution to the Iran World Cup problem? And Abi from West Cork wants us to go further into injuries...

An episode to catch up with your emails and input! Plus our low performance moments of the week which include Reading fans seeing TWO teams promoted at their ground, Chris Martins plans for the World Cup half time show and Spurs of course! Enjoy!

In part 2 we delve into our choices for the best worst owners. Surprise, surprise Jack focuses mainly on Leeds, Alan looks into Bolton and Blackburn and Linden of course brings us some continental flair! Plus our weekly quiz!

LINDEN IS BACK!!! In other less important news we begin our look at the best worst football club owners. In this part we delve into the sad sack, share some Salah-Klopp-isms and share our low performance moments of the week!

This episode we get into our choices for the best worst excuse in football. The removal of a statue of Michael Jackson was to blame for relegation? The ball being to bouncy was to blame for a defeat? Scottish genes are the reason for their lack of world cup success? All of this and more in todays episode!

Jack and Alan continue without our buddy Linden this week as we discuss the best worst excuses in football. Jack is still a little giddy about Leeds getting to Wembley so there is some FA Cup chat. We also discuss Italy's decline, Thierry Smalls strange own goal and we dive into your correspondence.

Bonjour cher auditeur! This week, we dive into some low-performance moments that originate with the French. Thierry Henry better put his cheating hands in his ears... Also, did you know that the current World Champions are Türkiye, USMT have the best players in the world and that Real Madrid have a Medieval medical room? All this and more on the pod this week.

This week, we discuss our choices for the best worst midfielder and attacker substitutions. This includes a discussion of one of our favourite stories - Ali Dia Also we we receive breaking AFCON news, hence the long pod and we discuss what Rob Hulse is up to and many other low performance moments of the week.

Rather fittingly for episode 13, we discuss our best worst substitute goalkeepers (and defenders) Also directly before we recorded, Tottenhams Kinsky made his disasterous CL debut, so we had a chat around that and Spurs in general. Also we discuss Hulk taking the moral high ground, Linden slanders Bielsa and Alan has a VAR rant

We don't need James Richardson, we have Linden Preen. While Alan and Jack continue the hard pod grind, Linden reports from a small Italian Piazza. We discuss the worst elements of football stadiums and hear about Linden's recent San Siro trip.

Strap yourselves in for the most amazing managerial journey! José Mourinho has his say too!

Part 1 of our managers episode. Plus a discussion of the quality of the Premier League, Kris Kamara managing Mark Schwarzer and did Wolves get the better end of the Strand Larsen deal?... (yes.)

Part 2 of 2! Very simply this episodes includes the greatest quiz moment in the history of any podcast...

Part 1 of 2! After a chat about Ian Holloway's epic rant, a catch up with some "George Friend(s) of the pod" and an attempt to reach out across the Irish Sea we begin our selection of our best worst centre forwards.