The Low Ceiling

National Treasure: Book of Secrets would be a massively disappointing film if Disney+ hadn't made the miniseries that involved none of the principal performers. But hey! It's got weird edits and Nic Cage, so we can't complain too much. We pitch ideas for Natch Tresz 4 starring Helen Mirren and Riz Ahmed (spoiler alert: they f*ck), talk about the performer and commentator Glenn Beck (no...

A movie that stole the Declaration of Independence and our hearts, National Treasure (Natch Tresz) is the delicious jam and jelly of Disney's mid-aughts line-up. We (somehow) talk extensively about Nickelback, Ben Franklin's J-O tools, and Nic Cage's icy sexual chemistry with every actress he's worked with. Listen in only if you've seen Zodiac 2 , Constantine 5 , Iron Mans 1 th...

In a world where some people are mentally ill and some are geniuses, John Forbes Nash was…..both. A Beautiful Mind ! Best Picture winner, 2001! The only film we will ever cover with that distinction. We get all cinephile and express cutting edge opinions such as " The Lord of the Rings was good" and "Russell Crowe is a good actor"! Then we compare the real John Nash to the bull...

It's hard work being as trenchant and stupid as we are so we've got a shorty that we had to edit all the libel and defamation out of. Happy holidays!

**SPOILER ALERT** Everyone check your bathwater and your pipes for the hidden sociopath in your life. We do a timely review of Emerald Fennell's Very Important masterpiece, Saltburn . A work of cinema you could barely wade in at your gigantic f*ck off castle. Are the rich bad? And we check in on sociopaths, are they also still bad? We answer every question and lay it out in a tasteful, obnoxio...

We're just a couple of sportsguys here to talk about the film, Coach Carter . Pri is sick and Jon reveals plans for his new nu-metal podcast project. We break down a major conspiracy at play in the film and finally take a popular stance and come for the teachers in this one. Free yourself from the shackles of corporate bondage and volunteer to make your community a better place and actually me...

VICE! Spain! Waterboarding! Jon and Pri recount their holiday cinema experiences to preview some coming LC attractions and bore the audience to tears. Then, it's VICE, the Dick Cheney cinema satire that swept the nation five years ago and has made no impact since. We talk about waterboarding your grandkids, Amy Adams' inspiration for her role, and yep...well gang...think you better...uh......

Rise and shine little b*tch. We talk about one of the great films of the previous decade, Spring Breakers and in preparation Pri gets a rundown of Harmony Korine's career of nonsense. The hosts talk about Travis Scott's Traviscottery, shorts: every colour, and hear from Katherine Hepburn and Howard Hughes. People die of bullets in this film and even Meryl Streep catches a few strays! Bring...

Ouch! Burnt ! A movie that requires such strict scrutiny to its awfulness that time ceases to exist. Jon and Pri are full of cayenne pepper as they discuss Helene's absurd salary and good omelettes. Jon reveals the one piece of advice Ira Glass gave him personally and his beef with director John Wells. You'd rather shuck a million oysters than watch this film but listen along while you do...

A deer chooses the wizard king in this one.

The Misdemenors of Grindelwald ! A better film than you'd think but lacks the crimes you'd expect. Jon and Pri question how the Imperius curse works, get suckered into chatting sh*t about JK R*wling, and ponder whether you can apparate onto the Hogwarts grounds or not (a plot point around which an entire novel was based but now seems to be a completely arbitrary rule oh my god make up your...

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them , one of the greatest movies ever to be based on a fictional textbook mentioned one time. Jon and Pri talk about draconian wizard laws, She Who Must Not Be Named, and where to actually find beasts. They're closer than you think!

Welcome to Alien Court, where we put the film Alien: Covenant on trial for little mouth crimes. Jon is sick (of everyone's Prometheus saltiness) and Pri breaks big news about Michael Fassbender's forthcoming autobiography You Blow, I'll Do the Fingering . Scott Fest hasn't come early but enjoy this episode anyway or leave the country please.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is long, full of problems, and will make you cry at the end regardless. Jon and Pri break down the film by talking about aging, Jared Harris (son of Dumbledore), and Parisian drivers. Listen in while you stand in line at the French DMV to get your suspended license back, you cobble-stoned maniac.

This one time, on this podcast, we talked about a superior sequel film known as American Pie 2 . We wonder what happened to Jason Biggs, the most underrated performance in the movie, and whether Stifler has been a woke king this whole time. Glue your hand to your other hand and listen along.

**STRONG CONTENT WARNING** Our annual dip into the nightmare highway that is CanCon. We chat about a film that made Francis Ford Coppola refuse to give an award and had audiences nationwide f*cking t**lpipes with reckless abandon. Not your dad's Crash!

Eternals , drop the "the", it's cleaner. As the first podcast to ever criticize the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Jon and Pri keep it light by talking about the complete death of art, Brian Tyree Henry's Sexiest Hands in Hollywood Award , and selfie sticks. Jon is a few beers deep and busting out the Arishem voice and if anyone has a problem they can take it up with Captain Wildebee...

We are the Lord of War now! Back in cinema's greatest year, 2005, we welcome back friends of the pod Cage, Leto, Moynihan, and Baggins. A film with major issues and real acting. We talk about bad song choices, Viktor Bout's three-point percentage, and what would happen if ISIS got ahold of Midjourney. It's just that dog in us.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty: Demystified . One of Pri's favourite films enters the octagon where Jon reveals his nefarious ties to the Papa John's conglomerate, we establish the pod's official stance on Greenland and the Taliban, and try to talk Icelandic to great critical acclaim. Greenland: not even once.

Men! The 2022 Alex Garland film that shocked all five people who saw it. Jon and Pri chat about the criticism levelled at the movie and what it means. We chat an inordinate amount about She Said and touch on the existential horror of being in Britain. Birth rocks and so does this movie!

It's About Time people got on board with this little ditty of a Richard Curtis film from 2013. Jon and Pri break down Rachel McAdams' slick moves, get personal about time travel, and speculate on who the worst Destiny's Child was. This movie is good and for good people, especially the Scots!

Did the work of cinema Behind Enemy Lines scare Owen Wilson away from making a serious film ever again? Yes, it did. But we also talk about 9/11 (as usual), propaganda, and Jon pushes his Sean Connery impression into the stratosphere. Wow! This was a movie!

Jon and Pri discuss Waiting... a film that truly shows its age. This Reynolds-Long-Faris-Cook nexus should be buried in a vault or shot into space. We talk about not being scolds, the current food media moment, and introduce The Justin Long Hall of Fame. 2005 was a weird year.

Eat Pray Love! Welcome to a harsh takedown of a movie no one likes about the very best white lady at the ashram. We talk about irresponsible travel, Brazilians (the people!), and where to get a turkey in Italy. Stick your face in a puddle on foreign soil and drink it in.

We are witches and we just want to dance. We discuss Suspiria: the Club Remix and sing the praises of one Dakota "DJ" Johnson. We establish the podcast's official stance on drinking pee (it's science), admire a statue made of tits, and bemoan the lack of German culture present in this film. Listen in and get uneasy with your Maters.